Will a non "gunner" kid find their people at the Ivies in 2024?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:My kid is really enjoying Brown. Deliberately chose schools that embraced creativity and weren't grinds. Of course, everyone there is a super high achiever, but there isn't the pressure to outdo everyone else. In math, kids help each other on problem sets. In arts, they support each other. Nice change if pace from her magnet grind.

Friend similarly enjoyed Yale, but they seem to have more airs/ego (could have been there pre-Yale, but was very apparent after a few years there) than my kid's friends at Brown do. Friend at Harvard turned into a total snob. Between that a kid who moaned about how hyper competitive everyone was at H, mine crossed that one off her list.

Choose a few to visit. I'd try Yale, Brown and Dartmouth.

You’re trying too hard, Brown Mom.

At what? Just sharing my kid's experience with her school and a few others.

You aren’t sharing. You’re promoting, and not very well since it’s so transparent.

We get it, Brown kids are cool (though you have to say every time they are “super high achievers,” in case someone thinks maybe they aren’t quite the same caliber as at some other schools) and kids at Harvard and Yale aren’t.

Yikes, you've got a chip on your shoulder. Brown doesn't need my (or anyone's) promotion. Just sharing an experience. Mentioned the achiever part because students do have drive and are not slackers in case "creative" was misinterpreted as this board wants to do. Also, I only shared once.

Eat something. You'll feel better.

I can assure you I’ve no chip on my shoulder when it comes to Brown. You’re just boring and repetitive. If Brown students are indeed creative, there’s clearly at least one instance where it wasn’t inherited.

K. Talk about boring and repetitive.
PP posted once. Sounds like sour grapes from this person.

+1

What a tool. Definitely didn’t go to Brown.

PP posts the same spiel about Brown regularly. Boring cheerleader mom.

That doesn’t excuse your behavior. She likes Brown. Why does that trigger you so much?

[Anonymous]

No - he will have a terrible time

[Anonymous]

Knowing your son as personally as I do - I think he will not be able to find his way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thoughts on this?

My junior son is at a prep school and he's top 3 in the class (which we learned this week). Historically ('23 and '24 included) kids with his grades, from his school have a good shot (unhooked) at the Ivies. We met with college counseling this past week and they're enthusiastic about his chances (should he apply which they recommend he does) given the pattern of admits from his school. We've only toured other schools--mostly true safeties because that was what the school recommended last spring ("fall in love with your safeties").

My son gave this some thought and his comment was "but would I have fun at Yale?" (he inserted the name of a random Ivy). Code for "will I find my people?"

I've been wondering, do kids have fun at Yale in 2024? And in particular do kids who are smart and have done everything right in school (challenging classes, very high grades) but are just regular kids fit in? He is not a gunner. He does not have a resume that rivals that of an adult (no international math competitions or NIH research or business making millions or non-profit reaching thousands.) He has neither done these things, nor have I done them for him. He has not grown up in a gunner household, he has not played any admissions game (nor had it played for him). He is just a smart kid who has performed well at a challenging school. Outside of school he is a regular kid. He likes sports and girls and You Tube and laughing. He really enjoys history, is excellent at it and will likely study it in college but he's not reading it outside of class (nor does he claim to.)

Thoughts on how a kid like this (there have to be more like him who get into an Ivy without being a gunner) fit in?
Or what the actual culture is at these schools in 2024?
Anyone with kids there who can share?
Thank you!

Your kid doesn’t really sound like Ivy material. Aim one rung below - Duke, UVA, Vanderbilt, Emory, Wash U.

[Anonymous]

^ Oh FFS. 🙄

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^ Oh FFS. 🙄

Sorry but it’s true. You can’t raise your kid to be aggressively “regular” and then, if unhooked but smart, expect him to stand out as more qualified than the other Ivy applicants, many of whom will bring something extra to the table. That might have worked a generation and an half ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thoughts on this?

My junior son is at a prep school and he's top 3 in the class (which we learned this week). Historically ('23 and '24 included) kids with his grades, from his school have a good shot (unhooked) at the Ivies. We met with college counseling this past week and they're enthusiastic about his chances (should he apply which they recommend he does) given the pattern of admits from his school. We've only toured other schools--mostly true safeties because that was what the school recommended last spring ("fall in love with your safeties").

My son gave this some thought and his comment was "but would I have fun at Yale?" (he inserted the name of a random Ivy). Code for "will I find my people?"

I've been wondering, do kids have fun at Yale in 2024? And in particular do kids who are smart and have done everything right in school (challenging classes, very high grades) but are just regular kids fit in? He is not a gunner. He does not have a resume that rivals that of an adult (no international math competitions or NIH research or business making millions or non-profit reaching thousands.) He has neither done these things, nor have I done them for him. He has not grown up in a gunner household, he has not played any admissions game (nor had it played for him). He is just a smart kid who has performed well at a challenging school. Outside of school he is a regular kid. He likes sports and girls and You Tube and laughing. He really enjoys history, is excellent at it and will likely study it in college but he's not reading it outside of class (nor does he claim to.)

Thoughts on how a kid like this (there have to be more like him who get into an Ivy without being a gunner) fit in?
Or what the actual culture is at these schools in 2024?
Anyone with kids there who can share?
Thank you!



OP - your son sounds lovely. Just wanted to say that!

[Anonymous]

I don't know how you define gunner.

If he wants to work at a hedge fund or banking or consulting as a history major, he will have to be a "gunner" in order to get those jobs. Honestly, hedge fund is likely off the table since they want kids that can do advanced Math...so unless your kid is double-majoring in Math, probably not an option.

If your kid wants to get a PhD at the most prestigious grad programs (and get a stipend), he will have to be gunner but in a different way from the career gunners.

The kids that aren't gunners are the kids that become fodder for DCUM...complain about how they went to Princeton or Harvard but didn't amount to much.

Unless your kid comes from family money / connections, you won't get many stories of how the plum job or grad program just fell into the kid's lap because they attended Yale.