PSA - If your kids are dating, make sure they have birth control!

[Anonymous]

We got to know the girlfriend's parents. They have her use Nexplanon.

I know some kids are different but (with these two) we are not counting on willpower or correct actions in the moment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DD has friends who are not dating but have still had sex.

DD has friends who meet random men (yes, men in their 20s) on the internet. They meet up to have sex. This is at an elite private high school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know a private school that for a homework assignment requires kids to go to a local CVS and purchased condoms and provide the receipt to the teacher.
The point is - if you are uncomfortable buying condoms - you might want to think twice about if you are ready to have sex.

I know many will talk about the injustice of the assignment - but if nothing else, it gets the kids talking.

Troll

On that note, I made my son do this when he was a young teen. If I remember correctly I think I made him buy condoms and tampons while I watched from the aisle to ensure he did it. He wasn't embarrassed and didn't care but I wanted to make sure. I also had condoms available in the bathroom cabinet and had many discussions about birth control. The discussions were not like I hope you don't do that but if you do, but more like I expect you will be doing this and taking precautions needs to be part of the plan. With that said I didn't allow private time with girlfriends in my house during high school.

Had I had a girl I would have put her on the pill or IUD to "regulate her period." I wouldn't want any teenage carelessness getting things off track for my kid

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please, if your kid is dating, even if you don't "think" they're having sex, provide them with birth control. Even better, two kinds!

DD recently accompanied her friend (16) to the drugstore to get Plan B because "the condom broke." Yes, a condom is a start but friend is not on BC.

Yes, DD is on BC.

This is so common (thank God Plan B is still legal!).

But it is easy to avoid, if only well-meaning parents who provide quality condoms, would just also supply lube. And instruct kids to use it.

The “lubricated condoms” are really misleading in that so little lube is present, it is quickly rubbed off. But make sure to provide a condom-compatible lube.

Some lubes can actually weaken latex condoms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know a private school that for a homework assignment requires kids to go to a local CVS and purchased condoms and provide the receipt to the teacher.
The point is - if you are uncomfortable buying condoms - you might want to think twice about if you are ready to have sex.

I know many will talk about the injustice of the assignment - but if nothing else, it gets the kids talking.

Troll

On that note, I made my son do this when he was a young teen. If I remember correctly I think I made him buy condoms and tampons while I watched from the aisle to ensure he did it. He wasn't embarrassed and didn't care but I wanted to make sure. I also had condoms available in the bathroom cabinet and had many discussions about birth control. The discussions were not like I hope you don't do that but if you do, but more like I expect you will be doing this and taking precautions needs to be part of the plan. With that said I didn't allow private time with girlfriends in my house during high school.

Had I had a girl I would have put her on the pill or IUD to "regulate her period." I wouldn't want any teenage carelessness getting things off track for my kid

I would never lie to my kid and say she needed to be on the pill to "regulate her period." Getting on the pill too young for an extended period of time can compromise your future fertility. I know a woman that was put on the pill to regulate her period. It took her ten years of secondary fertility to conceive her second child. If you are going to put your child on the pill/IUD, at least be honest about the side effects.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree with OP. My kids had also gone with a friend to get plan B. Since I have condoms in the house for safe teen planning “just in case,” you should know many kids have come by to take some from my kid. And…they tell my kid they wish they could talk to their parents about this but they can’t.

Oh look. It’s the cool mom. You have the alcohol too, right?

Cool mom, but not a young grandma or mom to dead kids. I'll take that any day.

.

I’m sorry; how did we go from handling out condoms like candy, to having dead kids? You’ve really bought into the progressive parenting movement hook, line and sinker.

Why don’t you just try being an active parent instead of trying to be their best friend?

Because forbidding teenagers from having sex is such an effective tactic?

yes, it is. you should try it sometime.

+1000. Still don’t get the “dead kids” line and what it has to do with this discussion unless PP needs this level of hyperbole.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t need to be 21 to buy condoms. Using condoms can’t kill someone if you get behind the wheel. Stop comparing apples to oranges.

If they’re not mature enough to get their own condoms. Whether that be from the counselors office at school, or asking for a store employee to unlock the antitheft case and then have the cashier ring them up—then they’re not mature enough for sex.

No one decides to have sex because of condom availability, if that’s what you’re trying to say. They have sex because they want to, and if condoms are readily available, they have safer sex. That mom is doing nothing wrong by having them on offer.

actually, they do. you send the message to you kids that is ok for your them to have sex. presumably this is the message you want to send. but don't pretend boxes of condoms have no implications.

No. They will have sex or not. Abstinence programs don’t work.

What is an “abstinence program”? My parents made it clear they didn’t want me to have sex in HS, and I didn’t. Simple.

Same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know a private school that for a homework assignment requires kids to go to a local CVS and purchased condoms and provide the receipt to the teacher.
The point is - if you are uncomfortable buying condoms - you might want to think twice about if you are ready to have sex.

I know many will talk about the injustice of the assignment - but if nothing else, it gets the kids talking.

“Injustice” of this assignment? How about the immorality and huge overstepping of this assignment? The school would hear from me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree with OP. My kids had also gone with a friend to get plan B. Since I have condoms in the house for safe teen planning “just in case,” you should know many kids have come by to take some from my kid. And…they tell my kid they wish they could talk to their parents about this but they can’t.

Oh look. It’s the cool mom. You have the alcohol too, right?

How am I the cool mom? I bought them for my family and my kid gives them to friends who ask. I’m not handing them out nor am I talking to these kids about it. Are you suggesting I tell my kids: if people ask, no, they cannot have a condom? Or maybe my kid should say: have you considered abstinence? Or: we need your mom’s okay first.

.

If you give my minor child - boy or girl- a condom, yes I expect you to let me know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t need to be 21 to buy condoms. Using condoms can’t kill someone if you get behind the wheel. Stop comparing apples to oranges.

If they’re not mature enough to get their own condoms. Whether that be from the counselors office at school, or asking for a store employee to unlock the antitheft case and then have the cashier ring them up—then they’re not mature enough for sex.

No one decides to have sex because of condom availability, if that’s what you’re trying to say. They have sex because they want to, and if condoms are readily available, they have safer sex. That mom is doing nothing wrong by having them on offer.

actually, they do. you send the message to you kids that is ok for your them to have sex. presumably this is the message you want to send. but don't pretend boxes of condoms have no implications.

No. They will have sex or not. Abstinence programs don’t work.

What is an “abstinence program”? My parents made it clear they didn’t want me to have sex in HS, and I didn’t. Simple.

Same.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree with OP. My kids had also gone with a friend to get plan B. Since I have condoms in the house for safe teen planning “just in case,” you should know many kids have come by to take some from my kid. And…they tell my kid they wish they could talk to their parents about this but they can’t.

Oh look. It’s the cool mom. You have the alcohol too, right?

Cool mom, but not a young grandma or mom to dead kids. I'll take that any day.

.

I’m sorry; how did we go from handling out condoms like candy, to having dead kids? You’ve really bought into the progressive parenting movement hook, line and sinker.

Why don’t you just try being an active parent instead of trying to be their best friend?

Because forbidding teenagers from having sex is such an effective tactic?

yes, it is. you should try it sometime.

+1000. Still don’t get the “dead kids” line and what it has to do with this discussion unless PP needs this level of hyperbole.

NP but I think PP was referring to the dangers of pregnancy and childbirth, which are exacerbated if the mother is exceedingly young. I also think that’s pretty hyperbolic but not wholly inaccurate. I plan to have birth control available to my kids when they’re teens because I don’t think teens having a safe fully consensual sex is the end of the world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DD has friends who are not dating but have still had sex.

Exactly. There is more sex outside of dating. You don’t wait until your kid is dating to start the BC options.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t need to be 21 to buy condoms. Using condoms can’t kill someone if you get behind the wheel. Stop comparing apples to oranges.

This!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree with OP. My kids had also gone with a friend to get plan B. Since I have condoms in the house for safe teen planning “just in case,” you should know many kids have come by to take some from my kid. And…they tell my kid they wish they could talk to their parents about this but they can’t.

Oh look. It’s the cool mom. You have the alcohol too, right?

How am I the cool mom? I bought them for my family and my kid gives them to friends who ask. I’m not handing them out nor am I talking to these kids about it. Are you suggesting I tell my kids: if people ask, no, they cannot have a condom? Or maybe my kid should say: have you considered abstinence? Or: we need your mom’s okay first.

.

If you give my minor child - boy or girl- a condom, yes I expect you to let me know.

For the 3rd time: I am not giving anyone condoms but my kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t need to be 21 to buy condoms. Using condoms can’t kill someone if you get behind the wheel. Stop comparing apples to oranges.

If they’re not mature enough to get their own condoms. Whether that be from the counselors office at school, or asking for a store employee to unlock the antitheft case and then have the cashier ring them up—then they’re not mature enough for sex.

No one decides to have sex because of condom availability, if that’s what you’re trying to say. They have sex because they want to, and if condoms are readily available, they have safer sex. That mom is doing nothing wrong by having them on offer.

actually, they do. you send the message to you kids that is ok for your them to have sex. presumably this is the message you want to send. but don't pretend boxes of condoms have no implications.

No. They will have sex or not. Abstinence programs don’t work.

What is an “abstinence program”? My parents made it clear they didn’t want me to have sex in HS, and I didn’t. Simple.

Same.

+1. Parents can’t control anything 100%, but that doesn’t mean we should throw up our hands & give up.

Also, People need to warn their sons not to have sex with anyone with whom they don’t want to be tied to for life. If a condom (the only BC the male controls) breaks & a pregnancy occurs, he has zero say in whether the child is carried to term, and will be financially & paternally responsible for any resulting child. No birth control is 100% effective, no matter how much people don’t like to hear that.