If your kid is not interested in Ivys or top 20

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s a defense mechanism. If I reject these schools first, they can’t reject me. I have seen parents say all kinds of cra@p when their kid had zero chance or the stats for a T10 or even T20.

DD has an uw 4.0, as many APs as her school will permit, and a 1500+ SAT. She has zero chance at a T10/T20 because she’s a white girl from the DMV, full-pay but not donor class, non-athlete, non-legacy. The door was closed before she was born by forces over which she has no control. Sure it’s a defense mechanism. I am attempting to defend my child against the belief, prevalent in Ivy admissions offices, that her race, gender, class, and hometown make her worthless.

My unhooked, full pay white kid from the DMV hit in two this round. Also, several T-10-20s.

You would be surprised. I was.

[Anonymous]

^ got in

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s a defense mechanism. If I reject these schools first, they can’t reject me. I have seen parents say all kinds of cra@p when their kid had zero chance or the stats for a T10 or even T20.

This.

[Anonymous]

The antisemitic Ivies have shown who they really are over the past year. Roll Tide!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s a defense mechanism. If I reject these schools first, they can’t reject me. I have seen parents say all kinds of cra@p when their kid had zero chance or the stats for a T10 or even T20.

Is it really that difficult to believe that a good student may actually want to go to a college besides the Ivies?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Whatever works for your child.

My child liked small schools and will be attending a school of just 1200 students. It had everything SHE wanted.

After her big public high school experience, I think this will be a nice change for her.

She applied to schools of anywhere from 600 students to 20k+. But as I said, she was most comfortable in the smaller settings.

I attended a school of 3600 students, yet also had division 1 sports. I had a great 4 years. I had smaller classes, a campus just big enough where I didn’t know everyone.

I am curious...this sounds like a Davidson or University of Richmond...is there are a sports culture at this school? Meaning, do many students attend the football, basketball and other games even though for the most part they aren't ever playing Duke in basketball (maybe Davidson does?) or Michigan in football or seriously competing for the National title?

Trying to figure out which schools have good spirit vs. other schools where 90% of the kids don't even know a football game or basketball game is even happening if you ask while the actual game is happening.

Well, the school has increased in size since I attended in the 90s. And we DID play Duke in all sports as we were an ACC school and beat them from time to time. Had a number 1 pick in the NBA draft who went on the play for almost 20 years.

Go Deacs

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Whatever works for your child.

My child liked small schools and will be attending a school of just 1200 students. It had everything SHE wanted.

After her big public high school experience, I think this will be a nice change for her.

She applied to schools of anywhere from 600 students to 20k+. But as I said, she was most comfortable in the smaller settings.

I attended a school of 3600 students, yet also had division 1 sports. I had a great 4 years. I had smaller classes, a campus just big enough where I didn’t know everyone.

I am curious...this sounds like a Davidson or University of Richmond...is there are a sports culture at this school? Meaning, do many students attend the football, basketball and other games even though for the most part they aren't ever playing Duke in basketball (maybe Davidson does?) or Michigan in football or seriously competing for the National title?

Trying to figure out which schools have good spirit vs. other schools where 90% of the kids don't even know a football game or basketball game is even happening if you ask while the actual game is happening.

Well, the school has increased in size since I attended in the 90s. And we DID play Duke in all sports as we were an ACC school and beat them from time to time. Had a number 1 pick in the NBA draft who went on the play for almost 20 years.

Go Deacs

Well, OK...we know Wake Forest or any ACC school is a different kind of school compared to Richmond or Davidson with respect to sports. It almost doesn't matter how large the school is if they play in a Power 5 conference.

I figured it was like a Richmond because that is how big they are now (i.e., around 3500 students) or a similar non-Power 5 D1 smallish school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Whatever works for your child.

My child liked small schools and will be attending a school of just 1200 students. It had everything SHE wanted.

After her big public high school experience, I think this will be a nice change for her.

She applied to schools of anywhere from 600 students to 20k+. But as I said, she was most comfortable in the smaller settings.

I attended a school of 3600 students, yet also had division 1 sports. I had a great 4 years. I had smaller classes, a campus just big enough where I didn’t know everyone.

I am curious...this sounds like a Davidson or University of Richmond...is there are a sports culture at this school? Meaning, do many students attend the football, basketball and other games even though for the most part they aren't ever playing Duke in basketball (maybe Davidson does?) or Michigan in football or seriously competing for the National title?

Trying to figure out which schools have good spirit vs. other schools where 90% of the kids don't even know a football game or basketball game is even happening if you ask while the actual game is happening.

Well, the school has increased in size since I attended in the 90s. And we DID play Duke in all sports as we were an ACC school and beat them from time to time. Had a number 1 pick in the NBA draft who went on the play for almost 20 years.

Go Deacs

Well, OK...we know Wake Forest or any ACC school is a different kind of school compared to Richmond or Davidson with respect to sports. It almost doesn't matter how large the school is if they play in a Power 5 conference.

I figured it was like a Richmond because that is how big they are now (i.e., around 3500 students) or a similar non-Power 5 D1 smallish school.

I was just sharing that I liked the school size and also got to experience good sports. I wasn't trying to confuse anyone or anything. People like different schools for different reasons. I would NOT have enjoyed the huge state schools, and also wasn't a huge fan of schools the size of my HS (1K or so) There was something cozy about my school - it was the Goldilocks size for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s a defense mechanism. If I reject these schools first, they can’t reject me. I have seen parents say all kinds of cra@p when their kid had zero chance or the stats for a T10 or even T20.

DD has an uw 4.0, as many APs as her school will permit, and a 1500+ SAT. She has zero chance at a T10/T20 because she’s a white girl from the DMV, full-pay but not donor class, non-athlete, non-legacy. The door was closed before she was born by forces over which she has no control. Sure it’s a defense mechanism. I am attempting to defend my child against the belief, prevalent in Ivy admissions offices, that her race, gender, class, and hometown make her worthless.

That was more likely to be the case a few years ago when all schools were TO or blind, SCOTUS hadn’t reversed affirmative action, and fewer schools had dropped legacy considerations. I think your daughter absolutely has a chance, esp if including T20 LACs. Don’t underestimate the value of strong letters, an essay that stands out, and an interesting summer project or job. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to a large rah rah state school for undergrad (UCLA) and then a smaller school for grad (Columbia). I have told my DCs that based on my experience and my sister’s (who went to Michigan and then MIT) that I strongly suggest they consider a private school as neither of us had a great experience at the publics (enormous classes, cog in the wheel, no one cares, etc).

But isn't that the point? Do you need hand holding in college?

DP. Having attended both a smaller private university and a very large state school, there is quite a gap between "hand holding" and "not a completely anonymous cog in the wheel." I had a great experience at the large state university I attended, but dealing with the Admin there was like dealing with the DC DMV. Not only were they not going to do any "hand holding," they weren't going to go out of their way to do their job, either. At the smaller private, you still needed to advocate for yourself, but if you did, there was generally someone who would try to help you solve your problem. I guess you could say learning to navigate the DC DMV is a life skill, but I've had plenty of opportunities to experience that frustration, and I do not need to pay for the privilege.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to a large rah rah state school for undergrad (UCLA) and then a smaller school for grad (Columbia). I have told my DCs that based on my experience and my sister’s (who went to Michigan and then MIT) that I strongly suggest they consider a private school as neither of us had a great experience at the publics (enormous classes, cog in the wheel, no one cares, etc).

But isn't that the point? Do you need hand holding in college?

DP. Having attended both a smaller private university and a very large state school, there is quite a gap between "hand holding" and "not a completely anonymous cog in the wheel." I had a great experience at the large state university I attended, but dealing with the Admin there was like dealing with the DC DMV. Not only were they not going to do any "hand holding," they weren't going to go out of their way to do their job, either. At the smaller private, you still needed to advocate for yourself, but if you did, there was generally someone who would try to help you solve your problem. I guess you could say learning to navigate the DC DMV is a life skill, but I've had plenty of opportunities to experience that frustration, and I do not need to pay for the privilege.

Yep, it's an ignorant remark. There is NO HAND-HOLDING at any college in the US.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s a defense mechanism. If I reject these schools first, they can’t reject me. I have seen parents say all kinds of cra@p when their kid had zero chance or the stats for a T10 or even T20.

Is it really that difficult to believe that a good student may actually want to go to a college besides the Ivies?!

On DCUM this is an impossibility.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s a defense mechanism. If I reject these schools first, they can’t reject me. I have seen parents say all kinds of cra@p when their kid had zero chance or the stats for a T10 or even T20.

DD has an uw 4.0, as many APs as her school will permit, and a 1500+ SAT. She has zero chance at a T10/T20 because she’s a white girl from the DMV, full-pay but not donor class, non-athlete, non-legacy. The door was closed before she was born by forces over which she has no control. Sure it’s a defense mechanism. I am attempting to defend my child against the belief, prevalent in Ivy admissions offices, that her race, gender, class, and hometown make her worthless.

Your DD sounds great and at least has a shot at T20 schools. If she's interested in such schools, she should apply. I speak from experience as my own unhooked DD got an Ivy and Ivy+ (but chose a SLAC because not everyone is as obsessed with prestige as DCUM).

But there's no need for the hyperbole about "worthlessness", which has a strong undercurrent of entitlement to it. And, honesty, your daughter will be completely fine even if she ends up having to go to an excellent school outside the T20.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s a defense mechanism. If I reject these schools first, they can’t reject me. I have seen parents say all kinds of cra@p when their kid had zero chance or the stats for a T10 or even T20.

DD has an uw 4.0, as many APs as her school will permit, and a 1500+ SAT. She has zero chance at a T10/T20 because she’s a white girl from the DMV, full-pay but not donor class, non-athlete, non-legacy. The door was closed before she was born by forces over which she has no control. Sure it’s a defense mechanism. I am attempting to defend my child against the belief, prevalent in Ivy admissions offices, that her race, gender, class, and hometown make her worthless.

That was more likely to be the case a few years ago when all schools were TO or blind, SCOTUS hadn’t reversed affirmative action, and fewer schools had dropped legacy considerations. I think your daughter absolutely has a chance, esp if including T20 LACs. Don’t underestimate the value of strong letters, an essay that stands out, and an interesting summer project or job. Good luck!

Indeed the worst of the unhooked white or asian with top everything getting shut out was in 2023: supreme court decision had happened but they still could use race that year thus they all touted breaking records for diversity, and everything was still TO. C/o 2024 was better for whites and asians compared to 2023. It is still the case that females are overrepresented in the applicant pool and the most elite schools aim to have equal males, so female sex remains a negative at almost all elites. That being said, we know a couple of unhooked white female off-the-chart superstars from DMV and greater area who got into three or more T10s (2022 and 2023) so it was possible even in the worst years. Do not give up hope, especially if OP is truly the standout kid at their HS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is a lot to be said for smaller colleges, but an Ivy? No. Students are too handpicked. The culture is too manufactured, like products in a gift shop. The collective intensity, anxiety and insecurity of students is too much.

So to answer your question, if your kid is interested is a big public flagship - wonderful. Smart kid.

You clearly do not have a kid at an ivy. The students are some of the most down to earth, real, inquisitive humans mine says they have ever met (and that is coming from a top private school which had a lot of cookie-cutter UMC kids most of whom were bright but not truly intellectual). Ivy students on average happen to be very driven but in a collaborative way, and also love to give back to their community and have fun on the weekends.
We know just as many anxious students at William&Mary and UVA as we do at the ivy. Anxiety and insecurity are common in all top schools not just ivies, and in fact in many ways there is less anxiety at the ivy once they are past freshman fall and realize that they do not have to gun it out to be at the top to get into a good law or med school.