Divorced childless friend putting down husbands

[Anonymous]

She sounds depressed and bitter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a childless divorced friend who often puts down the husbands of our friends. She will call them losers or tools and say she is so glad not to be stuck with a loser like Jack. She will say that she can’t imagine coparenting with her ex, John, to have to be in constant contact over the kids and have him be in her life forever. I’m not sure if she is genuinely happy not to be married or divorced sharing custody or she is just a hater. It is fine to be glad to no longer be married but I don’t think it is necessary to put down others’ husbands for no reason.

Why do you think she does this?

Are your friends complaining about their husbands?

My friend complains about her partner constantly. If I ask her if she can join me for something, she’ll sigh about how she can’t trust him to put their kids to bed and how useless he is. She complains about how much weight he’s gained, how he’s been unemployed for ten years, and how he hasn’t wanted sex since their seven year old was conceived. And yet she also complains that he won’t marry her.

I try to be supportive, but I have to be careful not to be too supportive because I’m single and if I suggest that her partner is any of the things she complains that he is, I’ll get accused of being a bitter spinster trying to tear down her relationship.

It’s a tough tightrope to manage.

I'd hardly call it a tightrope if you're on opposite platforms! You're a divorcee supporting a woman in a terrible relationship. Op's friend is a divorcee trashing normal relationships.

[Anonymous]

Women love to complain bitterly about their boyfriends and spouses, only to defend them vehemently and call their friends jealous if they dare be too supportive. You really can’t win. I won’t discuss relationships with most of my friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a childless divorced friend who often puts down the husbands of our friends. She will call them losers or tools and say she is so glad not to be stuck with a loser like Jack. She will say that she can’t imagine coparenting with her ex, John, to have to be in constant contact over the kids and have him be in her life forever. I’m not sure if she is genuinely happy not to be married or divorced sharing custody or she is just a hater. It is fine to be glad to no longer be married but I don’t think it is necessary to put down others’ husbands for no reason.

Why do you think she does this?

Are your friends complaining about their husbands?

My friend complains about her partner constantly. If I ask her if she can join me for something, she’ll sigh about how she can’t trust him to put their kids to bed and how useless he is. She complains about how much weight he’s gained, how he’s been unemployed for ten years, and how he hasn’t wanted sex since their seven year old was conceived. And yet she also complains that he won’t marry her.

I try to be supportive, but I have to be careful not to be too supportive because I’m single and if I suggest that her partner is any of the things she complains that he is, I’ll get accused of being a bitter spinster trying to tear down her relationship.

It’s a tough tightrope to manage.

I'd hardly call it a tightrope if you're on opposite platforms! You're a divorcee supporting a woman in a terrible relationship. Op's friend is a divorcee trashing normal relationships.

Why are you assuming that the women in these normal relationships aren’t complaining to OP’s friend about them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a childless divorced friend who often puts down the husbands of our friends. She will call them losers or tools and say she is so glad not to be stuck with a loser like Jack. She will say that she can’t imagine coparenting with her ex, John, to have to be in constant contact over the kids and have him be in her life forever. I’m not sure if she is genuinely happy not to be married or divorced sharing custody or she is just a hater. It is fine to be glad to no longer be married but I don’t think it is necessary to put down others’ husbands for no reason.

Why do you think she does this?

Are your friends complaining about their husbands?

My friend complains about her partner constantly. If I ask her if she can join me for something, she’ll sigh about how she can’t trust him to put their kids to bed and how useless he is. She complains about how much weight he’s gained, how he’s been unemployed for ten years, and how he hasn’t wanted sex since their seven year old was conceived. And yet she also complains that he won’t marry her.

I try to be supportive, but I have to be careful not to be too supportive because I’m single and if I suggest that her partner is any of the things she complains that he is, I’ll get accused of being a bitter spinster trying to tear down her relationship.

It’s a tough tightrope to manage.

I'd hardly call it a tightrope if you're on opposite platforms! You're a divorcee supporting a woman in a terrible relationship. Op's friend is a divorcee trashing normal relationships.

Why are you assuming that the women in these normal relationships aren’t complaining to OP’s friend about them?

OP here. I am sure there is some complaining. None of the men are abusive or cheaters. They just don’t meet my friend’s standard of men. At the same time, she is not dating these men.

My friend’s husband was actually fantastic. He just decided the marriage wasn’t working and wanted a divorce. No fighting. Just decided he wanted out. I’m sure it was difficult for my friend.