Don’t ask me to call you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When you’re the one who wants to talk to me!! It’s so entitled. There’s a dad in my child’s friend group who does this all the time. Maybe it’s just a verbal tic, but if YOU want to talk to me, then you should call me or ask when a good time is for you to call. Do not order me to call you.
Ex- planned outing with teen boys. Son asks friend if he’s free that day. Friend says my dad said your mom should call him with details. I’m sure in a day or so, he’ll email or text and say- can you call me to talk about this activity.

Same rules apply at work. Person who wants to talk doesn’t ask the other person to call / send calendar invite unless the initiator is higher up the food chain.

I don't think this is odd. Your son issued an invitation and the dad is asking for the invitation to come directly from "the source". Maybe he feels like calling and saying "Josh says Nathan invited him to X" feels too much like inviting his kid?

I agree with your work point, though.

Np. We do this all the time in my kid's friend circle. But we text. Nobody is calling anyone. I'm like a Gen z in that way - I do not want to talk to you on the phone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Along teh same lines, I hate when people say “We should get together”. Ok, if you want to get together, ask me to do something, but don’t then put the onus on me to arrange something if you are suggesting we get together. I mean, how do you answer that? Yes! We should!

They don't really want to get together. They don't expect you to arrange something. They say let's get together, then you agree, then it never happens. It's just a nicety, it's not an actionable plan.

[Anonymous]

I would never assume you would be able to talk when I can. Maybe OP has no life though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know, I like the idea that if they ask me to call, I can control when I call instead of waiting around for them to call me. And once I call and leave a message I've done my part and I don't care if I miss their call back.

This works if they say something like "hey can you give me a call when you're free?" or "I wanted to talk about the dinner plans -- can you call when you have a chance?"

But what some people will do is say "please call me" or "can you call me please." It comes off like an order and also is so free of context that it makes me think something's wrong and that I need to drop what I'm doing to call them. My parents will do this and I'll worry that one of them is hurt or someone died or something horrible happened, and I'll rush to call them and they'll be like "we hadn't chatted in a while and I was wondering what you were thinking about for the 4th of July this year." It's sooooo annoying.

Same. Yep. I just posted about my mom doing this.

[Anonymous]

Along those lines, people who say “We should get together” and leave the ball in your court.

If you want to really get together, call/text/email me and ask me.

[Anonymous]

I had a colleague (never met her in in person) who always without fail wanted me to call her in response to my email. I'd send her an email and she'd call me in response. I started letting her calls go to voicemail. Then she started emailing me back "give me a call please." I hated it. I decided to email back "I'm in meetings all day and can't call," every time. And guess what? She'd respond by email and all was well. WHY why. Why add the extra step of a phone call? Or asking me to call? I pictured this woman sitting in a cubicle somewhere with absolutely nothing to do except reply to like 3 emails a day, just dying to make things complicated to make herself feel more useful. (I'm not actually certain I'm wrong).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the opposite. I would much rather talk to you on my own schedule. Don't cold call me! Ask me to call when I have a chance.

Agree.

[Anonymous]

First off, I hate the phone so don’t call me and I’m not calling you. Second, don’t command me to text you. The only people I know who do this are entitled unless they start with something like “feel free” and ending with “if. You want to…”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When you’re the one who wants to talk to me!! It’s so entitled. There’s a dad in my child’s friend group who does this all the time. Maybe it’s just a verbal tic, but if YOU want to talk to me, then you should call me or ask when a good time is for you to call. Do not order me to call you.
Ex- planned outing with teen boys. Son asks friend if he’s free that day. Friend says my dad said your mom should call him with details. I’m sure in a day or so, he’ll email or text and say- can you call me to talk about this activity.

Same rules apply at work. Person who wants to talk doesn’t ask the other person to call / send calendar invite unless the initiator is higher up the food chain.

If your DC is doing the inviting, then it is up to you to contact the other parent at their preferred mode of communication. So, yes, you are on the hook to call.

[Anonymous]

This thread explains a lot about why people are lonlier these days and having less sex. We may as well just download our brains into computers and eschew corporal living.