WWYD - 13 yr old just binged on an entire bag of Oreo cookies

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Let me be clear that we do not restrict healthy food. He gets to eat as much as he wants of non-junk food. Yes, he gets enough proteins, fats, and carbs.

My mind is blown that intelligent, well-educated parents think it's okay to let their kids eat unrestricted quantities of unhealthy foods. It's really OK if your kid wants to have six pints of Ben & Jerry's at a sitting on a regular basis?

As I said, we allow small amounts of junk food as occasional treats but I cannot fathom allowing kids of any age to free-feed on food that crowds out healthy calories.

Sugary junk food is made to be addictive and kids, especially teens, do not have the forebrain to fight the addiction.

Think about inserting other kinds of addictive substances -- vaping, meth, alcohol instead of junk food. Of course forbidding something cannot make it attractive. Does that mean we should allow free access to vapes, drugs, and alcohol?

What a total dereliction of parental duty.

No one is saying kids should be allowed to eat six pints of ice cream in one sitting, OP. But junk food once a week is way too restrictive. It's okay to have a few Oreos or similar as a snack after school everyday.

You guys can't read. That's exactly what we do. I said we allow treats in moderation not that we exclude them altogether.

Then we had a bunch of parents chime in saying enforcing moderation is "restricting" food. Um, junk food isn't real food. It should be restricted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s obvious you want to teach your kid to make healthy food choices, but at 13 they are developing more autonomy and food isn’t an area you want to be fighting them on. You could inadvertently create issues with binge eating. It’s advisable to have reasonable options for “sometime foods” or desserts in the house for him to have in moderation outside of fruit.

Don’t consequent him, his stomach will take care of that natural consequence. But it is time for you to come to terms with him no longer being the little kid whose food intake you can manage in the same way.

Um, we're already doing that. Sorry but his stomach created no natural consequences. He did not feel sick. He was perfectly fine. However if he kept up this pattern of eating he'd be on track for developing insulin resistance and Type 2 diabetes for which we unfortunately have family history.

People are crazy to think that all kids have natural off buttons if they are allowed to free feed on junk food. That's totally wrong in the case of many kids. I have the opposite example of a sibling who was never restrained in eating junk food and never stopped. He's now in his 50s and is physically a mess.

You’re a hoot, OP. Seriously, you seem straight out of some teeny bopper movie in the part of the pearl clutching, cardigan over the shoulders, uptight and unpleasant mom of the main character’s mousy BFF.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are creating a craving. I was that kid. In a few short years, you are going to have ZERO control over what he buys with his own money & eats. Guess what I did at 16? Full on binges. I would say disordered eating for a good 10 years.

Here’s what I would recommend - no “consequences”. No punishment, no extra chores or losing phone time or whatever punitive actions you could come up. Talk about how it’s not great for his health. Then move on. Maybe even buy a bag of Oreos & say, I know you can do better - have a few when you feel like it.

I am parenting so differently now that I have kids, & I can tell you that my teens don’t do that. We have a bag of Oreos in the cabinet that have been there for probably 6 months. Someone has 3 or 4, & then forgets about it.

Same thing here. Now it isn't worth buying them because they generally go stale.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s obvious you want to teach your kid to make healthy food choices, but at 13 they are developing more autonomy and food isn’t an area you want to be fighting them on. You could inadvertently create issues with binge eating. It’s advisable to have reasonable options for “sometime foods” or desserts in the house for him to have in moderation outside of fruit.

Don’t consequent him, his stomach will take care of that natural consequence. But it is time for you to come to terms with him no longer being the little kid whose food intake you can manage in the same way.

Um, we're already doing that. Sorry but his stomach created no natural consequences. He did not feel sick. He was perfectly fine. However if he kept up this pattern of eating he'd be on track for developing insulin resistance and Type 2 diabetes for which we unfortunately have family history.

People are crazy to think that all kids have natural off buttons if they are allowed to free feed on junk food. That's totally wrong in the case of many kids. I have the opposite example of a sibling who was never restrained in eating junk food and never stopped. He's now in his 50s and is physically a mess.

Believe it or not, daily sweets is not what causes diabetes. If you disagree, why don't you march your hangry child to the doctors office for an A1C test to ensure he doesn't have Oreo poisoning. Just remember, when his performance drops in school, it's because he's hungry and needs more calories than his low carb diet can offer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are comparing Oreos to vaping? You made your kid buy Oreos with bday money? What do you think will happen when he goes to college? You need to be teaching moderation.

+1 I cannot wait to hear in a few years about binge drinking and failing out of college

[Anonymous]

On Saturday I ate an entire bag of popcorn myself. All on Saturday. It happens sometimes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are a family that has sugary dessert only once a week, the rest of the time we end dinner with fresh fruit. We allow occasional treats but we're not really into a lot of junk food.

Our 13 yr old DS bought a bag of Oreos the other day with his own allowance money on the understanding that he could have a couple as an occasional treat. He bought the Oreos on Friday afternoon. They were completely gone by Saturday night.

He knows that we would not be OK with him doing this. When we found out he said he just couldn't control himself around the Oreos.

What's an appropriate consequence for this behavior? We've never known him to binge but this is also the first time we've let him buy a full-size snack bag with his own money.

He's had some issues lying around sneaking video game time but he's generally an honest kid. Clearly cannot be trusted around video games and Oreos tho.

Apologize for restricting his food so he feels like he needs to binge eat? And buy him a box at Costco.

+1
He's 13!!! FFS I'd never control even my 8 yo snacks. One rule - appropriate amount of good stuff goes down first at meal times. 4 kids (8-22) all fit and healthy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP may be missing the point. While kids may eat too much junk food, drink too much soda and play video games too late at night, the kids who were raised to help make their own decisions earlier in life are making better decisions on their own as a teen.

Same argument holds true for the college students that experience “freedom” their freshman year.

No, I think you're missing the point. Some kids who have overly permissive parents end up dead before they make it very far into their teens or make it to college.

[Anonymous]

And to think I bought two bags of Pepperidge Farm cookies this week because they were on sale. My 3 teens had free access to the cookies and they were good about sharing them so that nobody had too much. DH and I are watching what we eat so we had none of them. That's the way you feed growing teens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s obvious you want to teach your kid to make healthy food choices, but at 13 they are developing more autonomy and food isn’t an area you want to be fighting them on. You could inadvertently create issues with binge eating. It’s advisable to have reasonable options for “sometime foods” or desserts in the house for him to have in moderation outside of fruit.

Don’t consequent him, his stomach will take care of that natural consequence. But it is time for you to come to terms with him no longer being the little kid whose food intake you can manage in the same way.

Um, we're already doing that. Sorry but his stomach created no natural consequences. He did not feel sick. He was perfectly fine. However if he kept up this pattern of eating he'd be on track for developing insulin resistance and Type 2 diabetes for which we unfortunately have family history.

People are crazy to think that all kids have natural off buttons if they are allowed to free feed on junk food. That's totally wrong in the case of many kids. I have the opposite example of a sibling who was never restrained in eating junk food and never stopped. He's now in his 50s and is physically a mess.

Believe it or not, daily sweets is not what causes diabetes. If you disagree, why don't you march your hangry child to the doctors office for an A1C test to ensure he doesn't have Oreo poisoning. Just remember, when his performance drops in school, it's because he's hungry and needs more calories than his low carb diet can offer.

I think you must be medically ignorant. Huge spikes in blood sugar that require parallel jumps in insulin is precisely what causes diabetes over time. A small quantity of daily sweets might not have that effect, but large quantities of anything that spikes blood sugar can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s obvious you want to teach your kid to make healthy food choices, but at 13 they are developing more autonomy and food isn’t an area you want to be fighting them on. You could inadvertently create issues with binge eating. It’s advisable to have reasonable options for “sometime foods” or desserts in the house for him to have in moderation outside of fruit.

Don’t consequent him, his stomach will take care of that natural consequence. But it is time for you to come to terms with him no longer being the little kid whose food intake you can manage in the same way.

Um, we're already doing that. Sorry but his stomach created no natural consequences. He did not feel sick. He was perfectly fine. However if he kept up this pattern of eating he'd be on track for developing insulin resistance and Type 2 diabetes for which we unfortunately have family history.

People are crazy to think that all kids have natural off buttons if they are allowed to free feed on junk food. That's totally wrong in the case of many kids. I have the opposite example of a sibling who was never restrained in eating junk food and never stopped. He's now in his 50s and is physically a mess.

I’m the pp you’re quoting and I was going off your OP about mostly having fruit for dessert. It seems like you’re leaning into some rigid thinking here. If someone suggests more free will around food choices you’re responding with 6 pints of ice cream, “keeping up” eating packages of Oreos and getting diabetes, and vaping. What I’m suggesting is there is something in between this. Buy the Oreos he enjoys and tell him he can have a few for dessert, buy those mini ice cream cones, fruit pops, etc. Teach him about moderation. That’s where the switch is developed assuming he’s not already developed an unhealthy relationship with food.

[Anonymous]

My mom restricted sugar most of my childhood. My sibling and I used to sneak food in and hide it in our rooms (full on cakes, cookies,candy). I was super thin as a teen and once in college had no mechanisms around self control. I’ve battled weight ever since then and mentally feel “entitled to dessert” just like my sibling does. Do not restrict food in such a manner. Talk about healthy eating. I do not restrict with my kids. I do teach them about sugar and empty calories (such as soda). They are teens now and are more in tune with what is best for them. You will be teaching your child life long bad habits. And chances are they’ll resent you for this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP may be missing the point. While kids may eat too much junk food, drink too much soda and play video games too late at night, the kids who were raised to help make their own decisions earlier in life are making better decisions on their own as a teen.

Same argument holds true for the college students that experience “freedom” their freshman year.

No, I think you're missing the point. Some kids who have overly permissive parents end up dead before they make it very far into their teens or make it to college.

Wait... what? Death by Oreos? Did you think withholding sweets would prevent risky behavior later in life?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Let me be clear that we do not restrict healthy food. He gets to eat as much as he wants of non-junk food. Yes, he gets enough proteins, fats, and carbs.

My mind is blown that intelligent, well-educated parents think it's okay to let their kids eat unrestricted quantities of unhealthy foods. It's really OK if your kid wants to have six pints of Ben & Jerry's at a sitting on a regular basis?

As I said, we allow small amounts of junk food as occasional treats but I cannot fathom allowing kids of any age to free-feed on food that crowds out healthy calories.

Sugary junk food is made to be addictive and kids, especially teens, do not have the forebrain to fight the addiction.

Think about inserting other kinds of addictive substances -- vaping, meth, alcohol instead of junk food. Of course forbidding something cannot make it attractive. Does that mean we should allow free access to vapes, drugs, and alcohol?

What a total dereliction of parental duty.

No one is saying kids should be allowed to eat six pints of ice cream in one sitting, OP. But junk food once a week is way too restrictive. It's okay to have a few Oreos or similar as a snack after school everyday.

You guys can't read. That's exactly what we do. I said we allow treats in moderation not that we exclude them altogether.

Then we had a bunch of parents chime in saying enforcing moderation is "restricting" food. Um, junk food isn't real food. It should be restricted.

The nuance that's missing here is that we need to teach our kids to eat in moderation. I have always allowed my kid unrestricted access to all foods. Favorite part of a happy meal was the apples. He'll often tell me I gave him too many chips. He'll eat the fruit on the plate and take a bite out of the cookie. He'll probably never want to eat 6 pints of ice cream because he knows half a pint will give him a stomach ache. We've allowed him to have all the experiences with all the food so that he can use that experience to make his own decisions about what he puts in his body.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are comparing Oreos to vaping? You made your kid buy Oreos with bday money? What do you think will happen when he goes to college? You need to be teaching moderation.

Um, no honey. He gets something called an allowance.