Don’t ask me to call you

[Anonymous]

I agree with you generally, but not in the example you gave. Sounds like you want this kid to join more than he cares. So he’s asking you to call.

In general, I do see it as the person who needs something should call. If someone asks me to call but they’re the one who needs the info, I don’t call them. They can follow up if they want. If it is beneficial to me, then I will call even if they really should be the one to do it.

[Anonymous]

A similar thing is when you’re making plans with people - people just say “let me know what works for you” so it puts the onus of planning on you. I assume that people who say that don’t really care to get together. If the relationship is important, I will follow up. Otherwise, I will just let it die and no one suggests a time.

[Anonymous]

A lot of this is also tone, context and prior relationship. A mom I am friends with - I won’t be offended if she writes- can you call me when you’re free, I have some questions about the activity. That’s different, bc the framing is that she’s asking me to do it when it’s convenient for me and I read it as her not wanting to bother me at the wrong time.

Some dad I know is generally entitled, moochy, asking me to call him is making a “power move”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know, I like the idea that if they ask me to call, I can control when I call instead of waiting around for them to call me. And once I call and leave a message I've done my part and I don't care if I miss their call back.

+1
My pet peeve is when I send you a text and you call me in response. Contact me back in the medium in which I contacted you.

Sometimes easier to have a 5 min phone call than spend 30 minutes texting back and forth

[Anonymous]

OP, does it matter to you that the Dad may not trust that it's a true invitation. It is your family extending the invitation (via your son), and yet it wouldn't be unusual for kids to invent stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:YES so agree with this. it's a power move.

Nobody is using this as a power play! This thread clearly demonstrates people are comfortable communicating in different mediums.

[Anonymous]

I totally see your point in this OP & I agree 💯% w/you.

Playing Devil’s Advocate here -> do you think the other person may be telling you to call them since they do not know your schedule, like when would be a good time for YOU to talk on the phone w/them??

Maybe they are not very busy + they are available to talk almost anytime?

Anyway good topic!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the opposite. I would much rather talk to you on my own schedule. Don't cold call me! Ask me to call when I have a chance.

Totally agree with this. Also the reverse-- I worry about bothering people when they're busy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know, I like the idea that if they ask me to call, I can control when I call instead of waiting around for them to call me. And once I call and leave a message I've done my part and I don't care if I miss their call back.

+1
My pet peeve is when I send you a text and you call me in response. Contact me back in the medium in which I contacted you.

Sometimes easier to have a 5 min phone call than spend 30 minutes texting back and forth

So true. I open many phone calls (work and personal) with "I can talk faster than I can type."

[Anonymous]

I hate when people leave dumb messages that says Call Me.

[Anonymous]

Along teh same lines, I hate when people say “We should get together”. Ok, if you want to get together, ask me to do something, but don’t then put the onus on me to arrange something if you are suggesting we get together. I mean, how do you answer that? Yes! We should!

[Anonymous]

How about a friend who you haven't seen in awhile but you text them about something mutually interesting and they end the text convo by saying, I miss you, I miss our chats, let's talk soon! You say OK let me know when you want to talk.

Then, nothing until six or nine months later when it happens again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know, I like the idea that if they ask me to call, I can control when I call instead of waiting around for them to call me. And once I call and leave a message I've done my part and I don't care if I miss their call back.

+1
My pet peeve is when I send you a text and you call me in response. Contact me back in the medium in which I contacted you.

This is mine as well. I am very busy, have kids who are not quiet, and spend a lot of time driving to and from activities, etc. People please text or do not respond at all. I find this is mostly older people who do not like texting such as my daughter's horse trainer. Also, texting allows me time to think and back out of something. I hate talking directly to someone because I have to make more direct and quick decisions. I want to mull and think things over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Along teh same lines, I hate when people say “We should get together”. Ok, if you want to get together, ask me to do something, but don’t then put the onus on me to arrange something if you are suggesting we get together. I mean, how do you answer that? Yes! We should!

This annoys me too. Suggest a time!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know, I like the idea that if they ask me to call, I can control when I call instead of waiting around for them to call me. And once I call and leave a message I've done my part and I don't care if I miss their call back.

+1
My pet peeve is when I send you a text and you call me in response. Contact me back in the medium in which I contacted you.

My mom does this. She also does OP's thing and texts me to ask me to call her. In OP's situation I at least want to know why I'm calling you. My mom never says why. She has also cleverly figured out that if she makes it sound urgent, I'll call her more quickly. Last time it happened, she texted "Janie. Call me right away. Important." And I thought oh no, dads in the hospital. No, she was at the grocery store and wanted to know if I would like for her to reserve a pie for Christmas. It wasn't urgent (she could have done it later online or over the phone).