My boyfriend steals groceries

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He is 55, and from Maine, but we live in the DC suburbs now.

So he’s an aging hippie/communist type, then? Does he smoke a ton of pot too?

No! He’s a government lawyer! With a security clearance and everything. This is what makes it so baffling.

This makes it scarier. He believes he’s above it all because he th inks he can negotiate / network his way out of it.

Without trying to sound hyperbolic - That will apply to what he does to you one day. That will be anything from
You saying no to sex after childbirth to the day he hits you. He honestly doesn’t believe the rules apply to him, or that they don’t have to apply to him.

[Anonymous]

Honestly though, OP, why do you stand by while he does this? What’s your story?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd break up with your boyfriend. Tell him that 75-100% of women break up with thieves and criminals.

Absolute+1

[Anonymous]

The fact that he feels no shame makes it even worse. He sounds so entitled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Whenever he goes to the self check out, he only rings up about 75% of his cart. He says that the store assumes people are stealing and already bake that into the price. He says most men do this.

I am a rule follower and am horrified by this behavior, and terrified he’s going to get arrested.

Do men really steal from the self check out?

And no, he’s not that poor. This isn’t an Aladdin situation.

Do you have poor morals too? Why are you with this thief?

[Anonymous]

What others ways is he basically the worst?

[Anonymous]

If he does this he probably does other illegal things but you may not know what they are yet.

I knew someone who stole from supermarkets. Later he worked in a hotel and added a tip onto a bill, got caught and fired.

Criminals don't have to be showy or do grand things to be breaking the law and people start small, take little risks, get bolder and do more as they get away with more.

Also, it doesn't matter if he's a lawyer. People from all walks of life break the law. It's a character defect and can be found in any social group, it just manifests in different forms. It's simply dishonesty.

[Anonymous]

I’d give the store manager his picture so he could be arrested the next time he shops. And I’d dump him.

[Anonymous]

This is the kind of person who will get a credit card in your name and run up debts.

What attracted you to him in the first place?

[Anonymous]

lol pretty sure he's got more exciting news for you, OP.

[Anonymous]

I hope most people don't do this, but I would break up with him immediately.

[Anonymous]

There are more people who think this way than you might imagine. It’s probably best to steer clear of them.

But no, it’s certainly not normal.

[Anonymous]

I'm a guy that does most of the family shopping. I would never do this. In fact, I'm the guy that gets out to the car and if while loading my car, I find an item I didn't pay for, I walk back into the store to customer service and pay for the item. I also know several other friends who do some or most of the family shopping and I can't think of a one that I think would be likely to do this. So, no, "most" men don't do this, IME.

I live in the suburbs and think that this is more common in urban denser areas than in suburbia. I think the shoplifting rates are higher in urban areas than suburban areas.

[Anonymous]

Did he have some “Beans of Egypt, Maine” -style ultrahardscrabble upbringing?

On the other hand I know a descendant of a robber baron who would cheat and only ever buy kids’ movie theater tickets at the kiosk for himself and his family. As a PP said, genuine cheap AF New Englander

[Anonymous]

Moral compass is off center. If he steals he lies. Don’t date a liar.