DH furious that we texted him during a job interview

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to stop expecting him to answer during the work day. He needs to learn to silcens/DND his phone

Both of these.

+1
Nothing is that important that it can’t wait.
And he’s only mad bc the texts and pings kept coming and he would not have known that if he had silenced or turned off his phone.
Both of you are stressed/mad at the circumstances, but taking it out in each other.

Finally—the FU text is the thing that would have me upset. But we just don’t speak to each other that way.
If my DH did that—it would be hard to recover for me. This type of response shows lack of respect and lack of impulse control.
He could have just neglected to respond to your reminder that there were two more forms. No need to escalate the vitriol through direct attack expletives.

[Anonymous]

I can see why he's angry - it's coming from stress that this impacted his interview.

Both adults are at fault here. The family should learn not to do things at the last minute, ADHD-fashion. And he should know to silence his darn phone!!!

Wait until he calms down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to stop expecting him to answer during the work day. He needs to learn to silcens/DND his phone

Both of these.

+1
Nothing is that important that it can’t wait.
And he’s only mad bc the texts and pings kept coming and he would not have known that if he had silenced or turned off his phone.
Both of you are stressed/mad at the circumstances, but taking it out in each other.

Finally—the FU text is the thing that would have me upset. But we just don’t speak to each other that way.
If my DH did that—it would be hard to recover for me. This type of response shows lack of respect and lack of impulse control.
He could have just neglected to respond to your reminder that there were two more forms. No need to escalate the vitriol through direct attack expletives.

+1

OP, is his using FU at you something he does at other times? Or a huge outlier?

[Anonymous]

Do your taxes over the weekend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First off, who actually waits to file their taxes until 4/15?

Second, what would the doctor’s office have done if you hadn’t answered your phone? They can’t literally expect you to be able to sign something that exact moment in the middle of the workday. I’d find a new dr if they were that pushy about it and couldn’t wait for a call back.

Third, your DH needs to learn to silence his phone for anything important.

You both are terrible at planning ahead.

Literally almost everyone.

Yep. We filed over the weekend.

[Anonymous]

None of this is as important to long term family welfare as him getting a promotion.

[Anonymous]

Why is your daughter texting you and your DH during work hours? Unless she’s stranded somewhere, what news can’t wait until she sees you both at home?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You both are immature.

This and I am guy. He could turn his phone off or silence everything. His choice. Choices have consequences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is your daughter texting you and your DH during work hours? Unless she’s stranded somewhere, what news can’t wait until she sees you both at home?

Not OP, but -- Texting behavior and what's acceptable differs greatly from family to family, and differs greatly between people in different types of jobs etc; I think the DD isn't part of the issue here. In some families the parents would be upset or mad if a kid didn't text with news that family deemed important. DD's texting didn't start this mess and she only added to the stress inadvertently because dad can't turn off his phone.

It's far more relevant to the parents' fight that the DH didn't think to turn off or DND his phone if the interview was THAT important, and that OP was panic-texting about family business stuff and demanding signatures while he was in an interview.

[Anonymous]

So if his phone was on DND or silence like you suggest, he wouldn't have gotten the call to sign the docs anyways.

What kind of adult cant esign docs on their own?

[Anonymous]

Did your DH actually text “FU”? I’d divorce someone who talked to me like that. Clearly he doesn’t like you anymore.

[Anonymous]

He should have turned his phone off before the interview. And since he didn't, he should have apologized and turned it off after the first audible notifcation.

On the other hand, both of you are at work and should be working Bombarding him with personal texts and tasks during the work day is just wrong. I would be furious if my husband expected me to be at his beck and call all day to do whatever personal task he wanted done at that moment. It can wait until you are home. If it is late, then it was left too long and is late.

Both you and your daughter need to respect the work day. And given you have a job, you should be working too.

And I would be annoyed he hadn't listened when I told him I had an interview and dint' even know it was happening.

[Anonymous]

You both sound annoying and disorganized.

[Anonymous]

If he knows that you’re the type to text him a million times with insignificant crap through the workday then he should know to permanently have you on silent on his phone every workday. Even without it being an interview!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would be furious with you as well.

If I'm not answering the first text. STOP FREAKING TEXTING, and for the love of god do not call.

I have my phone on do not disturb, but if you call twice, and are a favorite (husband/teens) it will go through. If it's not an emergency, and to be clear your examples were not, I will call or text back when I can.

I would have texted, STOP F'ING MESSAGING ME, I'M IN AN INTERVIEW/MEETING/etc

+1. I think that’s the default setting on an iPhone—DND has a failsafe for if things are truly an emergency. OP’s double/triple taps were very much not an emergency.

You’re both TAH. Kiss and make up.