I can have a woman with a good career or good looks but not both

[Anonymous]

“I need to be vague on purpose”

New one troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not complaining just saying. I can attract women who are either cute but broke with no career prospects, or have a good career but aren’t conventionally attractive. This is because I’m not a terribly attractive man myself due to some genetically determined features that I can’t control (being vague here on purpose).

I have dated both types but I find myself happier with the cute broke women. Why is this?

Don't turn her down. Turn her around.
Problem solved.

[Anonymous]

don't compromise your standards king you deserve it all! Don't settle for some dusty!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:don't compromise your standards king you deserve it all! Don't settle for some dusty!

Thank you Shera! Just keep paying the bills and all will be well.

[Anonymous]

Date who you are happier with.

I’m a woman and most of my closest friends are kind of broke. Frankly, their lives a little easier, they are less anxious, and their schedules are a little more flexible.
It’s logistically easier to hang out with them, and they are more likely to be in a good mood when we do.

[Anonymous]

The cute broke woman is simpler, although you do have to provide for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:don't compromise your standards king you deserve it all! Don't settle for some dusty!

I see what you did there.

https://youtu.be/5OZkHZRbb6Y?si=v7uF3XJ8kpA0R_AI

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, well, marriage is a market. And clearly you only have a certain amount of "buying power."

My advice is this: bear in mind that looks fade.

It can go either way though... if a woman isn't attractive in her 20s-30s things typically go downhill pretty quickly making the situation even worse whereas many attractive women try to maintain their looks

Well, yeah -- but you can only "maintain" for so long and only to a certain extent. Even if you are great at maintaining your looks, they will go south to a certain extent at some point, and they matter a lot less 20 years into a relationship. Twenty years into a relationship financial/career success still matters (at least to the people it mattered to to begin with, and it apparently does matter to OP).

At any rate, looks and success are pretty much always the biggest factors that people consider (with most men putting looks first and most women putting finances/"success" first, but that can vary), but it truly is an all-facts-and-circumstances kind of thing with personality, family of origin, emotional stability, shared experiences/hobbies, life priorities, humor, etc playing a role as well.

I remember when I was in law school this guy who was about a 5 or 6 was talking about asking out one of our female peers who was about an 8, and as he walked away my friend shook his head and said "Some people just never get that there is a hierarchy." There is. OP shouldn't be this confused about that this late in life -- he isn't high enough in the hierarchy himself to attract women who score highly on both of those top factors: looks and success. The women who have both looks and financial success are probably going to expect both, or a great deal of one or the other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do you think you deserve a woman who is both attractive and wealthy and successful? What do you offer her in return?

Why do so many people think “I want” = “I deserve”? Such terrible reading comprehension.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, well, marriage is a market. And clearly you only have a certain amount of "buying power."

My advice is this: bear in mind that looks fade.

It can go either way though... if a woman isn't attractive in her 20s-30s things typically go downhill pretty quickly making the situation even worse whereas many attractive women try to maintain their looks

Well, yeah -- but you can only "maintain" for so long and only to a certain extent. Even if you are great at maintaining your looks, they will go south to a certain extent at some point, and they matter a lot less 20 years into a relationship. Twenty years into a relationship financial/career success still matters (at least to the people it mattered to to begin with, and it apparently does matter to OP).

At any rate, looks and success are pretty much always the biggest factors that people consider (with most men putting looks first and most women putting finances/"success" first, but that can vary), but it truly is an all-facts-and-circumstances kind of thing with personality, family of origin, emotional stability, shared experiences/hobbies, life priorities, humor, etc playing a role as well.

I remember when I was in law school this guy who was about a 5 or 6 was talking about asking out one of our female peers who was about an 8, and as he walked away my friend shook his head and said "Some people just never get that there is a hierarchy." There is. OP shouldn't be this confused about that this late in life -- he isn't high enough in the hierarchy himself to attract women who score highly on both of those top factors: looks and success. The women who have both looks and financial success are probably going to expect both, or a great deal of one or the other.

This. Women with looks and success will not settle for someone unsuccessful. Women are likelier to give on looks, so if OP is successful, he may be able to find both, but OP doesn't sound very successful. Once successful and attractive women have passed childbearing years, many women favor youth and looks in a partner (not a potential spouse, just a partner) over success.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Short men need to seal the deal in college when being short might be endearing to some cute women, or make $$$$.

OP at 33, you have really missed the window. I advise actually trying to date divorced women with kids.

You're ridiculous

+1. He is 33…not 45

[Anonymous]

I had good looks and a good career when I met DH. I earned more money than he did when we got married. I’m now in my late forties and my looks are fading and no longer work. We do have 3 amazing kids.

Why can’t you find someone in the middle? Decent looks decent job.

[Anonymous]

My BIL is decent looking himself and earns a seven figure income and he seems to have the same problem as OP. The smart pretty career women are taken or he isn’t meeting them. The ones left are either hot and not smart or not that physically attractive. BIL has dated both kinds. BIL can’t seem to settle down with a nice, smart girl. He once dated a super rich smart girl who was very into him. She wanted to marry him and he just said he was not that attracted to her. I wanted to set him up with the nicest person I know but she was slightly chubby. I wouldn’t even say she was chubby. She just wasn’t stick thin. He was not interested.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I have dated both types but I find myself happier with the cute broke women. Why is this?

She has something you don't have and vice versa.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not complaining just saying. I can attract women who are either cute but broke with no career prospects, or have a good career but aren’t conventionally attractive. This is because I’m not a terribly attractive man myself due to some genetically determined features that I can’t control (being vague here on purpose).

I have dated both types but I find myself happier with the cute broke women. Why is this?

Uh, yes. Same for every man. If you need a woman to support your household, you know you're not winning at life. And if you have a hot gf/wife who is also a nice person, then you are killing it.

Her career prospects are something you should not even consider. You know this.