50+ Women.

[Anonymous]

53 here. Not dry but desire and ability to orgasm have taken a steep dive. Any advice? Still have my period but irregular abd light (also due to iud which I got for very very y heavy periods at 50).

[Anonymous]

50+ women?

Not in a year, but total number since being single again easily.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Curious to the women experiencing dryness: what about lube?
—woman approaching 50

It's not just dryness, and lube doesn't cut it.

The structures in the genital area atrophy with age, even if you are on HRT. It doesn't stretch and absorb a pounding the way it did before the change of life. It really, really hurts to have PIV sex unless maybe your partner has a wee roll of dimes for a penis.

How does this happen? Is it genetic or related actions or non actions on the part of the individual?

I’ve never heard of this and no doctor has ever mentioned it to me as a possibility. I’m in my 60s and my husband and I have had a great romantic and intimate life ever since we’ve had an empty nest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm in my late 50s and my partner says he's never been with someone so wet before. I squirt with PIV at times and that hasn't stopped at all. I still have an O very easily. I can't imagine not wanting sex regularly at this point in my life.

Consider yourself fortunate. None of us could imagine not wanting sex regularly, either- estrogen (or lack thereof) is a helluva drug. A 90-minute deep tissue professional massage is now my idea of satisfying sex, bonus points for hot stones.

90-minute massage has always been the most satisfying for me.

[Anonymous]

20:42, it's not genetic. It's something that can/does happen during menopause. Maybe more likely if the woman has kids? Not sure. But it's happening for me. My parts down there feel exhausted like they did after I had my child. I take topical estrogen and that helps but I'm not getting refills frequently enough from my hmo so I have to ration them and then I have a couple days where I'm just incredibly uncomfortable down there. And when there is discomfort in that area, it affects everything - sleep, sitting, walking. It sucks.

[Anonymous]

You ladies are terrifying me. If you have this atrophy/pain issue, how old are you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:20:42, it's not genetic. It's something that can/does happen during menopause. Maybe more likely if the woman has kids? Not sure. But it's happening for me. My parts down there feel exhausted like they did after I had my child. I take topical estrogen and that helps but I'm not getting refills frequently enough from my hmo so I have to ration them and then I have a couple days where I'm just incredibly uncomfortable down there. And when there is discomfort in that area, it affects everything - sleep, sitting, walking. It sucks.

Thanks for your response. It would be interesting to know what causes this to happen. As I mentioned, I’m in my 60s and have no sign of any problems in that respect at this time. I’ve had three babies. Curious as to what helps to avoid this- I’ll definitely talk to my doctor at my next exam.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:20:42, it's not genetic. It's something that can/does happen during menopause. Maybe more likely if the woman has kids? Not sure. But it's happening for me. My parts down there feel exhausted like they did after I had my child. I take topical estrogen and that helps but I'm not getting refills frequently enough from my hmo so I have to ration them and then I have a couple days where I'm just incredibly uncomfortable down there. And when there is discomfort in that area, it affects everything - sleep, sitting, walking. It sucks.

Thanks for your response. It would be interesting to know what causes this to happen. As I mentioned, I’m in my 60s and have no sign of any problems in that respect at this time. I’ve had three babies. Curious as to what helps to avoid this- I’ll definitely talk to my doctor at my next exam.

According to Mayo Clinic, regular sexual activity (with or without a partner) helps to avoid this syndrome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Curious to the women experiencing dryness: what about lube?
—woman approaching 50

It's not just dryness, and lube doesn't cut it.

The structures in the genital area atrophy with age, even if you are on HRT. It doesn't stretch and absorb a pounding the way it did before the change of life. It really, really hurts to have PIV sex unless maybe your partner has a wee roll of dimes for a penis.

DP
Probably some of the older women use toys to keep it in shape.

It's about atrophy, not muscular fitness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:20:42, it's not genetic. It's something that can/does happen during menopause. Maybe more likely if the woman has kids? Not sure. But it's happening for me. My parts down there feel exhausted like they did after I had my child. I take topical estrogen and that helps but I'm not getting refills frequently enough from my hmo so I have to ration them and then I have a couple days where I'm just incredibly uncomfortable down there. And when there is discomfort in that area, it affects everything - sleep, sitting, walking. It sucks.

Thanks for your response. It would be interesting to know what causes this to happen. As I mentioned, I’m in my 60s and have no sign of any problems in that respect at this time. I’ve had three babies. Curious as to what helps to avoid this- I’ll definitely talk to my doctor at my next exam.

According to Mayo Clinic, regular sexual activity (with or without a partner) helps to avoid this syndrome.

I read on web md to use a vibrator on a regular basis to keep blood flowing to the area. I have not hit menopause and am in my 40s but started doing this a few years ago

[Anonymous]

This site states the same thing:

https://www.menopausalmedicine.com/contents/clinical-faqs/why-should-i-use-a-vibrator

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:20:42, it's not genetic. It's something that can/does happen during menopause. Maybe more likely if the woman has kids? Not sure. But it's happening for me. My parts down there feel exhausted like they did after I had my child. I take topical estrogen and that helps but I'm not getting refills frequently enough from my hmo so I have to ration them and then I have a couple days where I'm just incredibly uncomfortable down there. And when there is discomfort in that area, it affects everything - sleep, sitting, walking. It sucks.

Thanks for your response. It would be interesting to know what causes this to happen. As I mentioned, I’m in my 60s and have no sign of any problems in that respect at this time. I’ve had three babies. Curious as to what helps to avoid this- I’ll definitely talk to my doctor at my next exam.

According to Mayo Clinic, regular sexual activity (with or without a partner) helps to avoid this syndrome.

I read on web md to use a vibrator on a regular basis to keep blood flowing to the area. I have not hit menopause and am in my 40s but started doing this a few years ago

Also, having given birth vaginally is protective, according to the Mayo site.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Curious to the women experiencing dryness: what about lube?
—woman approaching 50

It's not just dryness, and lube doesn't cut it.

The structures in the genital area atrophy with age, even if you are on HRT. It doesn't stretch and absorb a pounding the way it did before the change of life. It really, really hurts to have PIV sex unless maybe your partner has a wee roll of dimes for a penis.

DP
Probably some of the older women use toys to keep it in shape.

Mid 50s man here. I've dated several over 50 women. The "can't take a pounding" problem is an issue with some women but not most. Taking it slow and having some oral first usually works. I had one short term GF who couldn't get comfortable with oral and told me she really liked hard, fast, pounding type sex when she was younger. She was very upset by what happened to her body. I was her first sexual partner post menopause and she was devastated because her body didn't respond the way it had 3 years earlier. We broke up before we had much of a chance to experiment with different lubes. Fortunately, this has not been a problem with most women her age, as long as I go slow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Curious to the women experiencing dryness: what about lube?
—woman approaching 50

It's not just dryness, and lube doesn't cut it.

The structures in the genital area atrophy with age, even if you are on HRT. It doesn't stretch and absorb a pounding the way it did before the change of life. It really, really hurts to have PIV sex unless maybe your partner has a wee roll of dimes for a penis.

They can atrophy if you don’t regularly have sex. Just talked to my gyn about this - I had no idea I’m so lucky to be 60 and still easy to get wet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:20:42, it's not genetic. It's something that can/does happen during menopause. Maybe more likely if the woman has kids? Not sure. But it's happening for me. My parts down there feel exhausted like they did after I had my child. I take topical estrogen and that helps but I'm not getting refills frequently enough from my hmo so I have to ration them and then I have a couple days where I'm just incredibly uncomfortable down there. And when there is discomfort in that area, it affects everything - sleep, sitting, walking. It sucks.

Thanks for your response. It would be interesting to know what causes this to happen. As I mentioned, I’m in my 60s and have no sign of any problems in that respect at this time. I’ve had three babies. Curious as to what helps to avoid this- I’ll definitely talk to my doctor at my next exam.

According to Mayo Clinic, regular sexual activity (with or without a partner) helps to avoid this syndrome.

I read on web md to use a vibrator on a regular basis to keep blood flowing to the area. I have not hit menopause and am in my 40s but started doing this a few years ago

It seems like a use it or lose it situation.