Question on Parent Interactions

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This exact thing happened to my DD. She moved to a new group. We don’t interact with the family at all.

NP—similar happened to my DD and a group of three. But two stayed friends (my DD included) and the third goes out of her way to avoid the other two and it was very hurtful to my DD in the sudden way she actively shunned them. There was no event and no big fight that led up to this. Just an obvious desire by third girl to make her move to be with a cooler crowd. Sadly, she did not try to navigate this gradually or kindly. Simply ghosted all texts and began looking the other way in the halls of school, sitting with new group at lunch, avoiding conversation groups where the other two were gathered, and whispering and giggling to others when the other two were in the same room.
Before this happened, the 3 were nearly inseparable, and it makes me sad.

The three moms try to keep up a friendship by just ignoring this. And it is so awkward elephant.

Obviously we all are aware that third girl no longer associates with the other two and vice versa. They used to hang out with each other every weekend but now we haven’t seen their DD and Vice versa in over a year unless we accidentally run into them at a school event.
But we never talk about it. I wish I had the courage to tell third mom how hurt and upset our daughters were at how her DD handled the situation, but my fear is that she’ll just shrug and say “friendships tend ti shift at this age” as though it’s perfectly normal for her daughter to be icy to ours. They didn’t deserve that. And then there is another side of me that wonders if she has the impression that the other two are to blame, since they are still bff and it’s her daughter who is “left out” of the triangle. FWIW my DD gave me the death stare and rolled her eyes and said “there’s no way she thinks that, mom”
I will probably never bring it up. But I hate that we never discussed it.

+1

Same. NP here. In hindsight, I should have brought it up 1:1 with one of the moms, especially the one who deliberately asked "who does (my kid) hang out with?", then proceeded to move in on those people instantaneously. OP, it is usually the "girl moms" (some, not all) who are very cunning, strategic and underhanded. These girls learn it at home! Honestly, I wish there was some sort of warning, because the original small group were happy together for many years. I know that DD made ultimately better friends, but the way that the mom and kid moved in on the others was really not the right thing to do, and they knew it. Some moms really are just stuck in middles school, OP. Good riddance!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is always 3 sides of the story OP and you only have 1

This wouldn't matter to me. OPs daughter is being excluded. There's no other version that would make me ignore her hurt feelings just so that I could hang out with a family whose daughter was taking part in the exclusion.