finding fwb safely

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous]

Wash Post article requires a subscription. I disagree that almost everyone has herpes and no need to test. You cite an older research article from 1994 when this infection was in fact more common. And in fact it states “The seroprevalence of HSV-2 was higher in persons with HSV-1 antibody”. Just the opposite of what you say. hsv1 is just as common the cause of genital herpes as hsv2. The more recent research from 2016 shows it’s now 35% hsv1 positive in white male population, for example. This happened due to raising awareness, testing and anti vitals use. [b]Yes if you add up US totals for all races it’s more than 50%[/b]. But people more commonly date within their own race than inter racially. For Asians hsv1 rate it’s under 10% as they tend to date/marry within their race which historically had very low % of hsv.
What I’m trying to say is that people should try to minimize the exposures to infections when dating, and not date based on premise than “everyone has it”. Not everyone has either herpes - I met many people who don’t (I date white men). These people did test regularly and used protection or were in long marriages. In some couples one spouse is positive but they are careful so the other spouse remains negative. I hate it when someone positive tries to present my need to be protected as something abnormal and coerces into types of sex I don’t want at early dating stages, just because they could have an infection.
And hopefully herpes vaccine comes soon.[/quote]

Not sure you can add percentages of vastly different population sizes

[Anonymous]

I think the best and safest way is to actually date for a relationship to weed out the gross guys who are sleeping with lots of people. That means putting in your profile that you want a relationship, because in a way, you do - you want something longterm and monogamous and open in terms of health just not with emotional entanglement. There are definitely nice guys who you won't want to be serious with, so after going on a few dates, just say "I don't think this will lead to anything serious but I am attracted to you."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the best and safest way is to actually date for a relationship to weed out the gross guys who are sleeping with lots of people. That means putting in your profile that you want a relationship, because in a way, you do - you want something longterm and monogamous and open in terms of health just not with emotional entanglement. There are definitely nice guys who you won't want to be serious with, so after going on a few dates, just say "I don't think this will lead to anything serious but I am attracted to you."

Why would he agree to long term monogamy with someone who has no interest in being his actual girlfriend?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The truth is women who make the decision to have FWB will delusionally lie to themselves that the man they are sleeping with will never give them an STD. The problem is that man sleeping with you without condoms may have slept with a other woman without condoms the same week. Or are you asking him to show you a full panel very week?
Get that stupidity out your mind that this man is "exclusive" to you. You are just another piece of ass to pump and dump. Dont get it twisted. You are not special and never will be.

It's a miracle women ever fsck men. It really is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the best and safest way is to actually date for a relationship to weed out the gross guys who are sleeping with lots of people. That means putting in your profile that you want a relationship, because in a way, you do - you want something longterm and monogamous and open in terms of health just not with emotional entanglement. There are definitely nice guys who you won't want to be serious with, so after going on a few dates, just say "I don't think this will lead to anything serious but I am attracted to you."

Why would he agree to long term monogamy with someone who has no interest in being his actual girlfriend?

I’m not the PP. But I tried to pull this trick with 2 men who were looking for a relationship. One agreed but exited after 3 months as it wasn’t enough for him. The other didn’t agree calling it “self-destroying “ and useless arrangement. I didn’t want them for LTR for different reasons (no match in non-psychical areas).