Reply to DMV Beauty Reality Check

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Most people are around average-looking. Beauty is more or less normally distributed. Don't let grooming fool you. [/quote]

But shouldn’t it count for something- doing the best with what you have?

I will admit OP’s sentiments came into my head because of the recent post on How Would Men Rate You (or something like that). There were a lot of high scores but then looking at the real world, everyone looks fine, normal, average. I’ve been going to NYC for work lately and have ended up with the same impression. When I started work in my 20s, I couldn’t believe the difference in how NYC womenpresented themselves and I presented myself. Now at 50, it’s all kind of mushed in the middle. [/quote]

It's 2024. We are in the middle of an overweight/obesity epidemic. Taking care of yourself matters a great deal. And PP's "don't let grooming fool you" only takes the position that perfect grooming can't make up for a lack of genetics and [b]fails to consider the negative consequences of average or less grooming, when others make an effort. [/b]

I think perhaps you are seeing less effort in NYC because culture has changed post-pandemic. Years of sitting in the house in pajamas and no makeup changed us. [/quote]

And what might those negative consequences be?  You are either a man or a women with little life experience.  We are entering a new era where empowered women are rejecting the beauty standards valued by men.  Look at Alicia Keys (who stopped wearing makeup in 2016 and has now created her own beauty line and approached 'beauty' from a different perspective) and Pamela Anderson. There's nothing wrong with wearing makeup and attention to 'grooming' unless not doing it makes you feel less or unattractive.  That's when it becomes pathological.

I've never met the standards of a 'beauty'.  At best, I'm cute.  I have great skin, curly hair and smile but I'm short, curvy and, until the Kardashians, had too much booty and boobs.  But, the biggest turn off for guys was my intellect.  Many men found me attractive, particularly my confidence but only secure men continued to find me attractive (except for those guys who just wanted to get laid).  I would have been fine being single forever and, in fact, expected to be until I met DH and we got married when I was 35.

If the 'negative consequence' you note is that I'm not attractive enough to men, you are part of the problem.  This isn't a competition and women no longer need marriage to survive, have kids or a fulfilling life. [/quote]

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