DD’s schoolfriend is being abused by mentally ill sibling

[Anonymous]

Sibling stuff is not cos worthy. Stop wasting their time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. We’ve called CPS as have others.

Both children are still in the home.

DD’s friend is 11 with an younger brother (9) who has a slew of mental disorders. He is large and violent. He’s constantly verbally assaulting her. A lot of his anger is directed towards her. He’s physically harmed her many times and these incidences have increased as she’s gotten older. Scratch marks all over her face, bruises from being pinched and we’ve seen him punch and kick her.

She is such a sweet girl and I do believe her parents are trying their best with their son. But they’ve totally put his needs above hers and I can’t imagine what it’s like to grow up in a home where you are constantly the target of your brothers rage. She’s with us or other friends so often because the parents are taking the boy to the ER for suicidal and homicidal incidences. I feel for them and understand resources for severely disturbed children are limited.

But I do not understand why CPS continues to allow this girl to live in an abusive home. Do they not care if the abuser isn’t the parents? This goes far beyond normal sibling fighting.

This boy is tormenting her.

Would it be a possibility that you, or a relative, to offer/ask her parents to allow her to stay with you (or relative) until something is done about the brother. If he is that bad then he needs to be in a home which can deal with him.

[Anonymous]

It is worth reaching out to her parents, letting them know you support them, and inviting her to move in with you until things get better with the brother. The risk is that it backfires and then she can't come to your home anymore, which sounds like one of only a few safe spaces, so only you know if it's worth the risk. Boarding school is not a crazy idea for an 11-year-old if they have the funds. Plenty of good boarding schools take kids starting in 6th grade, and that's got to be better than her homelife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are willing to take her in, tell her parents and do it.

No one is going to take on their mentally ill, violent child. It will always be her that has to leave. Love her and make her feel like she is a part of your family.

+1 . I have an older son that has anxiety & other disabilities. I don't see any signs of aggression, but I see signs that he may go down suicidal or depression route if we are not careful. He is a sensitive child that he cries sometimes. My younger daughter is a sweet one, and she is more mentally stable & stronger than him. I don't know the real life situation, but I would try my best to separate them in the same home i
in any way, like lock or I cosleep with the daughter every single night.

You co sleep with your daughter because your son has anxiety? What?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are willing to take her in, tell her parents and do it.

No one is going to take on their mentally ill, violent child. It will always be her that has to leave. Love her and make her feel like she is a part of your family.

+1 . I have an older son that has anxiety & other disabilities. I don't see any signs of aggression, but I see signs that he may go down suicidal or depression route if we are not careful. He is a sensitive child that he cries sometimes. My younger daughter is a sweet one, and she is more mentally stable & stronger than him. I don't know the real life situation, but I would try my best to separate them in the same home i
in any way, like lock or I cosleep with the daughter every single night.

You co sleep with your daughter because your son has anxiety? What?

Pp here. I say if I WERE in OP situation, I would separare 2 kids with bedroom lock or cosleep with the younger one to avoid minimum contact/harm. My children sleep by themselves in their bedrooms, and I don't cosleep with them.

[Anonymous]

Call the police. It is potentially a criminal matter. Imagine yourself as a mandatory reporter (I know you're not). In some states, a mandatory reporter must now call BOTH CPS and law enforcement when reporting a case like this so that things don't fall through the cracks.

It's never fun to call the police on someone, but if an 11 year old is being abused, it's not just a CPS matter.

[Anonymous]

My brother became bipolar schizophrenic at 13. Thankfully I was in college BUT it was downright dangerous and scary for my parents. They were on the fence of sending him to a facility that he would be housed at for 10 months with weekend visits. They learned to live a regimented life and were given therapy, wrap around services and holistic healing and wellness in- house. Medication and learning to cope was also included. I wish my parents did send him as that would probably have prevented his early death as a suicide. If I had a younger sibling, I am 100% positive they would have sent him. But, they ended up with a LOT of hospitalizations, damage to the home, cars, and severed a lot of relationships due to his violent explosions. I loved my brother to death but at times had to distance myself when I had kids. One rant or episode towards my eldest daughter and I was done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Call the police. It is potentially a criminal matter. Imagine yourself as a mandatory reporter (I know you're not). In some states, a mandatory reporter must now call BOTH CPS and law enforcement when reporting a case like this so that things don't fall through the cracks.

It's never fun to call the police on someone, but if an 11 year old is being abused, it's not just a CPS matter.

What, specifically, do you think the police are going to do?