Handling racist and homophobic comments from DC friend and their parents

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. When something similar happened when my DC was in middle school (racist but not homophobic language), my DC punched the perpetrator, knocked him down, and told him that he’d do worse if he heard the language again. The perpetrator wasn’t hurt but everyone on the playground saw it. My DC then got a half-hearted detention from the principal along with verbal messaging that standing up and defending his friends was a good thing to do. The principal didn’t even call us; I only found out about the incident because a friend heard about it from her kid. From what I heard, the problem ended quickly.

Playground justice does work for stuff like this.

I doubt it. Violence is not tolerated no matter how noble the reason. Zero tolerance for fighting. Kids can’t knock someone to the ground because they don’t like what the person said. There’s no way a principal would let it go.

Every day there are kids using racist and cruel language. Imagine if everyone got into a physical fight over it?

They did. It was called The Civil War.

Ok. It did not happen that way. Principals cannot tolerate physical violence.

My high school daughter had her phone stolen out of her backpack in the side pocket when she was in the hall. One girl bumped her while the other took the phone. She chased them down, tried to grab the phone. There was a small scuffle and they both got suspended for zero tolerance on fighting. Not all that fair that the one girl stole her phone and my daughter was taking back what was hers and they both got suspended. But that’s how it went.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry but I just find this story extremely difficult to believe in this area in 2024.
Not saying it’s impossible but I just don’t find it realistic to believe that you wouldn’t have noticed this from this boy or from his family before now if this were their character.

Why is there always on commenter that doesn’t believe anything?

I tend to agree though. Sounds like there are few minorities at this school, which likely means it is a wealthier area. And since OPs son has been hanging out over this boys house frequently, it’s fair to assume OP thought the parents seems normal and are educated. Therefore, yes, I find it hard to believe educated parents seemingly normal parents are referring to black people as the n word, monkeys, and using the word fag. I don’t know anyone who would speak this this. Even in private.

Of course, it does not happen to you or around you so it must not be real.

[Anonymous]

The Roblox info was super relevant. Thanks

[Anonymous]

OP - i think you are blowing things out of proportion. If you don't want your kid to be friends with this guy - fine. otherwise, forget it and move on.

Why would anyone do this? What does it teach your kid? How does it address the behavior? If there's a bully, physically hitting a kid, do you teach your kid to look the other way and "move on." Racism grows when it's tolerated and allowed because silence is construed as acceptance.

[Anonymous]

I would talk to the school not on behalf of gays and black but on behalf of all kids and parents! I don’t want my kid in an environment where racist and homophopic comments are tolerated

What do you expect the school to do? The kid has the right to free speech and the right to have his own opinions. That includes offensive speech. Schools aren't thought police (thankfully).

Sure, keep your own child away from the family, but calling the school and expecting them to do anything is unreasonable.

And what is with the comment that non-whites can't be racist? Of course they can. Racism is the idea of having an opinion or prejudice against somoene simply because of membership in a particular racial group.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry but I just find this story extremely difficult to believe in this area in 2024.
Not saying it’s impossible but I just don’t find it realistic to believe that you wouldn’t have noticed this from this boy or from his family before now if this were their character.

I've got the best deal on a bridge. Everyone is saying it's the best deal they've ever seen. You'll love bridge ownership.

But seriously, how do you think you learn things about people? Typically by spending time with them. Very few people roll up to a PTA meeting and drop the N word and call people fags.

My kid got called the N word in class (he is white) by a black kid. I told the school because the language isn't appropriate and guess what? His parents were horrified.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry but I just find this story extremely difficult to believe in this area in 2024.
Not saying it’s impossible but I just don’t find it realistic to believe that you wouldn’t have noticed this from this boy or from his family before now if this were their character.

I've got the best deal on a bridge. Everyone is saying it's the best deal they've ever seen. You'll love bridge ownership.

But seriously, how do you think you learn things about people? Typically by spending time with them. Very few people roll up to a PTA meeting and drop the N word and call people fags.

My kid got called the N word in class (he is white) by a black kid. I told the school because the language isn't appropriate and guess what? His parents were horrified.

Was it in a derogatory way or as a friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is insane. This parent is clearly one of the good ones who cares about something that doesn’t harm her but she knows isn’t right.
I would report the kid AND the mom so administration knows. My kids go to a predominantly white and Asian school and they have heard the N word more than I have ever had. It doesn’t matter how liberal the school is - racism and stereotypes exist and our kids especially at this age should not have to deal with it alone.

What authority do you think a middle school has over an adult’s statements in their own home?

Some of these responses seem so LaLaLand.