We don’t agree on moving

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don’t need to move at all for a second baby. You already have 1500 sq feet.

+1. Stay where you are. You don’t need 3 bedrooms for 2 small kids. They can share a room.

Interest rates are awful right now so it’s not a good time to buy a home. Paying 10k for a 3bd rental also seems like a bad idea, financially.

OP here. We will be spending $2-3mil on a home and it will equal out. I still think we are throwing our money away.

My husband likes the convenience of everything. We have a Target across the street, Whole Foods two blocks away, multiple restaurants with a mile radius, our nanny lives within walking distance. There’s an excellent daycare with a mile of us if we ever go that route.

Buying a house would mean a large commute, added expenses with outsourcing, and having to find a new nanny.

I still hate that we are throwing away so much money.

.

Personally I agree with you OP. It’s money down the drain, and a lot of money. You’re not building equity. I’d find a place of my own personally.

[Anonymous]

I think your living setup sounds great right now. That work space and gym space saves you and insane amount of commute time. I think you underestimate how much time it takes to get to everything in the suburbs. Getting in your car and driving to the gym both ways adds almost 30 minutes (total) to my workout. When there are small children at home that is a lot of time. Little things like that (grocery store, target) adds up.

I wonder if you can compromise with him. Say you’ll stay now but want to re-evaluate when the baby is out of your room.

I grew up in an apartment and it wasn’t a terrible life and it was not quite as nice as yours sounds. That said I do like having a backyard in the burbs as a mom, but I don’t think it’s a requirement.

[Anonymous]

What a wonderful set up. An elevator ride to playroom, pool, gym. Concierge to receive deliveries…no stolen Amazon boxes. Are there other young kids in the building? And how great to have a nanny so close. None of this will be replicated in a SFH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To be fair, it seems like this building fits your life style perfectly and two babies plus two jobs and a big home while he often travels, is a lot to chew. May be stay untill both kids can go to full time preschool and y'all have a better grasp on life. You don't want unnecessary strain on yourselves or on your marriage. So many couples mess up marriages trying to achieve every milestone before Jonses.

OP here. I do agree with this. Our life is easier now with less commute and near all amenities. We have a huge gym and pool that we unlimited free access to. Our nanny also works out after work.

I personally hate clutter and kids come with a lot of it. I just wish our unit was a little bigger.

Declutter, add more storage (under beds, verticle shelves, all tables with hidden storage) and organize smartly, may be pay for an extra parking space and park a cheap van you can use for storage.

OP here. We have maximized our storage. We don’t own a car because everything is walkable and we have a valet service for Uber.

Get rid of some stuff. Look into minimalism. This issue won't resolve with a larger space, you'll just fill it with more clutter and then want to move.

[Anonymous]

At the very least you should wait until you're actually pregnant.

Second babies don't always come easily and you may need more money than you thought to make that happen.

And sometimes second babies end up being twins and you might need different accommodations have different childcare needs and expenses, career adjustments if that happens.

[Anonymous]

Time efficiency is EXTREMELY important with the second baby. I would not move yet. And yes, second babies sometimes don't come easy even if the first one did. Purge your possessions and try to make it work.

[Anonymous]

Your husband is right - stay in the amenity rich building with young kids. Maintenance on a home is a total drag and you are already stretched for time with little kids.

I have friends living in Miami in a high rise rental with 3 kids. Their life is amazing and their building/neighborhood has SO MUCH to keep little kids entertained. Plus the gym at their building is basically like an Equinox, so he and his wife are always popping down to do a quick workout. Indoor and outdoor pools, multiple in door playrooms for kids, large common outdoor terrace, on site playground, multiple parks within walking distance, grocery store half a block away, etc. The only thing they use their car for is taking kids to Montessori preschool and Costco runs. They only need one car in Brickel. They upgraded to a 3BR while wife was pregnant with 3rd kid. Similar pricing - around $10k.

I also have two young kids. Super jealous of his lifestyle. We live in a rowhouse in DC and activities are a production with my kids. Going to the pool? Well need to pack up everything, drive there, unload, and then someone has a meltdown after 25 minutes. It would be so much easier to just pop down the elevator to the pool with my kids.

Tbh, your kids can manage sharing a room just fine.

[Anonymous]

So your amazing and amenity rich unit doesn't have a park/playground space in addition to all this other stuff? If so, no need for a yard. Ideally, live in a unit close to a public park so someone else does all the yard work.

If you're worried about commute and all that you could always buy a unit in a similar building. A condo wouldn't be my first choice but you guys seem to like it.

Finally, if you have the money to buy a 2-3 million house in cash forget about the equity and investment aspect. You guys are straight up rich, find the living arrangement that works best for you guys and just do that.

[Anonymous]

Given your cash position, why don’t you just buy a home right now and rent it out? You’ll want the home when the kids are bigger….thats when you actually need the space.

The upside to renting it out is that everything related to the house becomes a tax deduction against the rental income: all the interest, all the property taxes (no $10K SALT limit), and improvements to the property, landscaping, etc.

If the issue is that you’re worried about “throwing money away” and not building equity, then buy an investment property and have someone do it for you for the next 5-7 years.

You may look at $8K/month in rent as a “waste,” but what you are actually doing is buying time. And time is incredibly valuable and in short supply when you have young kids who are not self-sufficient and rely on you for entertainment.

My oldest is 4.5 and only now will he do an activity for 25-30 minutes by himself without needing me nearby. Before this? I needed to be actively engaged, ensuring he didn’t hurt himself, keeping him entertained, etc. It’s absolutely a huge drag on your personal time + running a home to have to be constantly engaged with your young kid. Anything you can do to buy yourself more time and minimize non-kid hassles and obligations is worth the price.

[Anonymous]

Don’t buy because you have FOMO. Sounds like the current place is working for you. Declutter, get good storage systems for your closets, and rent a basement storage unit/locker for suitcase, sports equipment, bikes, etc

[Anonymous]

Where do you live? Manhattan?

[Anonymous]

Stay where you are.

[Anonymous]

I haven't seen you discuss the impact of a commute if you buy a house. I don't know where you live and work, but do you agree on a neighborhood in which to purchase a single-family home? If so, what will your commutes look like then?

[Anonymous]

I know which building you are talking about. I have a friend that lives there. It would indeed be hard to leave. I would almost pick staying too. Maybe the children can go to private school eventually.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know which building you are talking about. I have a friend that lives there. It would indeed be hard to leave. I would almost pick staying too. Maybe the children can go to private school eventually.

Is this place in the DMV? If so, where?

Kinda want to rent out our house for a couple years and live in a nice amenity-filled building while kids are still young.