Single parent by choice

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it fair to the baby if a 35 year old busy single physician who wants a child and can afford to outsource child raising, hires a surrogate and a live in nanny to fulfill this wish?

They are tired of dating and traumatized by seeing marriages go sour and dissolve. May decide to go back to dating or marriage in future or may not. Baby will always be taken care of.

Not only fair, but smart

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They had to rehome a dog hence the hesitation. My suggestion was to foster and test their parenting capabilities.

Fostering is a terrible idea for people who are not very committed to active parenting. Foster kids are going through some sh!t and they need more focused attention than similar aged bio kids.

[Anonymous]

Damn

[Anonymous]

My best guy friend became a single dad by choice (foster-to-adopt) at 50. He took all the parenting classes, did the home study, etc. He retired on his 50th birthday and 2 weeks later he got the call. He fostered 2 brothers ages 6 and 3 and adopted them 14 months later. Best family I know. He is my kid's godfather.

Many ways to become a parent. I adopted my daughter at 44. SMC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it fair to the baby if a 35 year old busy single physician who wants a child and can afford to outsource child raising, hires a surrogate and a live in nanny to fulfill this wish?

They are tired of dating and traumatized by seeing marriages go sour and dissolve. May decide to go back to dating or marriage in future or may not. Baby will always be taken care of.

I have nothing against being a SMBC.

However it's a hard no in your case.

It seems like you want a child to be an accessory to check off your list so you can crow about how fabulous and accomplished you are.

This is not a good reason to have a child.

It's not fair for a child to grow up as an accessory..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Take your kid and the nanny with you around the world, like the rock stars do.

or just ship them off to a boarding school / summer camps

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it fair to the baby if a 35 year old busy single physician who wants a child and can afford to outsource child raising, hires a surrogate and a live in nanny to fulfill this wish?

They are tired of dating and traumatized by seeing marriages go sour and dissolve. May decide to go back to dating or marriage in future or may not. Baby will always be taken care of.

Just make sure you have a plan for if you die while they are minors. Need someone who you know would be happy to raise kids, and you need to leave them money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My best guy friend became a single dad by choice (foster-to-adopt) at 50. He took all the parenting classes, did the home study, etc. He retired on his 50th birthday and 2 weeks later he got the call. He fostered 2 brothers ages 6 and 3 and adopted them 14 months later. Best family I know. He is my kid's godfather.

Many ways to become a parent. I adopted my daughter at 44. SMC.

All of this is very different than purposefully creating a new life that will not have the second parent.

OP, what you are considering is immoral.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My best guy friend became a single dad by choice (foster-to-adopt) at 50. He took all the parenting classes, did the home study, etc. He retired on his 50th birthday and 2 weeks later he got the call. He fostered 2 brothers ages 6 and 3 and adopted them 14 months later. Best family I know. He is my kid's godfather.

Many ways to become a parent. I adopted my daughter at 44. SMC.

All of this is very different than purposefully creating a new life that will not have the second parent.

OP, what you are considering is immoral.

good lord troll much

I see plenty of couples having kids that should never breed. At least OP will have a donor that has been screened for the likes of people like you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you freeze your eggs? Both of my physician friends I'm your same position found a person they loved by 43 and had children with those eggs. One has 2 kids and is having #4 and 5 via surrogate due to medical complications.

What happened to number 3??

They planned out Middle Child Syndrome far in advance.

[Anonymous]

It's fine, as long as you don't try to rehome the child if things become difficult. Children are not accessories. How about adopting a teen parent aging out of foster care, and becoming an adoptive grandparent for the child?

[Anonymous]

Unless you are the woman considering becoming the single mom by choice, you need to stay out of it and not worry about whether it’s fair. It’s not your business and not your choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My best guy friend became a single dad by choice (foster-to-adopt) at 50. He took all the parenting classes, did the home study, etc. He retired on his 50th birthday and 2 weeks later he got the call. He fostered 2 brothers ages 6 and 3 and adopted them 14 months later. Best family I know. He is my kid's godfather.

Many ways to become a parent. I adopted my daughter at 44. SMC.

So did I!

[Anonymous]

It’s selfish. Children who are being intentionally created deserve a two parent home. It’s not like you’re adopting a child here who otherwise needs a good home. That’s a different story. Being a parent is about being selfless and doing what’s best for the child. Your perspective is the opposite of that, it’s about what is best for you. No career driven person who travels a lot should Consider being a single parent - you aren’t going to be around. Children need present, involved parents - and those created intentionally deserve two parents. Obviously life is not fair and not everyone gets that but I believe that single parenthood by choice where parents are actively choosing to create a child without a second parent are selfish. You are creating the trauma of the loss of a second parent without even realizing it. Just look at the trauma of adopted children.

[Anonymous]

If you are thinking about being an SMC only you know if you can do it. Do not listen to trolls and people who are blind to the problems in their own marriages and relationships.

There are plenty of single parents and coupled parents who should not be parents. One way does not create destiny for perfect parenthood.

I can say I always wondered why my mom never left my abusive father. She stayed because she was always told you need two parents. I would have appreciated no abuse vs. an extra plate at the table.