Failed my test

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It feels "demeaning" to you to take out your wallet and contribute to the check at a restaurant?? Would his advances have been more welcome if he had dropped some serious cash first? Ooof. You sound very mixed up, OP.

His advances and words would feel way more in line with his real actions. If he offered to pick something for me from the menu - he should be paying for it. Not me.

In other words - I don’t trust him now. I feel like maybe a man just wants to find a financially stable woman to settle in dmv. He also spoke about too many future plans too soon including meeting my mom. You get it. I’m passing

[Anonymous]

I like OP. I think the kind of men want are the stupid ones..those dumb men who fall the old gender roles are being taken to the cleaners. These modern women like OP pick and choose what they like from the traditional gender roles. If he picks up the fan on the first day will you do his laundry on a consistent basis when you are dating? Will you cook for him on a consistent basis? Will you clean the place on the consistent basis while he watches TV? These are the things that our mothers who were working just like our dads did. The modern woman isn't signing up for this sh**t I am sure lol. She just wants to pick and choose. Men are like a buffet pick and choose what you like.

[Anonymous]

"Alpha" guys never actually are "alpha". Like anyone who calls themselves an "alpha male" is usually the biggest loser you could ever meet. Like my cousin's husband who keeps participating in pyramid schemes but keeps talking about traditional gender roles. These "trad" guys always conveniently forget that their oart of the bargain is making all the money. They just want a wife who does everything for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It feels "demeaning" to you to take out your wallet and contribute to the check at a restaurant?? Would his advances have been more welcome if he had dropped some serious cash first? Ooof. You sound very mixed up, OP.

His advances and words would feel way more in line with his real actions. If he offered to pick something for me from the menu - he should be paying for it. Not me.

In other words - I don’t trust him now. I feel like maybe a man just wants to find a financially stable woman to settle in dmv. He also spoke about too many future plans too soon including meeting my mom. You get it. I’m passing

Trickle trickle trickle facts keep coming....

Begging you to find some kind of site or hobby where you can meet men who are traditionally minded like you want. But it's interesting that you don't understand that traditionally minded men are also men who might be likelier to "speak about future plans" much sooner than you seem to want. Can't have it both ways.

[Anonymous]

You both sound awful and also not a good match.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It feels "demeaning" to you to take out your wallet and contribute to the check at a restaurant?? Would his advances have been more welcome if he had dropped some serious cash first? Ooof. You sound very mixed up, OP.

Agree, OP seems to trumpet how she's got a high income and is willing to ask men out and pay herself (later, I guess? after they pass her test?), yet she also wants the man to know magically what she's thinking about paying on the first date (other dates too? She's unclear). People like OP who want dates to read their minds are very ill-suited to dating today.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I like OP. I think the kind of men want are the stupid ones..those dumb men who fall the old gender roles are being taken to the cleaners. These modern women like OP pick and choose what they like from the traditional gender roles. If he picks up the fan on the first day will you do his laundry on a consistent basis when you are dating? Will you cook for him on a consistent basis? Will you clean the place on the consistent basis while he watches TV? These are the things that our mothers who were working just like our dads did. The modern woman isn't signing up for this sh**t I am sure lol. She just wants to pick and choose. Men are like a buffet pick and choose what you like.

+1
Test aside, nobody likes going to dinner with the glutton who orders lots of expensive everything then happily splits the check and stiffs on the tip. There are tons of threads here on that very topic. He's a loser.

[Anonymous]

Ewww, glad he won't see you anymore.

[Anonymous]

I don't really share OPs views and I doubt we would get along in real life. That said, the guy sounds pretty awful. Even though I don't mind splitting and generally dislike traditional gender roles, I would be turned off by a guy ordering all this stuff and then wanting to split the bill. I would also be turned off by a guy talking about eventually meeting my mom when it's just the first date.

[Anonymous]

this is odd. My Dw has never paid for a meal not even on our first date, but I can't imagine her being embarrassed if she had to write a check in front of people while I was there

[Anonymous]

Would not see him again. But don’t expect others to understand your tests. and I am with you thst it was unreasonable for him to order a lot of food and expect you to pay half. Not a good sign. Things will only get worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Great first date, lots of common interests, decent guy close to my age, great job and claims to have great values. But two things: 1. He was too physical and 2. Agreed to my offer to split check (which was a test I use to weed out men who don’t follow gender roles). I offer to split and then watch if they gladly agree or insist on them picking the check following the unspoken dating etiquette. Those who insist on them paying get pass to date 2.

Even though I just wanted to order small drinks and he was the one “generously” ordering a whole bottle and lots of food. The bill was $100 and it’s nothing by my income level but typically first date bill for a man would be $30 max - couple drinks or coffee. This left me with unpleasant aftertaste. In my books, it’s the person who invites and orders more food pays. I feel like he didn’t try to impress me and I somehow felt used since he was physical (hands all over me, kisses etc). I didn’t really reject his advances and he’s a great kisser, but he did this in public and it pushed my comfort level somewhat.

He is a foreigner. Maybe that’s part of why he failed the test. Am I in the wrong here ?

Troll

So bizarre. Splitting bills is fine.

[Anonymous]

Too physical is wrong or bad EQ.

[Anonymous]

How do you know if your test works if you don’t actually have a 2nd date with si many men?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What the hell is a small drink? Stay home with your damn $30 and your tests. Don't test anyone in public. I have waited on bunch of such couple; it is so uncomfortable.
Where did you eat' a lot of food' and 'got a bottle' for $100? I would have handed my card long ago if the bill was so small. You are the awkward one with mentioning $100 when it's nothing at your income level. Clearly it's something. You make women look crazy.
Had you brought up just the physical part, I'd be with you.

The total bill was $100 and it was a very small amount to even split, in my opinion . I did get a slight vibe he was hesitant to hand over his card waiting for my reaction as well. So when I offered to split before heading to bathroom to which he quickly agreed and even praised me.

Yes, I think a man should have already actively waived the waiter and handed over his card just saying “no worries, it’s on me”. Particular if the date was with lots of kissing and he enjoyed it as much as he had claimed

I won’t be seeing him again. Thanks everyone. It was nothing to talk about check but says a lot about mismatched cultures and his pretend vigorous generosity ordering for me.

I don’t test guys like this. But I think if your intuition is giving you these vibes, then just pass. The first date is usually when a guy wants to impress you. If he didn’t even take the smallest chance to do that my take would be that he isn’t very invested or he’s too risk averse when it comes to investing to make dating work. You need to invest and test for a relationship to move forward.