DMV Beauty Reality Check

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's time for a reality check. Most people living in the DMV are not attractive. DC and Maryland are especially bad. If the standard scale is 1-10, DMV residents automatically lose 2 points, with NWDC and MD losing an extra point. There are many threads in which DCUMers self-rate themselves as 7/10 or above. Statistically speaking, you are multiplying the already small odds of being attractive with the even smaller odds of being attractive in the DMV. From here on out, let's agree to be honest and adjust our self-ratings.

Speak for yourself. I used a website called Pink Mirror when I was dating because I was curious if I was being too picky. My face is indeed a 7. I have other factors that probably push it up, if anything. Lots of wealthy women found this website because they were looking for a nanny. Wealthy people tend to be more attractive, because HNW people can have their pick. It’s not weird to me at all. I expect many of the women here to be better looking than me, sure to selection bias.

I just used it a got a 9.1 - thanks, it was fun.

Not pp. but it varies. I’ve gotten as high as 9.4 and as low as 7.8 depending upon makeup and pose/lighting.

This literally proves the point that investing in these things (makeup, beauty) helps!!

I already have high cheekbones, healthy long hair, soulful eyes, good proportions to chin, eyes, etc. but if I roll out of bed I’ll be less attractive than if I doll up. Any celebrity or actress in the wild would be less good looking without help.

I think there is a DMV type that looks good. But agree it’s not one who works. Sorry. Working tires you and unless you already have good bone structure you won’t be able to be at that level. That horrible lighting in offices does horrors to skin quality. I don’t live in the DMV but use to, agree people there are bland.

Couldn't agree more about the working. Even my husband has noticed this about women who work. He says they all have the same tired look and more wrinkles, and most are overweight.

Agree. But why do working women look better elsewhere? I’m specifically thinking of New York. Worked in banking there and the hours were no joke, but most of my females colleagues were fit, well-dressed, and some were downright beautiful (face). Here I know women who work in not nearly as stressful sectors and they are mostly homely and overweight, especially in the 30 and up demographic.

Because in more competitive professional environments like law, finance, consulting, competence is judged at least partially on how well a person is dressed and groomed. This doesn’t mean they need to look like a Kardashian, but they should at minimum look well groomed like a Kate Middleton or Michelle Obama. Clothes, hair, makeup. I’ll never fail to be shocked at the women who protest, “well I’m clean.“ Like damn, the bar is that low?!

Think back to the movie My Cousin Vinny. The lead is on trial for murder and is deeply worried when Danny DeVito comes in looking sloppy in an extremely dated, loud suit. Sure, DeVito eventually proves his competence in the end. But how many people are going to get that second chance at a first impression? Very few, especially women and especially women of color.

I’m a woman of color, so this hits really close to home. I’m already very much into beauty and fashion, so I make sure to present my myself nicely on a regular basis. I often don’t get a second crack at the first impression apple. And that’s even though I have a law degree from Harvard.

Women of color in DC, particularly black women, are the best we have to offer- typically polished, stylish, and bra. But invisible to the demographics that post on this website.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's time for a reality check. Most people living in the DMV are not attractive. DC and Maryland are especially bad. If the standard scale is 1-10, DMV residents automatically lose 2 points, with NWDC and MD losing an extra point. There are many threads in which DCUMers self-rate themselves as 7/10 or above. Statistically speaking, you are multiplying the already small odds of being attractive with the even smaller odds of being attractive in the DMV. From here on out, let's agree to be honest and adjust our self-ratings.

Speak for yourself. I used a website called Pink Mirror when I was dating because I was curious if I was being too picky. My face is indeed a 7. I have other factors that probably push it up, if anything. Lots of wealthy women found this website because they were looking for a nanny. Wealthy people tend to be more attractive, because HNW people can have their pick. It’s not weird to me at all. I expect many of the women here to be better looking than me, sure to selection bias.

I just used it a got a 9.1 - thanks, it was fun.

Not pp. but it varies. I’ve gotten as high as 9.4 and as low as 7.8 depending upon makeup and pose/lighting.

This literally proves the point that investing in these things (makeup, beauty) helps!!

I already have high cheekbones, healthy long hair, soulful eyes, good proportions to chin, eyes, etc. but if I roll out of bed I’ll be less attractive than if I doll up. Any celebrity or actress in the wild would be less good looking without help.

I think there is a DMV type that looks good. But agree it’s not one who works. Sorry. Working tires you and unless you already have good bone structure you won’t be able to be at that level. That horrible lighting in offices does horrors to skin quality. I don’t live in the DMV but use to, agree people there are bland.

Couldn't agree more about the working. Even my husband has noticed this about women who work. He says they all have the same tired look and more wrinkles, and most are overweight.

Agree. But why do working women look better elsewhere? I’m specifically thinking of New York. Worked in banking there and the hours were no joke, but most of my females colleagues were fit, well-dressed, and some were downright beautiful (face). Here I know women who work in not nearly as stressful sectors and they are mostly homely and overweight, especially in the 30 and up demographic.

Because in more competitive professional environments like law, finance, consulting, competence is judged at least partially on how well a person is dressed and groomed. This doesn’t mean they need to look like a Kardashian, but they should at minimum look well groomed like a Kate Middleton or Michelle Obama. Clothes, hair, makeup. I’ll never fail to be shocked at the women who protest, “well I’m clean.“ Like damn, the bar is that low?!

Think back to the movie My Cousin Vinny. The lead is on trial for murder and is deeply worried when Danny DeVito comes in looking sloppy in an extremely dated, loud suit. Sure, DeVito eventually proves his competence in the end. But how many people are going to get that second chance at a first impression? Very few, especially women and especially women of color.

I’m a woman of color, so this hits really close to home. I’m already very much into beauty and fashion, so I make sure to present my myself nicely on a regular basis. I often don’t get a second crack at the first impression apple. And that’s even though I have a law degree from Harvard.

Women of color in DC, particularly black women, are the best we have to offer- typically polished, stylish, and bra. But invisible to the demographics that post on this website.

Beautiful not bra, damn you autocorrect!!! 😂😂😂

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Aside from the fact that OP is a sour puss, he/she is right. One of my more attractive friends actually left DC in his late twenties because all the women in his dating pool were so ugly. He’s no Brad Pitt but a 8/10 man and cared about aestheticsj. He would complain to me about how unattractive most women in DC are.

Sounds like a sweet guy. I’m so jealous of the woman he ended up with!

? is this sarcasm?

…yes…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What a weird thing to write a post about.

Well-groomed UMC/UC suburbanites look about the same in DC and NY suburbs— the NY crowd will be better dressed and usually better manicured but it’s the same level of fitness and the balyage is touched up just as often.

The Best Dressed in NY are much better dressed than DC, that doesn’t change the rankings of the rest of the people.

West Coast/LA skews the averages because it’s a town built around how people look.

The DMV soccer moms are way more attractive than the soccer moms up and down the East Coast, including the Nyers and Carolinas.

which DMV neighborhood do you live in that has hot soccer moms?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's time for a reality check. Most people living in the DMV are not attractive. DC and Maryland are especially bad. If the standard scale is 1-10, DMV residents automatically lose 2 points, with NWDC and MD losing an extra point. There are many threads in which DCUMers self-rate themselves as 7/10 or above. Statistically speaking, you are multiplying the already small odds of being attractive with the even smaller odds of being attractive in the DMV. From here on out, let's agree to be honest and adjust our self-ratings.

Speak for yourself. I used a website called Pink Mirror when I was dating because I was curious if I was being too picky. My face is indeed a 7. I have other factors that probably push it up, if anything. Lots of wealthy women found this website because they were looking for a nanny. Wealthy people tend to be more attractive, because HNW people can have their pick. It’s not weird to me at all. I expect many of the women here to be better looking than me, sure to selection bias.

I just used it a got a 9.1 - thanks, it was fun.

Not pp. but it varies. I’ve gotten as high as 9.4 and as low as 7.8 depending upon makeup and pose/lighting.

This literally proves the point that investing in these things (makeup, beauty) helps!!

I already have high cheekbones, healthy long hair, soulful eyes, good proportions to chin, eyes, etc. but if I roll out of bed I’ll be less attractive than if I doll up. Any celebrity or actress in the wild would be less good looking without help.

I think there is a DMV type that looks good. But agree it’s not one who works. Sorry. Working tires you and unless you already have good bone structure you won’t be able to be at that level. That horrible lighting in offices does horrors to skin quality. I don’t live in the DMV but use to, agree people there are bland.

Couldn't agree more about the working. Even my husband has noticed this about women who work. He says they all have the same tired look and more wrinkles, and most are overweight.

Agree. But why do working women look better elsewhere? I’m specifically thinking of New York. Worked in banking there and the hours were no joke, but most of my females colleagues were fit, well-dressed, and some were downright beautiful (face). Here I know women who work in not nearly as stressful sectors and they are mostly homely and overweight, especially in the 30 and up demographic.

Because in more competitive professional environments like law, finance, consulting, competence is judged at least partially on how well a person is dressed and groomed. This doesn’t mean they need to look like a Kardashian, but they should at minimum look well groomed like a Kate Middleton or Michelle Obama. Clothes, hair, makeup. I’ll never fail to be shocked at the women who protest, “well I’m clean.“ Like damn, the bar is that low?!

Think back to the movie My Cousin Vinny. The lead is on trial for murder and is deeply worried when Danny DeVito comes in looking sloppy in an extremely dated, loud suit. Sure, DeVito eventually proves his competence in the end. But how many people are going to get that second chance at a first impression? Very few, especially women and especially women of color.

I’m a woman of color, so this hits really close to home. I’m already very much into beauty and fashion, so I make sure to present my myself nicely on a regular basis. I often don’t get a second crack at the first impression apple. And that’s even though I have a law degree from Harvard.

You bring up excellent examples of the need for women, particularly POC, to be well groomed. You are absolutely right about the difficulty of changing a first impression. I see that, though, as something very different than the subject of this thread - that women in this area are 'unattractive' especially when compared to women in NY and LA - as if physical 'beauty' and 'attractiveness' are the same thing. They are not.

The advantages of being perceived as beautiful are well documented. Yet, that doesn't mean we should work to eliminate that bias in the same way we work to eliminate the biases against brown skin. We need to call out discimination whenever we see it. We, especially women, should not be perpetuating the objectification of women or judging them based on their 'beauty'. Some people, no matter how well groomed will never be considered beautiful - attractive, maybe, but not beautiful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's time for a reality check. Most people living in the DMV are not attractive. DC and Maryland are especially bad. If the standard scale is 1-10, DMV residents automatically lose 2 points, with NWDC and MD losing an extra point. There are many threads in which DCUMers self-rate themselves as 7/10 or above. Statistically speaking, you are multiplying the already small odds of being attractive with the even smaller odds of being attractive in the DMV. From here on out, let's agree to be honest and adjust our self-ratings.

Speak for yourself. I used a website called Pink Mirror when I was dating because I was curious if I was being too picky. My face is indeed a 7. I have other factors that probably push it up, if anything. Lots of wealthy women found this website because they were looking for a nanny. Wealthy people tend to be more attractive, because HNW people can have their pick. It’s not weird to me at all. I expect many of the women here to be better looking than me, sure to selection bias.

I just used it a got a 9.1 - thanks, it was fun.

Not pp. but it varies. I’ve gotten as high as 9.4 and as low as 7.8 depending upon makeup and pose/lighting.

This literally proves the point that investing in these things (makeup, beauty) helps!!

I already have high cheekbones, healthy long hair, soulful eyes, good proportions to chin, eyes, etc. but if I roll out of bed I’ll be less attractive than if I doll up. Any celebrity or actress in the wild would be less good looking without help.

I think there is a DMV type that looks good. But agree it’s not one who works. Sorry. Working tires you and unless you already have good bone structure you won’t be able to be at that level. That horrible lighting in offices does horrors to skin quality. I don’t live in the DMV but use to, agree people there are bland.

Couldn't agree more about the working. Even my husband has noticed this about women who work. He says they all have the same tired look and more wrinkles, and most are overweight.

Agree. But why do working women look better elsewhere? I’m specifically thinking of New York. Worked in banking there and the hours were no joke, but most of my females colleagues were fit, well-dressed, and some were downright beautiful (face). Here I know women who work in not nearly as stressful sectors and they are mostly homely and overweight, especially in the 30 and up demographic.

Because in more competitive professional environments like law, finance, consulting, competence is judged at least partially on how well a person is dressed and groomed. This doesn’t mean they need to look like a Kardashian, but they should at minimum look well groomed like a Kate Middleton or Michelle Obama. Clothes, hair, makeup. I’ll never fail to be shocked at the women who protest, “well I’m clean.“ Like damn, the bar is that low?!

Think back to the movie My Cousin Vinny. The lead is on trial for murder and is deeply worried when Danny DeVito comes in looking sloppy in an extremely dated, loud suit. Sure, DeVito eventually proves his competence in the end. But how many people are going to get that second chance at a first impression? Very few, especially women and especially women of color.

I’m a woman of color, so this hits really close to home. I’m already very much into beauty and fashion, so I make sure to present my myself nicely on a regular basis. I often don’t get a second crack at the first impression apple. And that’s even though I have a law degree from Harvard.

Thanks for the lecture on appearance, person old enough to reference “My Cousin Vinny” by telling us to “think back on it.” Um, that movie was from 1992. I was 3 years old.

And I was born in 1987 - hey fellow Millenial!

It's a pretty classic movie, particularly in the legal field, because it accurately depicts qualifying an expert witness, impeaching a witness, etc. It was used in my law school's evidence class to help teach us the Federal Rules of Evidence. So that's where I saw it.

But nice attempt at ageism.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's time for a reality check. Most people living in the DMV are not attractive. DC and Maryland are especially bad. If the standard scale is 1-10, DMV residents automatically lose 2 points, with NWDC and MD losing an extra point. There are many threads in which DCUMers self-rate themselves as 7/10 or above. Statistically speaking, you are multiplying the already small odds of being attractive with the even smaller odds of being attractive in the DMV. From here on out, let's agree to be honest and adjust our self-ratings.

Speak for yourself. I used a website called Pink Mirror when I was dating because I was curious if I was being too picky. My face is indeed a 7. I have other factors that probably push it up, if anything. Lots of wealthy women found this website because they were looking for a nanny. Wealthy people tend to be more attractive, because HNW people can have their pick. It’s not weird to me at all. I expect many of the women here to be better looking than me, sure to selection bias.

I just used it a got a 9.1 - thanks, it was fun.

Not pp. but it varies. I’ve gotten as high as 9.4 and as low as 7.8 depending upon makeup and pose/lighting.

This literally proves the point that investing in these things (makeup, beauty) helps!!

I already have high cheekbones, healthy long hair, soulful eyes, good proportions to chin, eyes, etc. but if I roll out of bed I’ll be less attractive than if I doll up. Any celebrity or actress in the wild would be less good looking without help.

I think there is a DMV type that looks good. But agree it’s not one who works. Sorry. Working tires you and unless you already have good bone structure you won’t be able to be at that level. That horrible lighting in offices does horrors to skin quality. I don’t live in the DMV but use to, agree people there are bland.

Couldn't agree more about the working. Even my husband has noticed this about women who work. He says they all have the same tired look and more wrinkles, and most are overweight.

Agree. But why do working women look better elsewhere? I’m specifically thinking of New York. Worked in banking there and the hours were no joke, but most of my females colleagues were fit, well-dressed, and some were downright beautiful (face). Here I know women who work in not nearly as stressful sectors and they are mostly homely and overweight, especially in the 30 and up demographic.

Because in more competitive professional environments like law, finance, consulting, competence is judged at least partially on how well a person is dressed and groomed. This doesn’t mean they need to look like a Kardashian, but they should at minimum look well groomed like a Kate Middleton or Michelle Obama. Clothes, hair, makeup. I’ll never fail to be shocked at the women who protest, “well I’m clean.“ Like damn, the bar is that low?!

Think back to the movie My Cousin Vinny. The lead is on trial for murder and is deeply worried when Danny DeVito comes in looking sloppy in an extremely dated, loud suit. Sure, DeVito eventually proves his competence in the end. But how many people are going to get that second chance at a first impression? Very few, especially women and especially women of color.

I’m a woman of color, so this hits really close to home. I’m already very much into beauty and fashion, so I make sure to present my myself nicely on a regular basis. I often don’t get a second crack at the first impression apple. And that’s even though I have a law degree from Harvard.

Agreed. I think it is absolutely a kind of white privilege to be able to go into a store as an adult wearing pajama bottoms without getting followed around bc they think you are a shoplifter. You have to do more social signaling with your appearance as a nonwhite person to get the same default respect. I therefore prefer settings where the norm is to put some effort in so it feels less racial to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's time for a reality check. Most people living in the DMV are not attractive. DC and Maryland are especially bad. If the standard scale is 1-10, DMV residents automatically lose 2 points, with NWDC and MD losing an extra point. There are many threads in which DCUMers self-rate themselves as 7/10 or above. Statistically speaking, you are multiplying the already small odds of being attractive with the even smaller odds of being attractive in the DMV. From here on out, let's agree to be honest and adjust our self-ratings.

Speak for yourself. I used a website called Pink Mirror when I was dating because I was curious if I was being too picky. My face is indeed a 7. I have other factors that probably push it up, if anything. Lots of wealthy women found this website because they were looking for a nanny. Wealthy people tend to be more attractive, because HNW people can have their pick. It’s not weird to me at all. I expect many of the women here to be better looking than me, sure to selection bias.

I just used it a got a 9.1 - thanks, it was fun.

Not pp. but it varies. I’ve gotten as high as 9.4 and as low as 7.8 depending upon makeup and pose/lighting.

This literally proves the point that investing in these things (makeup, beauty) helps!!

I already have high cheekbones, healthy long hair, soulful eyes, good proportions to chin, eyes, etc. but if I roll out of bed I’ll be less attractive than if I doll up. Any celebrity or actress in the wild would be less good looking without help.

I think there is a DMV type that looks good. But agree it’s not one who works. Sorry. Working tires you and unless you already have good bone structure you won’t be able to be at that level. That horrible lighting in offices does horrors to skin quality. I don’t live in the DMV but use to, agree people there are bland.

Couldn't agree more about the working. Even my husband has noticed this about women who work. He says they all have the same tired look and more wrinkles, and most are overweight.

Agree. But why do working women look better elsewhere? I’m specifically thinking of New York. Worked in banking there and the hours were no joke, but most of my females colleagues were fit, well-dressed, and some were downright beautiful (face). Here I know women who work in not nearly as stressful sectors and they are mostly homely and overweight, especially in the 30 and up demographic.

Because in more competitive professional environments like law, finance, consulting, competence is judged at least partially on how well a person is dressed and groomed. This doesn’t mean they need to look like a Kardashian, but they should at minimum look well groomed like a Kate Middleton or Michelle Obama. Clothes, hair, makeup. I’ll never fail to be shocked at the women who protest, “well I’m clean.“ Like damn, the bar is that low?!

Think back to the movie My Cousin Vinny. The lead is on trial for murder and is deeply worried when Danny DeVito comes in looking sloppy in an extremely dated, loud suit. Sure, DeVito eventually proves his competence in the end. But how many people are going to get that second chance at a first impression? Very few, especially women and especially women of color.

I’m a woman of color, so this hits really close to home. I’m already very much into beauty and fashion, so I make sure to present my myself nicely on a regular basis. I often don’t get a second crack at the first impression apple. And that’s even though I have a law degree from Harvard.

Agreed. I think it is absolutely a kind of white privilege to be able to go into a store as an adult wearing pajama bottoms without getting followed around bc they think you are a shoplifter. You have to do more social signaling with your appearance as a nonwhite person to get the same default respect. I therefore prefer settings where the norm is to put some effort in so it feels less racial to me.

Yeah, me too, I plan to eschew stores that feel racist for those who are just classist.

Oh, wait.
https://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2013/aug/09/oprah-winfrey-swiss-apology-racist-treatment

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Aside from the fact that OP is a sour puss, he/she is right. One of my more attractive friends actually left DC in his late twenties because all the women in his dating pool were so ugly. He’s no Brad Pitt but a 8/10 man and cared about aesthetics. He would complain to me about how unattractive most women in DC are.

The economists will tell you that quality rises with competition. The women here don't care about their looks like they do in, oh, say NY. Or LA. Or Texas. Or Utah. Or wherever. So we don't look around and feel ourselves at the bottom. We look around at the women who don't care much, and have no reason to make an effort. How much effort women (and men as well) put into "looks" - grooming, fitness, style, etc -- depends on the culture ... depends on the how much effort the women around them are making. And women don't make that much effort here. Well, not compared to some other places. Hence, a DC 8 is a NY 6. Or lower.

Women in DC and NY look the same to me. I definitely don't find the women in NY to be particularly attractive. Only pockets dress well. They look regular as hell to me, just like DC.

[Anonymous]

I don't think women are particularly bad looking here, I just think women don't prioritize looking well put together. That was not always the case. I thought women dressed MUCH better here in the 80s and 90s. I don't know what happened. I still dress everyday and get compliments every day. I just don't understand why other women don't care. My husband also believes in dressing well.

[Anonymous]

People are fatter. Businesses have lax dress codes. No one cares anymore. That’s why. Everyone is either in pajamas or one notch up from pajamas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's time for a reality check. Most people living in the DMV are not attractive. DC and Maryland are especially bad. If the standard scale is 1-10, DMV residents automatically lose 2 points, with NWDC and MD losing an extra point. There are many threads in which DCUMers self-rate themselves as 7/10 or above. Statistically speaking, you are multiplying the already small odds of being attractive with the even smaller odds of being attractive in the DMV. From here on out, let's agree to be honest and adjust our self-ratings.

Speak for yourself. I used a website called Pink Mirror when I was dating because I was curious if I was being too picky. My face is indeed a 7. I have other factors that probably push it up, if anything. Lots of wealthy women found this website because they were looking for a nanny. Wealthy people tend to be more attractive, because HNW people can have their pick. It’s not weird to me at all. I expect many of the women here to be better looking than me, sure to selection bias.

I just used it a got a 9.1 - thanks, it was fun.

Not pp. but it varies. I’ve gotten as high as 9.4 and as low as 7.8 depending upon makeup and pose/lighting.

This literally proves the point that investing in these things (makeup, beauty) helps!!

I already have high cheekbones, healthy long hair, soulful eyes, good proportions to chin, eyes, etc. but if I roll out of bed I’ll be less attractive than if I doll up. Any celebrity or actress in the wild would be less good looking without help.

I think there is a DMV type that looks good. But agree it’s not one who works. Sorry. Working tires you and unless you already have good bone structure you won’t be able to be at that level. That horrible lighting in offices does horrors to skin quality. I don’t live in the DMV but use to, agree people there are bland.

Couldn't agree more about the working. Even my husband has noticed this about women who work. He says they all have the same tired look and more wrinkles, and most are overweight.

Agree. But why do working women look better elsewhere? I’m specifically thinking of New York. Worked in banking there and the hours were no joke, but most of my females colleagues were fit, well-dressed, and some were downright beautiful (face). Here I know women who work in not nearly as stressful sectors and they are mostly homely and overweight, especially in the 30 and up demographic.

Because in more competitive professional environments like law, finance, consulting, competence is judged at least partially on how well a person is dressed and groomed. This doesn’t mean they need to look like a Kardashian, but they should at minimum look well groomed like a Kate Middleton or Michelle Obama. Clothes, hair, makeup. I’ll never fail to be shocked at the women who protest, “well I’m clean.“ Like damn, the bar is that low?!

Think back to the movie My Cousin Vinny. The lead is on trial for murder and is deeply worried when Danny DeVito comes in looking sloppy in an extremely dated, loud suit. Sure, DeVito eventually proves his competence in the end. But how many people are going to get that second chance at a first impression? Very few, especially women and especially women of color.

I’m a woman of color, so this hits really close to home. I’m already very much into beauty and fashion, so I make sure to present my myself nicely on a regular basis. I often don’t get a second crack at the first impression apple. And that’s even though I have a law degree from Harvard.

Agreed. I think it is absolutely a kind of white privilege to be able to go into a store as an adult wearing pajama bottoms without getting followed around bc they think you are a shoplifter. You have to do more social signaling with your appearance as a nonwhite person to get the same default respect. I therefore prefer settings where the norm is to put some effort in so it feels less racial to me.

Yeah, me too, I plan to eschew stores that feel racist for those who are just classist.

Oh, wait.
https://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2013/aug/09/oprah-winfrey-swiss-apology-racist-treatment

You missed my point completely.

[Anonymous]

I remember in the 80’s when my Dad’s office started “casual Friday”. He wore khakis and a buttoned down Oxford. Now that’s considered being dressed up!

[Anonymous]

So much wrong with this thread and its premise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think women are particularly bad looking here, I just think women don't prioritize looking well put together. That was not always the case. I thought women dressed MUCH better here in the 80s and 90s. I don't know what happened. I still dress everyday and get compliments every day. I just don't understand why other women don't care. My husband also believes in dressing well.

I'm a millennial, and I feel this to some degree when I go to an event with women in their 20s. Or they're at the gym in crop tops + bellies, which to some extent I admire the body positivity around, but also, I would never.

But I assume the answer to "why don't they care?" is that they like how they look, it feels good, the people they're interested in impressing *also* like how they look, and they're not trying to impress me or you.