Daughter and dad are getting really close these days and it's quietly bothering me...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am very closed to my daughter and we are getting divorced. I am not sad about loosing my wife but I am having sleepless nights over the idea that I won’t get to maker her breakfast every morning, or her showing me her new dance routines every night, or the two of us learning about geography, so many activities.

So OP enjoy this. It’s healthy. She loves you too. Every girl loves her daddy. And we love our daughters too.

Sucks that some other dudes going to be raising your daughter. Hopefully your ho wife doesn’t pick a chomo.

[Anonymous]

It sounds great and it also sounds like you need to get a life outside of your daughter. She’s 10. You have 1 kid. What do you do all day? You feel this way because you have no identity or independence outside of being a SAHM and a wife. You’re not setting a great example for your daughter imo.

[Anonymous]

My daughter went through this with her dad. They even took an international trip together. I stayed home with the other 3 kids. Father died three years after that trip, when she was in college. I am so, so, so thankful that she had that time and relationship with her father. And yes, I felt a bit left out at the time.

[Anonymous]

It just means she is absolutely 100% secure with her relationship with you. That’s all. Be happy that she feels that way about you and wants the same with your husband. Don’t be afraid to ask where your good morning hug is in a light hearted way. It’s not a bad thing, don’t let your ego get in the way of healthy relationships.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Normal. Relationships with parents ebb and flow. Be happy they have a strong relationship and she has a good Dad.

This!!! Find something to keep you busy so you aren’t harping on this. She will notice any tension. If she acts surprised you want to come on an errand offer her an out and say “oh if you’d rather just go with dad that’s fine!”.

Showing her you are confident and secure in your relationship with her, no matter how much time she spends with her dad is WAY more valuable than competing with him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for all the feedback. No, this isn't a troll post. Not sure how it is. Yes, I'm still a SAHM because thankfully my husband is very successful so I don't need to work.

It does sadden me after all these years of my daughter being attached to me that she's starting to lean more toward her dad. I'm not upset or angry. It's just a feeling of 'awe, she used to do that with me' that's all. You spent almost ten years with your child everyday...you get attached.

To reply to some of the posts: He does stay for every single practice and game. He likes it. I asked him why and for him it's a break from work (he doesn't even play with his phone). He just enjoys watching her play. He was a serious athlete back in the day. Almost made the Olympics in the late 90s. He also likes to watch so he can help her with things she's struggling with during practice. As for me, I thought about going back to work but it's too hard for me after being out of the marketplace for a decade. Everyone has more experience than me, etc.

I was just wondering if this was normal for kids. I know kids always lean toward one parent and me only have one kid I don't see it if I had more. But, it does make me a little sad because she used to be so attached to me. I've also heard about the high school years. Some moms say it's going to be bad, some say not so much. We'll find out. Still have several years to go!

Op, I think it's great that your daughter is getting closer to her father - she should have a positive role model in her life.

Yes, I meant it that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Think about how left out your husband has felt for the last 10 years of her preferring you.

Don't ruin this relationship for them. It's an ebb and flow.

This is spot on.

Also, OP, perhaps you are feeling this way because you are a SAHM to an only child who is in school 7+ hours a day, and you don't have anything else going on in your life, so your whole identity is wrapped up in being a mother, and it's extra tough when your kid prefers the other parent.

Yeah it would feel bad if I sat around all day waiting for my kid to get home and she just preferred her dad and the dad took her to sports.

I am a SAHM to 3. This makes me want to go back to work.

And you should. Your kids aren't meant to be your besties or foll your emotional voids. In the nicest way possible get a life mama!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for all the feedback. No, this isn't a troll post. Not sure how it is. Yes, I'm still a SAHM because thankfully my husband is very successful so I don't need to work.

It does sadden me after all these years of my daughter being attached to me that she's starting to lean more toward her dad. I'm not upset or angry. It's just a feeling of 'awe, she used to do that with me' that's all. You spent almost ten years with your child everyday...you get attached.

To reply to some of the posts: He does stay for every single practice and game. He likes it. I asked him why and for him it's a break from work (he doesn't even play with his phone). He just enjoys watching her play. He was a serious athlete back in the day. Almost made the Olympics in the late 90s. He also likes to watch so he can help her with things she's struggling with during practice. As for me, I thought about going back to work but it's too hard for me after being out of the marketplace for a decade. Everyone has more experience than me, etc.

I was just wondering if this was normal for kids. I know kids always lean toward one parent and me only have one kid I don't see it if I had more. But, it does make me a little sad because she used to be so attached to me. I've also heard about the high school years. Some moms say it's going to be bad, some say not so much. We'll find out. Still have several years to go!

Women don't just work because our husbands are too poor 🙄 it also helps prevent boredom and using are children as substitutions for peer relationships.

You should use some of this time to get a hobby there's got to be something you have wanted to learn or try over the years. Start now. Soon she'll not be spending much time with either of you as she'll prefer friends etc.

[Anonymous]

Sports are a great bonding and practicing relationship. That is great!

Find your own things to bind over that are different - baking, spa trip, a craft, a different sport (hiking, cycling, hot yoga?), etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What a horribly narcissistic post.

+1

[Anonymous]

Ugh, OP. Don't be like this. It will harm your relationship with your daughter.

You need more of a life. You are going to suffocate your daughter, revolving your life around her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds great and it also sounds like you need to get a life outside of your daughter. She’s 10. You have 1 kid. What do you do all day? You feel this way because you have no identity or independence outside of being a SAHM and a wife. You’re not setting a great example for your daughter imo.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know this isn't what you'll want to hear, but I would love it if my daughter and husband had something even close to this relationship.

But that said, it sounds like with your husband's work schedule and you being probably the primary parent as a SAHM, your husband is more of the fun parent, while you take on most of the not fun work of parenting.
Are you the one reminding about homework, are you the one who is having her do chores, are you more firm about things? She's probably gravitating towards him because of that.

Bingo‼️
This is definitely what is going on here.

Sad, but true.

Mothers are usually taken for granted in spite of all they do.
The most thankless job in the universe!
Lol.

OP - try to be grateful that your little girl
has such a wonderful relationship w/her Father.
Many girls would love to be in her shoes..
having a positive + present Male in her life will bode extremely well for her future I can guarantee you this!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Time to get a job! You are a fixture for your kid and most likely are hovering over her without even noticing it.
- daughter of long term SAHM who used to desperately wish to see a bit less of her mom

My mom worked and I used to want to see less of her. We never had a good relationship. Now she is old and has cancer and I have a lot of guilt. I don’t think working status necessarily changes your feelings towards your mother.

Well I presume this mother is not bad, there’s just too much of her

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Time to get a job! You are a fixture for your kid and most likely are hovering over her without even noticing it.
- daughter of long term SAHM who used to desperately wish to see a bit less of her mom

Not easy to do! The job market stinks when you've been out for a decade or so.

She doesn’t need a GREAT job. Just something to get her out of the house a bit more when DD is home.