At what point do you or will you make your kids leave home

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a continental European, I think it's normal to live with your parents in your 20s, especially if you are in college and grad school - most campuses do not offer dorms, and renting rooms is expensive, so if you live within commuting distance to school, you stay home. This is what my cousins, friends and I did, except the ones who came from the countryside and were forced to rent. One acquaintance rented in a nun's convent, apparently they let rooms to young women. Then I came to the US for grad school with my boyfriend, now husband.

Lots of young adults in Europe and Asia live with their parents after university until they can afford a home, because real estate is so expensive there compared to income.

This is perhaps not the norm in this country, but it may soon be, at least in high COL areas of the US.

100% Some of you all need to check your expectations. It's expensive and difficult for these "kids" coming out of college.

Europe is quite different in terms of the job market. Read the WSJ article about tourists in Lisbon and AirBnBs driving up rental markets.

College grads are paid shockingly little. Like 1500 -2000 Euros per month, of which 80% or more would get eaten up by just rental costs.

Now, there is no student debt and no healthcare costs…but it’s crazy how low wages are for jobs in the US that pay 3x the equivalent in Europe.

Ironically, the same reason you have many Americans retiring to Portugal because overall costs are low.

The costs are not THAT low in Portugal and they are considerably higher in other EU countries. Further, many college grads here are not making that high of salaries coming out of school and have lots of debt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a continental European, I think it's normal to live with your parents in your 20s, especially if you are in college and grad school - most campuses do not offer dorms, and renting rooms is expensive, so if you live within commuting distance to school, you stay home. This is what my cousins, friends and I did, except the ones who came from the countryside and were forced to rent. One acquaintance rented in a nun's convent, apparently they let rooms to young women. Then I came to the US for grad school with my boyfriend, now husband.

Lots of young adults in Europe and Asia live with their parents after university until they can afford a home, because real estate is so expensive there compared to income.

This is perhaps not the norm in this country, but it may soon be, at least in high COL areas of the US.

100% Some of you all need to check your expectations. It's expensive and difficult for these "kids" coming out of college.

Quite frankly, it is the smart financial choice for most "kids". Live at home for 1-2 years and save a good portion or pay off student loans. If you get along with your parents and your parents treat you as the adult you are it can be a nice time

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find the American rush to kick your kids out of the house at 18 so strange. I moved out when I married at 26. And my brother moved out when he joined the air force at 23. I'm now 35 and my parents still keep a room for both of us, and remind me all the time that I'm always welcome to come home. My husband's parents have a similar attitude, and I plan to do the same for my own kids. When our parents get older and they need somewhere to go, they will have a home with us as well. That's what being a family means.

I don't think of living alone as some right of passage that indicates you're now an adult. Living alone is expensive, and frankly a waste of money, until you have an actual need for the space (ie. A family of your own).

So, you attended college in your home town and lived with your parents while in college? Living alone is a privilege. It is expensive, but totally worth it. My daughter lives along now in DC, even though we have a big house in DC suburbs. I am happy she is doing this now, before she has to share house with husband and kids. This time to spend alone is precious and I think every young person should have it if they can afford it.

Key is "if they can afford it". Hint: it can still happen when they are 25 and have lived at home for 3 years after graduating college. But at this point, they might have $30-40K saved or fully paid off their $50K of student loans, etc. They are in a much better position for the rest of their life and "all they gave up is a few more years of living as an adult with parents". If you get along with your family and they treat you as an adult why wouldn't you do it?

[Anonymous]

Never

[Anonymous]

I will probably urge them to move out by 25, if they haven’t already. It takes time to land on your feet, but my hope is my kids don’t settle for this suburban town we are in. There are no job opportunities where I am at. To thrive, you sometimes need to leave the nest.

For all of those talking about family compounds and multi-generational living, I think you’re romanticizing it. Yes, it’s economical. But it also causes divisions, resentment. My husband’s family has lived this way and it is not all roses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Never

Disagree. Should have them leave when they are not going to high school (and should be) or if don’t have actual full time annual employment or full time summer employment if in college. Immediate exit if no school/no job. If kid wants to be adult, adults have jobs. It does not help kids for them to think realistic to have no job and sit at home watching tv and playing video games while someone else pays bills, buys groceries, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I will probably urge them to move out by 25, if they haven’t already. It takes time to land on your feet, but my hope is my kids don’t settle for this suburban town we are in. There are no job opportunities where I am at. To thrive, you sometimes need to leave the nest.

For all of those talking about family compounds and multi-generational living, I think you’re romanticizing it. Yes, it’s economical. But it also causes divisions, resentment. My husband’s family has lived this way and it is not all roses.

We live in a top 20 city (for population) and plenty of jobs. I wouldn't want my kid to live at home for ever, but 1-3 years after college to save money is an excellent idea.

[Anonymous]

Like most things in life, there's no one solution that's right for everyone . . . I'm open to it as long as we get along and it doesn't feel like arrested development. It's so expensive here.

[Anonymous]

I'm exploring nudging them out so that they have a taste of the real world. If they find they cannot support themselves even after working full time and finding roommates or decide to change course and go to community college, they can come back home while we work on Plan B. Right now they are living at home not doing much of anything. There are circumstances that I'm not going to go into right now that complicate the situation, but I think there will be talks soon of an end to the status quo.