I'm so sad for my kid

[Anonymous]

I felt really sad for my kid too. Deferred UMich, rejected UNC and GTech. No good news yesterday. It stinks that her good friend got in UMich and she doesn't even want to go. Same friend will probably beat my kid in the two ivies that they both applied. So sad!! So far my kid only have 2 safety admits, the rest are all deferrals or rejects, when many of her classmates have gotten in targets or reaches. She kept telling me she loves her safeties and will be happy to go. I still feel sad for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Give him a couple days to sulk/be sad and then start getting him excited about UGA. Also have him go visit UMD with an open mind. Maybe he might change his mind. Also the deferrals may change into acceptances (but don’t plan for it). My kid was deferred in EA last year from both Wisconsin and Michigan and got accepted in RD. Good Luck! It is hard to face the rejections, especially multiple in a day

Thanks will do. Where does your kid go?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's wrong with UMD? It's a good school. OP is feeling miserable for no reason.

He doesn't want to go there. Isn't remotely excited. Likes UGA so it will be fine. Just disappointed about wisco. Don't care about Michigan.

dp.. my super high stats kid got rejected to the T15 he applied to (CS major). And I mean super high stats from a magnet program. He wanted to go oos.

He got deferred at Mich, and got into UMD. He was very upset for a couple of months.

Then UM came back, but by then DC decided UMD was fine. He didn't want the cold LOL. He is at UMD now. He told me a few weeks ago during winter break when we had all that snow that he hates walking in the snow. I said then it's a good thing he didn't pick UM.

He also has a chance to transfer to GTech if he wants to, but he said no. He likes UMD. He especially likes the 4+1 program, but he had enough credits going into freshman year that he can double major and graduate in 3 years, +1 masters. And he got merit. So, he will end up with 3 degrees all for under $120K. I mean.. not bad. The remainder of the 529 funds will go to his sibling, and we will give him the cash instead, and a car. That also greatly pleases him. I think for DS, the rejection was an ego killer given his super high stats.

So, even if your DS goes to UMD or UGA or wherever, I think it will work out. It's a big school, and football is big, but there are so many other things going on.

When DS was disappointed, I told him the same thing that I told him when he was going to HS. It is what you make of it. You can either be miserable, or you can seek opportunities, make connections, and choose to be happy.

That's awesome! Thanks for sharing!

[Anonymous]

I'm confused. Are you saying he's in at UGA in addition to UMD? I was prepared to come on here and empathize with you, as I had so much sadness over my son's choices by this time when he was senior--which, by the way, were zero. He had 2 rejections and 6 deferrals. He finally got an acceptance to a school he had never even heard of that his counselor had him apply to as a backup after all the deferrals, in early February. So, sorry, no empathy for someone who has an acceptance to many kids' dream school. Good luck, though!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm confused. Are you saying he's in at UGA in addition to UMD? I was prepared to come on here and empathize with you, as I had so much sadness over my son's choices by this time when he was senior--which, by the way, were zero. He had 2 rejections and 6 deferrals. He finally got an acceptance to a school he had never even heard of that his counselor had him apply to as a backup after all the deferrals, in early February. So, sorry, no empathy for someone who has an acceptance to many kids' dream school. Good luck, though!

I'm sorry you raise a valid point. I probably should have thought before posting. We are grateful and he's lucky. It's all relative I guess. It's not any sort of crisis here. I just felt sad in the moment and still do, while realizing he has great options as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She kept telling me she loves her safeties and will be happy to go. I still feel sad for her.

Parents are sad even when their kids are happy—this is not healthy! We as parents should not wrap all our emotions up in our kids’ prospective colleges.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She kept telling me she loves her safeties and will be happy to go. I still feel sad for her.

Parents are sad even when their kids are happy—this is not healthy! We as parents should not wrap all our emotions up in our kids’ prospective colleges.

THIS THIS THIS

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hear great things about UMD. Also that friends' kids from other schools (U of Richmond esp) are up visiting their UMD friends very very frequently - College Park is considered more fun!
It's a great education. All good

I went to UMD. Loved it. Son would choose UGA over it. It's more that wisconsin was perfect fit.

Honestly, it is hard to understand how/why any school is a perfect fit. How could Wisc really be so different from another flagship. Is there an industry or company based in Madison or the Midwest that recruits only from Wisc? Is there some niche degree / specialty only offered by Wisc?

It is such an unhealthy viewpoint and rarely makes any sense.

I don’t understand either. How do you know in advance that it will be perfect? I mean you can like things about lots of schools, but unless you’re there for a while you won’t know what’s perfect and what isn’t.

[Anonymous]

I’m so sorry.

My kid was also deferred at Michigan, and I think the school should just reject students instead of giving false hope. Michigan has very few spots for OOS.

“Love the school that loves you back” was my advice to my kid.

Sounds like your child has great options so congrats to them!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Right there with you. Deferred from Michigan -- legacy, NYC private, all the right stats and ECs and just a kid who worked so hard. His high school counselor was pushing him to ED a tougher school but he has always wanted Michigan. It's just so hard to see kids who have worked for something not get it. It's ok to be sad for a couple of days (I think it hasn't hit him yet - he's still stunned despite me trying ot prepare him) and then I agree we pull it together and it's onward to the next round. The kicker is, my ds' girlfriend got in, she didn't submit test scores and she doesn't even really want to go. It was a rough night here.

Many deferrals turn into acceptances at Michigan. I’m glad he didn’t ED to a tougher school.

They don’t release those numbers so how would you know if “many deferrals” turn into acceptances?

A deferral is mostly a polite rejection.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hear great things about UMD. Also that friends' kids from other schools (U of Richmond esp) are up visiting their UMD friends very very frequently - College Park is considered more fun!
It's a great education. All good

I went to UMD. Loved it. Son would choose UGA over it. It's more that wisconsin was perfect fit.

Honestly, it is hard to understand how/why any school is a perfect fit. How could Wisc really be so different from another flagship. Is there an industry or company based in Madison or the Midwest that recruits only from Wisc? Is there some niche degree / specialty only offered by Wisc?

It is such an unhealthy viewpoint and rarely makes any sense.

I don’t understand either. How do you know in advance that it will be perfect? I mean you can like things about lots of schools, but unless you’re there for a while you won’t know what’s perfect and what isn’t.

It’s like when people say they are interviewing for the “perfect job”. One boss I knew would tell people…did you win the powerball? If not, there is no perfect job.

[Anonymous]

I bet he’ll get into Wisconsin eventually.

[Anonymous]

Indiana?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^^Such a rude remark-the DMV is so full of mean and bitter soulless individuals.

What was rude? To love what safety? UMD?

This is PP- not rude or soulless. Have you not heard that your student must love their safety going into the application process? The reality is that most kids aren’t getting into their reach schools. Sorry to burst the bubble.

BTW, UGA and UMD are amazing schools.

Speaking from experience, DD was deferred at UM, went to UMD Honors, now at an Ivy for grad school. Loved UMD by the way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I bet he’ll get into Wisconsin eventually.

This for sure. Visit again or send a letter with updated grades.