finding fwb safely

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:well this thread went sideways and never got back on track.

Actually it’s right on track: OP was asking where to find a fwb safely. Commenters told its not online

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm shocked people care so much about HSV which is a nuisance and not HIV, given DC has a pretty high rate of HIV.

I wish people wouldn’t just say things without backing them up with statistics. It’s an actual crime to have sex with someone and not disclose that you have HIV. Plus-no matter how you want to spin it, HIV is still very much most prevalent in the gay and needle drug communities. And there are preventives that are pretty much given to the gay community like candy these days. The rate of HIV has gone down consistently. It’s also still a thing for homeless/sex worker/drug users to have babies with HIV but by and large it’s not typically straight people who aren’t doing drugs who are getting new cases.

I would be way more afraid of herpes and syphilis.

Seems like most people already have herpes.

Globally, 67% of the population has herpes simplex virus. Many do not know they have it. Genital herpes occurs in 13% of the global population. In the U.S., 48% of the population have HSV-1, whereas 12% have HSV-2.

https://khealth.com/learn/herpes/statistics/#:~:text=Globally%2C%2067%25%20of%20the%20population%20has%20herpes%20simplex%20virus.,12%25%20have%20HSV%2D2.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm shocked people care so much about HSV which is a nuisance and not HIV, given DC has a pretty high rate of HIV.

I wish people wouldn’t just say things without backing them up with statistics. It’s an actual crime to have sex with someone and not disclose that you have HIV. Plus-no matter how you want to spin it, HIV is still very much most prevalent in the gay and needle drug communities. And there are preventives that are pretty much given to the gay community like candy these days. The rate of HIV has gone down consistently. It’s also still a thing for homeless/sex worker/drug users to have babies with HIV but by and large it’s not typically straight people who aren’t doing drugs who are getting new cases.

I would be way more afraid of herpes and syphilis.

Seems like most people already have herpes.

Globally, 67% of the population has herpes simplex virus. Many do not know they have it. Genital herpes occurs in 13% of the global population. In the U.S., 48% of the population have HSV-1, whereas 12% have HSV-2.

https://khealth.com/learn/herpes/statistics/#:~:text=Globally%2C%2067%25%20of%20the%20population%20has%20herpes%20simplex%20virus.,12%25%20have%20HSV%2D2.

48% is not “most”. It’s less than a half

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm shocked people care so much about HSV which is a nuisance and not HIV, given DC has a pretty high rate of HIV.

I wish people wouldn’t just say things without backing them up with statistics. It’s an actual crime to have sex with someone and not disclose that you have HIV. Plus-no matter how you want to spin it, HIV is still very much most prevalent in the gay and needle drug communities. And there are preventives that are pretty much given to the gay community like candy these days. The rate of HIV has gone down consistently. It’s also still a thing for homeless/sex worker/drug users to have babies with HIV but by and large it’s not typically straight people who aren’t doing drugs who are getting new cases.

I would be way more afraid of herpes and syphilis.

Seems like most people already have herpes.

Globally, 67% of the population has herpes simplex virus. Many do not know they have it. Genital herpes occurs in 13% of the global population. In the U.S., 48% of the population have HSV-1, whereas 12% have HSV-2.

https://khealth.com/learn/herpes/statistics/#:~:text=Globally%2C%2067%25%20of%20the%20population%20has%20herpes%20simplex%20virus.,12%25%20have%20HSV%2D2.

48% is not “most”. It’s less than a half

Try addition. It's great!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My answer as a woman who is dating for a little over a year on OLD: no, there is no chance to find an STD-free FWB. Men who seek for a relationship will be offended and will stray. Men who only seek sex will have infections. I bought a toy and vaginal cream, happy like a clam while dating looking for a real connection.

I don't have the time and money to waste on these arrangements take more time and medical check-ups after

So you really think every person who is interested in a FWB situation has an Std? What world are you living in?

OP-most sexually active adults try to be responsible. Meaning-they will get tested before or after a sexual encounter. And sometimes both. This is even MORE true for people who are married and engaging in extracurricular activities. Most know the stakes are high and won’t take that kind of chance. Contrary to what people constantly spout on this board-most people aren’t actively walking around with stds and spreading them.

This is so not true. At least back from when I was dating 20+ years ago. I had 20+ partners. Only one ever asked me to get tested. That's the only time I ever tested (negative). And I never asked anyone to get tested.

Yea, men are very reckless with STD testing. A lot of people on apps have HSV2; HSV1 is a pretty much a norm but I still wouldn't want to catch it for something totally casual like FWB. I would only see a man with HSV1 if I was seriously crazy about him and had hopes for a relationship/saw relationship potential

“A lot of people on apps have HSV2”. Um no. A responsible person will disclose this. And I don’t have any idea how you think you would know a lot of people have this without knowing them? Weird. Anyway, it only takes one person in the situation to be responsible “get tested or we are not having sex”. Easy.

Of course yes. 70% of the population has it. You think 70% of the profiles disclose this or people do in person? No.

You are talking about HSV1. 70% of the population does not have genital herpes.

+1 Most people have HSV1. That is not an STD. HSV2 is...less than 15 percent of the population has that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My answer as a woman who is dating for a little over a year on OLD: no, there is no chance to find an STD-free FWB. Men who seek for a relationship will be offended and will stray. Men who only seek sex will have infections. I bought a toy and vaginal cream, happy like a clam while dating looking for a real connection.

I don't have the time and money to waste on these arrangements take more time and medical check-ups after

So you really think every person who is interested in a FWB situation has an Std? What world are you living in?

OP-most sexually active adults try to be responsible. Meaning-they will get tested before or after a sexual encounter. And sometimes both. This is even MORE true for people who are married and engaging in extracurricular activities. Most know the stakes are high and won’t take that kind of chance. Contrary to what people constantly spout on this board-most people aren’t actively walking around with stds and spreading them.

This is so not true. At least back from when I was dating 20+ years ago. I had 20+ partners. Only one ever asked me to get tested. That's the only time I ever tested (negative). And I never asked anyone to get tested.

DP. I am mid 40s. I have less partners that you. I am seeing a 27-year-old. We both got tested first. I ask everyone for test results first. Always have. He brought it up as well. Same goes for older men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My answer as a woman who is dating for a little over a year on OLD: no, there is no chance to find an STD-free FWB. Men who seek for a relationship will be offended and will stray. Men who only seek sex will have infections. I bought a toy and vaginal cream, happy like a clam while dating looking for a real connection.

I don't have the time and money to waste on these arrangements take more time and medical check-ups after

So you really think every person who is interested in a FWB situation has an Std? What world are you living in?

OP-most sexually active adults try to be responsible. Meaning-they will get tested before or after a sexual encounter. And sometimes both. This is even MORE true for people who are married and engaging in extracurricular activities. Most know the stakes are high and won’t take that kind of chance. Contrary to what people constantly spout on this board-most people aren’t actively walking around with stds and spreading them.

This is so not true. At least back from when I was dating 20+ years ago. I had 20+ partners. Only one ever asked me to get tested. That's the only time I ever tested (negative). And I never asked anyone to get tested.

Yea, men are very reckless with STD testing. A lot of people on apps have HSV2; HSV1 is a pretty much a norm but I still wouldn't want to catch it for something totally casual like FWB. I would only see a man with HSV1 if I was seriously crazy about him and had hopes for a relationship/saw relationship potential

“A lot of people on apps have HSV2”. Um no. A responsible person will disclose this. And I don’t have any idea how you think you would know a lot of people have this without knowing them? Weird. Anyway, it only takes one person in the situation to be responsible “get tested or we are not having sex”. Easy.

Of course yes. 70% of the population has it. You think 70% of the profiles disclose this or people do in person? No.

You are talking about HSV1. 70% of the population does not have genital herpes.

+1 Most people have HSV1. That is not an STD. HSV2 is...less than 15 percent of the population has that.

No most people don’t have it. 48% have it; and if you date white it’s 35%. And it causes genital herpes just like hsv2 so definitely worth knowing beforehand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My answer as a woman who is dating for a little over a year on OLD: no, there is no chance to find an STD-free FWB. Men who seek for a relationship will be offended and will stray. Men who only seek sex will have infections. I bought a toy and vaginal cream, happy like a clam while dating looking for a real connection.

I don't have the time and money to waste on these arrangements take more time and medical check-ups after

So you really think every person who is interested in a FWB situation has an Std? What world are you living in?

OP-most sexually active adults try to be responsible. Meaning-they will get tested before or after a sexual encounter. And sometimes both. This is even MORE true for people who are married and engaging in extracurricular activities. Most know the stakes are high and won’t take that kind of chance. Contrary to what people constantly spout on this board-most people aren’t actively walking around with stds and spreading them.

This is so not true. At least back from when I was dating 20+ years ago. I had 20+ partners. Only one ever asked me to get tested. That's the only time I ever tested (negative). And I never asked anyone to get tested.

DP. I am mid 40s. I have less partners that you. I am seeing a 27-year-old. We both got tested first. I ask everyone for test results first. Always have. He brought it up as well. Same goes for older men.

Cool that’s a rate exception

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My answer as a woman who is dating for a little over a year on OLD: no, there is no chance to find an STD-free FWB. Men who seek for a relationship will be offended and will stray. Men who only seek sex will have infections. I bought a toy and vaginal cream, happy like a clam while dating looking for a real connection.

I don't have the time and money to waste on these arrangements take more time and medical check-ups after

So you really think every person who is interested in a FWB situation has an Std? What world are you living in?

OP-most sexually active adults try to be responsible. Meaning-they will get tested before or after a sexual encounter. And sometimes both. This is even MORE true for people who are married and engaging in extracurricular activities. Most know the stakes are high and won’t take that kind of chance. Contrary to what people constantly spout on this board-most people aren’t actively walking around with stds and spreading them.

This is so not true. At least back from when I was dating 20+ years ago. I had 20+ partners. Only one ever asked me to get tested. That's the only time I ever tested (negative). And I never asked anyone to get tested.

DP. I am mid 40s. I have less partners that you. I am seeing a 27-year-old. We both got tested first. I ask everyone for test results first. Always have. He brought it up as well. Same goes for older men.

Cool that’s a rate exception

I think more people are asking than people want to believe. I think with becoming more “sex positive” it’s also becoming more focused on the safety aspect. Nobody wants an std. And typically the people who truly don’t care already have their lives in shambles (drugs, homeless etc…).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone has herpes, most people are exposed to type 1 by age 5. Very few people have outbreaks after the initial early exposure. Because it’s so ubiquitous, doctors never test you for type 1 (when you get a std test) unless you specifically ask (and even then they hesitate.) Chances are you have antibodies for it and don’t even remember getting it.

https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseases/herpes-hsv1-and-hsv2#:~:text=Fifty%20to%2080%20percent%20of,in%20or%20around%20the%20mouth.

No, not everyone has it. it's actually 35% for HSV1, 14% HSV2 for white non-Hispanic adults, according to your own link. And HSV infections are going down, due to anti virals use.

Anyway, this is a factor to consider: if someone is negative there is no need to get infected through casual unprotected sex. I wouldn't care if my long term partner had it though

No, my link said that anywhere from 50% to 80% or the population has type 1. The thing is they don’t know the precise number. It’s an estimate based on many different samples with different results. Very few people who have type 1 have any breakouts.

I, for one, have no idea if I have type 1, but I’m assuming I do because even though I’ve never had a cold sore, I’ve been exposed to people who have them repeatedly.

It’s actually protective in the dating world to have type 1. It doesn’t completely eliminate your chance of getting type 2, but it greatly reduces it, especially if you don’t get outbreaks. It means that your immune system has herpes under control and isn’t going to get any other version of it.

Of all the things in the works, herpes 1 is the last thing I would worry about unless you’re an infant.

[Anonymous]

Thank you PP. Someone who is rationale and has scientific/medical understanding. The paranoia on this site over STIs is astounding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:53, drug and alcohol free. Annapolis area

but STDs? Lol

No STD’s. Don’t sleep around, thank you very much!
Anything else?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank you PP. Someone who is rationale and has scientific/medical understanding. The paranoia on this site over STIs is astounding.

PP has no clue. HSV-1 antibody had no effect on the rate of acquiring HSV-2 infection (the HSV-2 seroconversion rate was 5.1 vs. 5.2 per 100 person-years in those who did and did not have preexisting HSV-1 antibody).
And it’s not 80% of population, according to their link. It goes by gender, race and age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thank you PP. Someone who is rationale and has scientific/medical understanding. The paranoia on this site over STIs is astounding.

PP has no clue. HSV-1 antibody had no effect on the rate of acquiring HSV-2 infection (the HSV-2 seroconversion rate was 5.1 vs. 5.2 per 100 person-years in those who did and did not have preexisting HSV-1 antibody).
And it’s not 80% of population, according to their link. It goes by gender, race and age.

Here is the link again since you seem to be confused. It’s from Johns Hopkins and clearly states that between 50 to 80% of the population has herpes 1:

https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseases/herpes-hsv1-and-hsv2#:~:text=Fifty%20to%2080%20percent%20of,in%20or%20around%20the%20mouth.

Again, no one knows the precise number because it is so ubiquitous and minor. And yes, having type 1 is protective, though not preventative for type 2. Again, this isn’t really known or much studied. There are way more important issues that the medical profession doesn’t know about like cancer and schizophrenia. Herpes is put on the back burner.

[Anonymous]

It’s a FRIEND.