Do you use trackers with your college kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My family shares our locations with each other on Google Maps because we don’t see it as a big deal. We’re a family.

What does that have to do with it? Families have never tracked each other until a decade ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My family shares our locations with each other on Google Maps because we don’t see it as a big deal. We’re a family.

What does that have to do with it? Families have never tracked each other until a decade ago.

I agree. Seriously messed up to think that putting trackers on each other is part of what being a family means.

[Anonymous]

I don’t even track my high schoolers or husband. Technically, I can track my kids on Find my IPhone if there’s an emergency, but I have only looked at it 2-3x in the last couple of years. We text each other to share our whereabouts if need be. Works well without the feeling that you’re “spying.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My family shares our locations with each other on Google Maps because we don’t see it as a big deal. We’re a family.

What does that have to do with it? Families have never tracked each other until a decade ago.

I agree. Seriously messed up to think that putting trackers on each other is part of what being a family means.

It’s modern anxiety. Once you start tracking you feel unsafe if you stop - like driving a car without a seatbelt, I imagine. Which is a ridiculous comparison, but that seems to be the mindset. People often just claim it’s convenient and “not a big deal!” - which I don’t know about. My sister tracks her son and then will get upset at his whereabouts, so it absolutely causes issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t even track my high schoolers or husband. Technically, I can track my kids on Find my IPhone if there’s an emergency, but I have only looked at it 2-3x in the last couple of years. We text each other to share our whereabouts if need be. Works well without the feeling that you’re “spying.”

Isn't that what people are talking about? You are tracking them.

[Anonymous]

Our family— 2 parents, 2 college kids— all have Find My Phone activated. My kids are allowed to turn it off when they are at school. But, I don’t think they ever have.

That said, my promise to them— which I have kept— is that I won’t stalk them. So, I don’t check where they are unless there is a good reason. Like, once DD forgot to text when she got back to school and I checked to see that she was back safely rather than texting because her notifications were off and it was late at night.

But, I can go an entire semester and not check where they are. And I’m not sure what I’m going to see that can’t been unseen or is too intrusive. They spend the night in another dorm? Ok, they are in college. And I don’t have the class schedule memorized and have never checked to see if they are in class. If they aren’t, there isn’t much I can do anyway.

It’s actually more useful at home and I ask them to keep it on when they are home. I can check how far away they are from home when they are driving, etc. And it has useful when they study abroad, and text communication is tougher. I have an itinerary for DD studying in Eastern Europe this summer. But they are doing multiple side trips and the ability to know what country she is actually in is nice. And it was especially nice for safety when she did a week of solo travel before meeting up with her program. If she alone in a foreign country, knowing her location in case of emergency seems important. And when she was in transit to the program, having it was reassuring. Now that she’s with the program, I don’t expect to check much.

Also, my kids can track DH and I and we can track each other, but DH and I are honest with each other about where we are going. I can’t imagine he’d regularly track me. And I see no reason to track him unless I get a “driving in focus” message and I’m looking for an ETA for some reason. Plus, I don’t care if DH and my kids know where I am. I usually tell them before I leave the house.

I guess it depends on how you use it. It can be a useful tool you occasionally use for specific reasons. If you are regularly checking to see if your kid is in class or back in the dorm at midnight, I can see how it could make you nuts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t even track my high schoolers or husband. Technically, I can track my kids on Find my IPhone if there’s an emergency, but I have only looked at it 2-3x in the last couple of years. We text each other to share our whereabouts if need be. Works well without the feeling that you’re “spying.”

Isn't that what people are talking about? You are tracking them.

Aren’t we talking about the more pernicious type of “tracking” like using Life 360 or actively logging in to Find My IPhone see where a kid is? At the end of the day, everyone is tracked - but are you using it?

[Anonymous]

I agree that it's better to not give into temptation and track your college age kid, but what if that kid is going to school in a rural area?

[Anonymous]

I use Find My IPhone with my college student but only with his consent.

He’s still on the family phone plan so I explained how I would use this information and how often but I don’t check it obsessively.

These apps so easily encourage a lack of boundaries and I don’t want my college student to learn to be ok without normal healthy boundaries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My family shares our locations with each other on Google Maps because we don’t see it as a big deal. We’re a family.

Same here.

Same here.

I’m not constantly tracking my kids.

Sometimes it’s just to see how close they are to home and have dinner ready.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My family shares our locations with each other on Google Maps because we don’t see it as a big deal. We’re a family.

What does that have to do with it? Families have never tracked each other until a decade ago.

I agree. Seriously messed up to think that putting trackers on each other is part of what being a family means.

+1

[Anonymous]

Calling it trackers is weird. I connect locations with my husband college and high school kid.

I only use it to see if it’s probably good time to reach out- like are they at home or in class?

It’s not a big deal unless you have a controling family

[Anonymous]

I would never use a tracker on my kids. Unless there was a really good reason like mental illness, addiction, etc going on

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t even track my high schoolers or husband. Technically, I can track my kids on Find my IPhone if there’s an emergency, but I have only looked at it 2-3x in the last couple of years. We text each other to share our whereabouts if need be. Works well without the feeling that you’re “spying.”

Isn't that what people are talking about? You are tracking them.

Yes, this is what we are talking about, so PP is on Team Track.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would never use a tracker on my kids. Unless there was a really good reason like mental illness, addiction, etc going on

How about just so you can find their phone when they lose it or to find them if they go missing? This is a useful and totally innocuous modern technology.