I can’t stand flaky parents

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The people that are seriously bothered by this- in the setting of playdates, parenting stuff, have anxiety issues.

Op here. I am not an anxious person at all. If we have plans for 2-3 hours and you cancel after our meeting time, I have a problem with that. I also have a problem with people who are 1-2 HOURS late.

I have a group of friends who are even more punctual than I am. I actually like hanging out with them because they are extremely reliable. They plans moms night out or trips and good planners. It is nice to know that if we pick a date to have dinner, I know they will be there and on time. Over the years, other friends drift apart. I won’t initiate with a person who cancels often. I’m not talking once in a while but if you cancel or postpone all the time, I’m not keeping a time slot for you. I will still invite them a party we are having or if they invite us to a gathering.

Why does this bother you so much? So they don’t end up meeting you at the park or museum or wherever. Big deal. Just move on with your day with your own plans. It isn’t like these are ultra important plans you have together and you cannot do them without this person and her kids involved.

NP and I won’t speak for OP who apparently is only bothered when people are HOURS late (who wouldn’t be annoyed by that?—in fact I think it would be unusual for OP NOT to be concerned by a friend who was 1-2 HOURS late to a scheduled event)…. but there are honestly myriad reasons why this would bother many people:
1- Disappointment of looking forward to spending the day/outing with friends and then having to shift mindset about that day/event/time at last minute
2- Blocking off time that could have been scheduled to spend with different friends or on a different activity. Rescheduling is fine, but then you’ve blocked off time twice for the same event. It’s annoying and shows lack of respect for someone else’s time if you don’t get that )
3–yes, mom can do these activities with her own kids on her own. She likely already does on a routine basis. But OP specifically said this bothers her when plans are concrete and the other person flakes. It was not set up as a “yeah we’ll see you there if we can make it” situation. Those situations are fine, but not the same as going to the trouble of finding a mutually agreed-upon time and activity to do together only to flake and not show or cancel while you are waiting to meet them.