Will a non "gunner" kid find their people at the Ivies in 2024?
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Anonymous
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Thoughts on this?
My junior son is at a prep school and he's top 3 in the class (which we learned this week). Historically ('23 and '24 included) kids with his grades, from his school have a good shot (unhooked) at the Ivies. We met with college counseling this past week and they're enthusiastic about his chances (should he apply which they recommend he does) given the pattern of admits from his school. We've only toured other schools--mostly true safeties because that was what the school recommended last spring ("fall in love with your safeties"). My son gave this some thought and his comment was "but would I have fun at Yale?" (he inserted the name of a random Ivy). Code for "will I find my people?" I've been wondering, do kids have fun at Yale in 2024? And in particular do kids who are smart and have done everything right in school (challenging classes, very high grades) but are just regular kids fit in? He is not a gunner. He does not have a resume that rivals that of an adult (no international math competitions or NIH research or business making millions or non-profit reaching thousands.) He has neither done these things, nor have I done them for him. He has not grown up in a gunner household, he has not played any admissions game (nor had it played for him). He is just a smart kid who has performed well at a challenging school. Outside of school he is a regular kid. He likes sports and girls and You Tube and laughing. He really enjoys history, is excellent at it and will likely study it in college but he's not reading it outside of class (nor does he claim to.) Thoughts on how a kid like this (there have to be more like him who get into an Ivy without being a gunner) fit in? Or what the actual culture is at these schools in 2024? Anyone with kids there who can share? Thank you! |
Anonymous
| I can only speak to Yale as have kid there now (public school, unhooked, energetically into learning/community etc but also didn’t solve world hunger in high school) but yes- lots of opportunities for fun! Many kinds/sizes of parties the norm there, arts/cultural scene fun and vibrant, and there are a lot of different social scenes/groups so while there’s no guarantee any given kid will find their people right away there seems to be a place for everyone if they put themselves out there.There are a lot of components to what allows for a fun environment at college, definitely not all related to the students themselves. School policies on gatherings and how heavily they crack down on alcohol use, city noise restrictions, and the kinds of gathering spaces also play a part. Yale is very hands off/flexible in that regard ( with exception of covid when they were famously restrictive). It will also depend on major- engineeeing students seem be drowning in work everywhere so that may offer a less fun experience than a social science kid is able to have . Good luck! |
Anonymous
| There are all kinds of students at every college (yes that includes the ivies) |
Anonymous
| I have 2 kids at different Ivies. They are very smart and diligent students, but not gunners. They have found their people. There are definitely plenty of gunners at both, from what they say. |
Anonymous
| Why is the college counselor so sure he will get in? Is it the relationship of the prep school with Ivy's? Lots of kids at prep schools have all A's. What in his academic record is so distinguishing? |
Anonymous
| I have kids at two non-ivy top 20s. I think they're pretty sane and down to earth. Both have found their people at their respective schools. Anecdotally, among their friends, those at Notre Dame, McGill, Vanderbilt, Northwestern, and Cornell seem to have found good low-key friend groups. Their friends at Harvard and Columbia have really struggled. The word "weirdos" has sometimes been used. Take it for what it's worth, which is not much. |
Anonymous
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What does he want to do with a history degree? My take is why Ivy necessarily? Is he thinking law school? Phd? I think he’s get better access to professors in history at a SLAC, particularly if he’s not a gunner. I would look at Amherst, Williams etc…if you really want Ivy maybe Dartmouth which is smaller.
I went to an Ivy. They are not really always all that in terms of undergrad education. |
Anonymous
| Quite a few kids at top schools "downshift" after being gunners all their high school lives. You'll find your niche. |
Anonymous
| Best he move along. Kids at ivies are not regular kids. They certainly don’t like sports and girls and You Tube and laughing. |
Anonymous
+1 The Ivies just have high stats kids who won the lottery and got accepted. Socially, no different than other kids. |
Anonymous
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How is someone “excellent at history”? It’s not like a language or Math where one may have some innate natural ability.
I kind of disagree with what other posters are saying. Yes, you can find your group of “non gunners”….but there will be many ambitious kids. Often the parents/kids that end up lamenting why Ivy schools didn’t produce magical results fall into the category of your kid. You are expecting something special just because the kid goes to Yale. Now, if you are saying your kid is at ease with Greek life or Eating Clubs or Final Clubs (and comes from the right background)….thats a different story. Your kid will then likely enjoy one of these schools quite a bit and not feel the need to become part of one of the exclusive academic/professional clubs. |
Anonymous
Kids can absolutely have innate natural abilities, that combined with interest, make history a strength. Writing, analyzing, seeing patterns and making connections between events, etc . . . |
Anonymous
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I'm sure he'd do fine!
But I question the college counseling. My kids are at a top boarding school that sends dozens of kids to ivies and we were just on a zoom where the head of college advising said, "It's all about institutional priorities now. The top kids have no better chance than the 40th kid. The colleges know all are students would do well at their college, they're picking who they need. (aka hooked and/or pointy.) Our top students shouldn't feel entitled to a spot at the most rejective schools nor should our middle of the class kids should not feel these schools are out of reach" |
Anonymous
Well…OP says the kid doesn’t have any interest in history outside of schoolwork. That’s a bit odd. I have a STEM kid that loves reading history (yes, more related to STEM/invention history) in their spare time. |
Anonymous
+1 |