Will a non "gunner" kid find their people at the Ivies in 2024?

[Anonymous]

Humanities will be a lot easier than STEM/CS/Engineering. But kids at Ivy schools are not chill. They are type A. It can be fun but not as much fun as big state schools with football games etc that all the students get excited about together

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:My kid is really enjoying Brown. Deliberately chose schools that embraced creativity and weren't grinds. Of course, everyone there is a super high achiever, but there isn't the pressure to outdo everyone else. In math, kids help each other on problem sets. In arts, they support each other. Nice change if pace from her magnet grind.

Friend similarly enjoyed Yale, but they seem to have more airs/ego (could have been there pre-Yale, but was very apparent after a few years there) than my kid's friends at Brown do. Friend at Harvard turned into a total snob. Between that a kid who moaned about how hyper competitive everyone was at H, mine crossed that one off her list.

Choose a few to visit. I'd try Yale, Brown and Dartmouth.

You’re trying too hard, Brown Mom.

At what? Just sharing my kid's experience with her school and a few others.

You aren’t sharing. You’re promoting, and not very well since it’s so transparent.

We get it, Brown kids are cool (though you have to say every time they are “super high achievers,” in case someone thinks maybe they aren’t quite the same caliber as at some other schools) and kids at Harvard and Yale aren’t.

Yikes, you've got a chip on your shoulder. Brown doesn't need my (or anyone's) promotion. Just sharing an experience. Mentioned the achiever part because students do have drive and are not slackers in case "creative" was misinterpreted as this board wants to do. Also, I only shared once.

Eat something. You'll feel better.

I can assure you I’ve no chip on my shoulder when it comes to Brown. You’re just boring and repetitive. If Brown students are indeed creative, there’s clearly at least one instance where it wasn’t inherited.

K. Talk about boring and repetitive.
PP posted once. Sounds like sour grapes from this person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have kids at two non-ivy top 20s. I think they're pretty sane and down to earth. Both have found their people at their respective schools. Anecdotally, among their friends, those at Notre Dame, McGill, Vanderbilt, Northwestern, and Cornell seem to have found good low-key friend groups. Their friends at Harvard and Columbia have really struggled. The word "weirdos" has sometimes been used. Take it for what it's worth, which is not much.

Funny, friends of my DC who go to Harvard used the same word to describe a lot of the kids there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is really enjoying Brown. Deliberately chose schools that embraced creativity and weren't grinds. Of course, everyone there is a super high achiever, but there isn't the pressure to outdo everyone else. In math, kids help each other on problem sets. In arts, they support each other. Nice change if pace from her magnet grind.

Friend similarly enjoyed Yale, but they seem to have more airs/ego (could have been there pre-Yale, but was very apparent after a few years there) than my kid's friends at Brown do. Friend at Harvard turned into a total snob. Between that a kid who moaned about how hyper competitive everyone was at H, mine crossed that one off her list.

Choose a few to visit. I'd try Yale, Brown and Dartmouth.

You’re trying too hard, Brown Mom.

At what? Just sharing my kid's experience with her school and a few others.

You aren’t sharing. You’re promoting, and not very well since it’s so transparent.

We get it, Brown kids are cool (though you have to say every time they are “super high achievers,” in case someone thinks maybe they aren’t quite the same caliber as at some other schools) and kids at Harvard and Yale aren’t.

Yikes, you've got a chip on your shoulder. Brown doesn't need my (or anyone's) promotion. Just sharing an experience. Mentioned the achiever part because students do have drive and are not slackers in case "creative" was misinterpreted as this board wants to do. Also, I only shared once.

Eat something. You'll feel better.

I can assure you I’ve no chip on my shoulder when it comes to Brown. You’re just boring and repetitive. If Brown students are indeed creative, there’s clearly at least one instance where it wasn’t inherited.

K. Talk about boring and repetitive.
PP posted once. Sounds like sour grapes from this person.

+1

What a tool. Definitely didn’t go to Brown.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Humanities will be a lot easier than STEM/CS/Engineering. But kids at Ivy schools are not chill. They are type A. It can be fun but not as much fun as big state schools with football games etc that all the students get excited about together

This. My type A ivy kid does have a lot of fun and has met many friends/socializes, et. Her friends from HS at non-ivy top10s are all report similar intensity on campus, but some do have big sports. No one picks ivies for the sports.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How is someone “excellent at history”? It’s not like a language or Math where one may have some innate natural ability.

Kids can absolutely have innate natural abilities, that combined with interest, make history a strength. Writing, analyzing, seeing patterns and making connections between events, etc . . .

+100

[Anonymous]

Brown, Dartmouth, Yale are not particularly grindy.

Columbia, Penn, Harvard are not good fits for this kid

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is really enjoying Brown. Deliberately chose schools that embraced creativity and weren't grinds. Of course, everyone there is a super high achiever, but there isn't the pressure to outdo everyone else. In math, kids help each other on problem sets. In arts, they support each other. Nice change if pace from her magnet grind.

Friend similarly enjoyed Yale, but they seem to have more airs/ego (could have been there pre-Yale, but was very apparent after a few years there) than my kid's friends at Brown do. Friend at Harvard turned into a total snob. Between that a kid who moaned about how hyper competitive everyone was at H, mine crossed that one off her list.

Choose a few to visit. I'd try Yale, Brown and Dartmouth.

You’re trying too hard, Brown Mom.

At what? Just sharing my kid's experience with her school and a few others.

You aren’t sharing. You’re promoting, and not very well since it’s so transparent.

We get it, Brown kids are cool (though you have to say every time they are “super high achievers,” in case someone thinks maybe they aren’t quite the same caliber as at some other schools) and kids at Harvard and Yale aren’t.

Yikes, you've got a chip on your shoulder. Brown doesn't need my (or anyone's) promotion. Just sharing an experience. Mentioned the achiever part because students do have drive and are not slackers in case "creative" was misinterpreted as this board wants to do. Also, I only shared once.

Eat something. You'll feel better.

I can assure you I’ve no chip on my shoulder when it comes to Brown. You’re just boring and repetitive. If Brown students are indeed creative, there’s clearly at least one instance where it wasn’t inherited.

K. Talk about boring and repetitive.
PP posted once. Sounds like sour grapes from this person.

+1

What a tool. Definitely didn’t go to Brown.

PP posts the same spiel about Brown regularly. Boring cheerleader mom.

[Anonymous]

My kid will be going to Yale next year and is not a grinder or a genius and has founded no non-profits or cured any diseases. Just a very bright kid who is caring, curious, and might have been called well-rounded back in the day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is really enjoying Brown. Deliberately chose schools that embraced creativity and weren't grinds. Of course, everyone there is a super high achiever, but there isn't the pressure to outdo everyone else. In math, kids help each other on problem sets. In arts, they support each other. Nice change if pace from her magnet grind.

Friend similarly enjoyed Yale, but they seem to have more airs/ego (could have been there pre-Yale, but was very apparent after a few years there) than my kid's friends at Brown do. Friend at Harvard turned into a total snob. Between that a kid who moaned about how hyper competitive everyone was at H, mine crossed that one off her list.

Choose a few to visit. I'd try Yale, Brown and Dartmouth.

You’re trying too hard, Brown Mom.

At what? Just sharing my kid's experience with her school and a few others.

You aren’t sharing. You’re promoting, and not very well since it’s so transparent.

We get it, Brown kids are cool (though you have to say every time they are “super high achievers,” in case someone thinks maybe they aren’t quite the same caliber as at some other schools) and kids at Harvard and Yale aren’t.

Yikes, you've got a chip on your shoulder. Brown doesn't need my (or anyone's) promotion. Just sharing an experience. Mentioned the achiever part because students do have drive and are not slackers in case "creative" was misinterpreted as this board wants to do. Also, I only shared once.

Eat something. You'll feel better.

I can assure you I’ve no chip on my shoulder when it comes to Brown. You’re just boring and repetitive. If Brown students are indeed creative, there’s clearly at least one instance where it wasn’t inherited.

K. Talk about boring and repetitive.
PP posted once. Sounds like sour grapes from this person.

+1

What a tool. Definitely didn’t go to Brown.

PP posts the same spiel about Brown regularly. Boring cheerleader mom.

I think you’re being unnecessarily sour. OP asked about the environment at these schools and insights from people who have kids there right now. PP gave a pretty straightforward answer.

[Anonymous]

PP with 2 kids at different Ivies. I went to one of them. I am not Type A and far from a gunner. I had questions about my alma mater for my kid because there is a lot of talk about stress and suicides. I think it is a very reasonable question. BTW- my kids are neither gunners nor Type A. There are all types of kids at all of these schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are all kinds of students at every college (yes that includes the ivies)

This 100%

Run the numbers. They accept 5%. Then subtract all the legacies, athletes, faculty kids, non-super wealthy, non-show-biz etc. How many spots for ordinary smart kids are actually left?

Just because there are “some,” it doesn’t necessarily follow that there are enough that they will find others of their type.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are all kinds of students at every college (yes that includes the ivies)

This 100%

Run the numbers. They accept 5%. Then subtract all the legacies, athletes, faculty kids, non-super wealthy, non-show-biz etc. How many spots for ordinary smart kids are actually left?

Just because there are “some,” it doesn’t necessarily follow that there are enough that they will find others of their type.

What makes the legacy kids or the faculty kids any different socially?? These schools have plenty of kids just like OP's who are normal albeit very smart kids would not shy away from the Ivies for fear of not fitting in. In a class of 1500+ anyone can find a good group of friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Quite a few kids at top schools "downshift" after being gunners all their high school lives. You'll find your niche.

Meaning they were never gunners in the first place, but their parents were.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are all kinds of students at every college (yes that includes the ivies)

This 100%

Run the numbers. They accept 5%. Then subtract all the legacies, athletes, faculty kids, non-super wealthy, non-show-biz etc. How many spots for ordinary smart kids are actually left?

Just because there are “some,” it doesn’t necessarily follow that there are enough that they will find others of their type.

What makes the legacy kids or the faculty kids any different socially?? These schools have plenty of kids just like OP's who are normal albeit very smart kids would not shy away from the Ivies for fear of not fitting in. In a class of 1500+ anyone can find a good group of friends.

Exactly - if my unhooked public school kid was unwilling to befriend anyone without her identical profile she clearly wouldn’t be ready for college. In truth some social groups do coalesce around certain factors ( billionaire kids tend to hang out/vacation together, athletes so busy they don’t have as much time for clubs/groups etc ) but the beautiful thing about college is moving beyond the rigidity of high school social groups and having friends from a variety of backgrounds