Do you regret not having that additional kid?

[Anonymous]

That’s what grandkids are for

[Anonymous]

I never for one second considered having a third when I was younger (and I had both kids in my 20s). I also haven't had a moment of regret about it since becoming an empty nester. DH was on board - we both knew our limits and did not want to be outnumbered.

I'm the youngest of 3 and DH is the youngest of 4. I think we both kind of felt like we were an afterthought at times when we were growing up.

[Anonymous]

Have one 'good one' and never thought about having more. If she doesn't have a kid, that's fine by me. I'm not pining for grandkids.

[Anonymous]

I am an only and always wanted a big family. I wanted 4 and we settle at 3. I am so glad. I can’t imagine my life without my 3rd

[Anonymous]

I have 2, but only 1 with my husband. We went for #3 and it turned into 3 years of heartbreak. I can't say that it was worth it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m so glad I stopped at 2. The teen years were awful and to have to deal with that for years and years with multiple kids would have broken me.

This


But sometimes I wish I had a 3rd or 4th now that my kids are mid 20s and doing well.

[Anonymous]

I have one and for a variety of reasons never tried for a second. Never regretted it for one second.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely not!

[Anonymous]

I wanted a 4th but we decided to leave it to fate. I didn’t get pregnant and one day woke up and realized I was simply too old to keep contemplating it. I think a 4th would have been a fantastic addition but when I get wistful remind myself that I would have had less time and energy to give. Now that we are nearing an empty nest and have had 2 in college I realize my kids would have had more options if the money had been split two ways instead of three and far fewer if it had been split between four.

[Anonymous]

I applaud PP for actually writing the above…nobody on DCUM will admit they wish they had fewer kids unless the 3rd ended up a career criminal (again, not the demographic).

You can only go by experiences of adults that came from families of 3+ and how it impacted their upbringing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I applaud PP for actually writing the above…nobody on DCUM will admit they wish they had fewer kids unless the 3rd ended up a career criminal (again, not the demographic).

You can only go by experiences of adults that came from families of 3+ and how it impacted their upbringing.

One of 4 here. All four of us are parents of onlies. Make of that what you will.

[Anonymous]

We were stretched with two. Three would have been our undoing.

[Anonymous]

I wanted 3, but we stopped at 2. My two are teens and I love our family dynamic. I feel like we can give enough to both of them. No regrets.

[Anonymous]

I do sometimes but in an idealized way. Yes, it could have worked out great and that would have been wonderful to have. But I’ve also seen some people close to me struggle mightily because of third kids “gone wrong” (multiples, which run in my family, and severe special needs) and I’m already stretched thin (financially, mentally, time wise) with my two teens. I’m grateful about the things we can provide them that would be hard to give with a third in the mix. I’d be lying to say I’m not wistful but I know we had good reasons to make the decision we made.

If I make it to 65 with robust retirement savings and two kids who have settled down far from home I might come back with a different take, but right now at 45 staring down college costs and wishing I could retire tomorrow already, it’s relatively easy to tell myself we made the right choice.

[Anonymous]

Two just out of college and very much wish - for them and for us - that we had a third. I have long felt we have so much more room in our hearts and lives (not so much our wallet which was the decider) for another. Now that I see them navigating adult life, I really wish they had a buffer of another sibling in their relationship.