DMV Beauty Reality Check

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most people are around average-looking. Beauty is more or less normally distributed. Don't let grooming fool you.

But shouldn’t it count for something- doing the best with what you have?

I will admit OP’s sentiments came into my head because of the recent post on How Would Men Rate You (or something like that). There were a lot of high scores but then looking at the real world, everyone looks fine, normal, average. I’ve been going to NYC for work lately and have ended up with the same impression. When I started work in my 20s, I couldn’t believe the difference in how NYC womenpresented themselves and I presented myself. Now at 50, it’s all kind of mushed in the middle.

It's 2024. We are in the middle of an overweight/obesity epidemic. Taking care of yourself matters a great deal. And PP's "don't let grooming fool you" only takes the position that perfect grooming can't make up for a lack of genetics and fails to consider the negative consequences of average or less grooming, when others make an effort.

I think perhaps you are seeing less effort in NYC because culture has changed post-pandemic. Years of sitting in the house in pajamas and no makeup changed us.

I WFH in leggings and no makeup most days. I'm also normal weight and I lift more than casually, so I'm "taking care of myself" in that sense. I clean up when I have professional or social obligations that require cleaning up. What exactly are the negative consequences of me being ungroomed most of the time? Who am I trying to impress at the grocery store?

You are kind of proving my point here...

If your point was that I'm supposed to GAF about you judging me in the grocery store, I wasn't. You think I should wear makeup, I think you should deadlift. Neither of these opinions matters.

Only on DCUM is this an either/or option.

DP. Agreed. Plus the person you responded to sounds completely unhinged. They clearly missed the point and then angrily projected onto the original “the culture has changed” PP.

I think judging other people in the grocery store for not being made up is angry and unhinged, as is thinking anyone should care that you find a whole city unattractive, but you do you.

If you are so offended that someone would judge a person on not being made up, it seems like DCUM/beauty/thread on DMV is an odd place to hang out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just attended a prestigious national panel discussion in DC. The three women on the panel were think tankers and academics. None of them had done a thing with their hair and had no makeup on. Yet, they were so badass, so brilliant, so warm yet in complete command of the subject matter and the discussion. I was in awe. They were not unattractive either.

And? I’ll paraphrase my comment above: in certain circles, it appears makeup is looked down upon. Or no makeup is celebrated. Don’t know if that happens in other towns.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most people are around average-looking. Beauty is more or less normally distributed. Don't let grooming fool you.

But shouldn’t it count for something- doing the best with what you have?

I will admit OP’s sentiments came into my head because of the recent post on How Would Men Rate You (or something like that). There were a lot of high scores but then looking at the real world, everyone looks fine, normal, average. I’ve been going to NYC for work lately and have ended up with the same impression. When I started work in my 20s, I couldn’t believe the difference in how NYC womenpresented themselves and I presented myself. Now at 50, it’s all kind of mushed in the middle.

It's 2024. We are in the middle of an overweight/obesity epidemic. Taking care of yourself matters a great deal. And PP's "don't let grooming fool you" only takes the position that perfect grooming can't make up for a lack of genetics and fails to consider the negative consequences of average or less grooming, when others make an effort.

I think perhaps you are seeing less effort in NYC because culture has changed post-pandemic. Years of sitting in the house in pajamas and no makeup changed us.

And what might those negative consequences be? You are either a man or a women with little life experience. We are entering a new era where empowered women are rejecting the beauty standards valued by men. Look at Alicia Keys (who stopped wearing makeup in 2016 and has now created her own beauty line and approached 'beauty' from a different perspective) and Pamela Anderson. There's nothing wrong with wearing makeup and attention to 'grooming' unless not doing it makes you feel less or unattractive. That's when it becomes pathological.

I've never met the standards of a 'beauty'. At best, I'm cute. I have great skin, curly hair and smile but I'm short, curvy and, until the Kardashians, had too much booty and boobs. But, the biggest turn off for guys was my intellect. Many men found me attractive, particularly my confidence but only secure men continued to find me attractive (except for those guys who just wanted to get laid). I would have been fine being single forever and, in fact, expected to be until I met DH and we got married when I was 35.

If the 'negative consequence' you note is that I'm not attractive enough to men, you are part of the problem. This isn't a competition and women no longer need marriage to survive, have kids or a fulfilling life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most people are around average-looking. Beauty is more or less normally distributed. Don't let grooming fool you.

But shouldn’t it count for something- doing the best with what you have?

I will admit OP’s sentiments came into my head because of the recent post on How Would Men Rate You (or something like that). There were a lot of high scores but then looking at the real world, everyone looks fine, normal, average. I’ve been going to NYC for work lately and have ended up with the same impression. When I started work in my 20s, I couldn’t believe the difference in how NYC womenpresented themselves and I presented myself. Now at 50, it’s all kind of mushed in the middle.

It's 2024. We are in the middle of an overweight/obesity epidemic. Taking care of yourself matters a great deal. And PP's "don't let grooming fool you" only takes the position that perfect grooming can't make up for a lack of genetics and fails to consider the negative consequences of average or less grooming, when others make an effort.

I think perhaps you are seeing less effort in NYC because culture has changed post-pandemic. Years of sitting in the house in pajamas and no makeup changed us.

I WFH in leggings and no makeup most days. I'm also normal weight and I lift more than casually, so I'm "taking care of myself" in that sense. I clean up when I have professional or social obligations that require cleaning up. What exactly are the negative consequences of me being ungroomed most of the time? Who am I trying to impress at the grocery store?

You are kind of proving my point here...

18:55 here. I don't know what your point is. My motivation to take 'care of myself' was internal, not external. It's been probably 16 years since I've worn makeup to work and even when I did, I never wore it on the weekends - unless I was getting dressed up. Now that I WAH FT, I'm usually in leggings like the PP. What negative conseuquences to you think we experience?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's time for a reality check. Most people living in the DMV are not attractive. DC and Maryland are especially bad. If the standard scale is 1-10, DMV residents automatically lose 2 points, with NWDC and MD losing an extra point. There are many threads in which DCUMers self-rate themselves as 7/10 or above. Statistically speaking, you are multiplying the already small odds of being attractive with the even smaller odds of being attractive in the DMV. From here on out, let's agree to be honest and adjust our self-ratings.

Speak for yourself. I used a website called Pink Mirror when I was dating because I was curious if I was being too picky. My face is indeed a 7. I have other factors that probably push it up, if anything. Lots of wealthy women found this website because they were looking for a nanny. Wealthy people tend to be more attractive, because HNW people can have their pick. It’s not weird to me at all. I expect many of the women here to be better looking than me, sure to selection bias.

I just used it an got a 9.1 - thanks, it was fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's time for a reality check. Most people living in the DMV are not attractive. DC and Maryland are especially bad. If the standard scale is 1-10, DMV residents automatically lose 2 points, with NWDC and MD losing an extra point. There are many threads in which DCUMers self-rate themselves as 7/10 or above. Statistically speaking, you are multiplying the already small odds of being attractive with the even smaller odds of being attractive in the DMV. From here on out, let's agree to be honest and adjust our self-ratings.

Speak for yourself. I used a website called Pink Mirror when I was dating because I was curious if I was being too picky. My face is indeed a 7. I have other factors that probably push it up, if anything. Lots of wealthy women found this website because they were looking for a nanny. Wealthy people tend to be more attractive, because HNW people can have their pick. It’s not weird to me at all. I expect many of the women here to be better looking than me, sure to selection bias.

I just used it a got a 9.1 - thanks, it was fun.

Not pp. but it varies. I’ve gotten as high as 9.4 and as low as 7.8 depending upon makeup and pose/lighting.

This literally proves the point that investing in these things (makeup, beauty) helps!!

I already have high cheekbones, healthy long hair, soulful eyes, good proportions to chin, eyes, etc. but if I roll out of bed I’ll be less attractive than if I doll up. Any celebrity or actress in the wild would be less good looking without help.

I think there is a DMV type that looks good. But agree it’s not one who works. Sorry. Working tires you and unless you already have good bone structure you won’t be able to be at that level. That horrible lighting in offices does horrors to skin quality. I don’t live in the DMV but use to, agree people there are bland.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's time for a reality check. Most people living in the DMV are not attractive. DC and Maryland are especially bad. If the standard scale is 1-10, DMV residents automatically lose 2 points, with NWDC and MD losing an extra point. There are many threads in which DCUMers self-rate themselves as 7/10 or above. Statistically speaking, you are multiplying the already small odds of being attractive with the even smaller odds of being attractive in the DMV. From here on out, let's agree to be honest and adjust our self-ratings.

Speak for yourself. I used a website called Pink Mirror when I was dating because I was curious if I was being too picky. My face is indeed a 7. I have other factors that probably push it up, if anything. Lots of wealthy women found this website because they were looking for a nanny. Wealthy people tend to be more attractive, because HNW people can have their pick. It’s not weird to me at all. I expect many of the women here to be better looking than me, sure to selection bias.

I just used it an got a 9.1 - thanks, it was fun.

Glad you enjoyed it!

[Anonymous]

Why rate random humans?

[Anonymous]

I'm confidently a 9-11. Sorry not sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's time for a reality check. Most people living in the DMV are not attractive. DC and Maryland are especially bad. If the standard scale is 1-10, DMV residents automatically lose 2 points, with NWDC and MD losing an extra point. There are many threads in which DCUMers self-rate themselves as 7/10 or above. Statistically speaking, you are multiplying the already small odds of being attractive with the even smaller odds of being attractive in the DMV. From here on out, let's agree to be honest and adjust our self-ratings.

Speak for yourself. I used a website called Pink Mirror when I was dating because I was curious if I was being too picky. My face is indeed a 7. I have other factors that probably push it up, if anything. Lots of wealthy women found this website because they were looking for a nanny. Wealthy people tend to be more attractive, because HNW people can have their pick. It’s not weird to me at all. I expect many of the women here to be better looking than me, sure to selection bias.

I just used it a got a 9.1 - thanks, it was fun.

Not pp. but it varies. I’ve gotten as high as 9.4 and as low as 7.8 depending upon makeup and pose/lighting.

This literally proves the point that investing in these things (makeup, beauty) helps!!

I already have high cheekbones, healthy long hair, soulful eyes, good proportions to chin, eyes, etc. but if I roll out of bed I’ll be less attractive than if I doll up. Any celebrity or actress in the wild would be less good looking without help.

I think there is a DMV type that looks good. But agree it’s not one who works. Sorry. Working tires you and unless you already have good bone structure you won’t be able to be at that level. That horrible lighting in offices does horrors to skin quality. I don’t live in the DMV but use to, agree people there are bland.

Couldn't agree more about the working. Even my husband has noticed this about women who work. He says they all have the same tired look and more wrinkles, and most are overweight.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand how people can find the "LA Look" attractive. Many of the women look like a picasso painting - cut up with random pieces attached here and there, with nothing looking like it fits them.

The surgical look also always ages really terribly.

[Anonymous]

NY gets too much credit, sure they have fashion but Miami puts NY to shame.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's time for a reality check. Most people living in the DMV are not attractive. DC and Maryland are especially bad. If the standard scale is 1-10, DMV residents automatically lose 2 points, with NWDC and MD losing an extra point. There are many threads in which DCUMers self-rate themselves as 7/10 or above. Statistically speaking, you are multiplying the already small odds of being attractive with the even smaller odds of being attractive in the DMV. From here on out, let's agree to be honest and adjust our self-ratings.

Speak for yourself. I used a website called Pink Mirror when I was dating because I was curious if I was being too picky. My face is indeed a 7. I have other factors that probably push it up, if anything. Lots of wealthy women found this website because they were looking for a nanny. Wealthy people tend to be more attractive, because HNW people can have their pick. It’s not weird to me at all. I expect many of the women here to be better looking than me, sure to selection bias.

I just used it a got a 9.1 - thanks, it was fun.

Not pp. but it varies. I’ve gotten as high as 9.4 and as low as 7.8 depending upon makeup and pose/lighting.

This literally proves the point that investing in these things (makeup, beauty) helps!!

I already have high cheekbones, healthy long hair, soulful eyes, good proportions to chin, eyes, etc. but if I roll out of bed I’ll be less attractive than if I doll up. Any celebrity or actress in the wild would be less good looking without help.

I think there is a DMV type that looks good. But agree it’s not one who works. Sorry. Working tires you and unless you already have good bone structure you won’t be able to be at that level. That horrible lighting in offices does horrors to skin quality. I don’t live in the DMV but use to, agree people there are bland.

Couldn't agree more about the working. Even my husband has noticed this about women who work. He says they all have the same tired look and more wrinkles, and most are overweight.

Agree. But why do working women look better elsewhere? I’m specifically thinking of New York. Worked in banking there and the hours were no joke, but most of my females colleagues were fit, well-dressed, and some were downright beautiful (face). Here I know women who work in not nearly as stressful sectors and they are mostly homely and overweight, especially in the 30 and up demographic.

[Anonymous]

Funny I was just wondering about this the other day. I rarely notice people who are beautiful when I’m out and about here. The kind of experience where someone’s beauty makes you want to stare or look twice. I’m talking about both men and women. I remember it happening more often in Boston and New York - on subways, at cafes, in the grocery store. Thought maybe I’m getting old and just don’t pay attention to looks as much, but this gives me a new explanation..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Aside from the fact that OP is a sour puss, he/she is right. One of my more attractive friends actually left DC in his late twenties because all the women in his dating pool were so ugly. He’s no Brad Pitt but a 8/10 man and cared about aesthetics. He would complain to me about how unattractive most women in DC are.

Sounds like a sweet guy. I’m so jealous of the woman he ended up with!