S/O "doggy bags" on early dates

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Spinoff of the "upset my date" thread. Is it rude, odd, or inappropriate to take restaurant leftovers home with you after an early date? Say, the first 1-3 dates or so?

I don't think it's wrong, but it definitely sends the message that the date is over and you aren't going to ask or be up for an after-dinner walk by the water, drinks, etc.

Do you think people who leave their leftovers behind are wasteful or that people who pack up their leftovers are overly focused on the food rather than the date as a whole?

Not asking about what you do with your spouse, partner, or family - specifically asking in the context of early stages of dating.

What in the hell is this? You won’t ever be in a functioning relationship if your mind goes to these life limiting bizarre thinking patterns. I could care less whether someone takes a doggy bag home. What are they supposed to do with an unfinished dish in your eyes? What other controlling judging views have you. So ugly. Your post is so offensive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women go on OLD sites for free meals without any interest in dating. It sends a signal that you are one of those women

Whaaa?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think it's wrong to take a doggy bag, but I do think it's very odd to order a meal, eat two or three bites of it, insist that you liked it and then take the rest home.

DP. I eat slow and get full quickly. Not at all odd.

[Anonymous]

Threads like this make me so glad I’m married and can just be myself. Today I ate a leftover chicken nugget off my kids plate - was that rude? Probably, but it was abandoned and no one cared.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women go on OLD sites for free meals without any interest in dating. It sends a signal that you are one of those women

No they don't.

I have a colleague who met her husband on Tinder and went on a dinner date with him because she just wanted a free meal (grad student at the time). She ended up liking him.

Totally common. Just like pretty young women who go to bars with the intention of not paying for a single drink.

Nobody is forcing these guys to buy drinks or dinner for pretty women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Threads like this make me so glad I’m married and can just be myself. Today I ate a leftover chicken nugget off my kids plate - was that rude? Probably, but it was abandoned and no one cared.

One assumes that you’re not trying to get in your kid’s pants.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women go on OLD sites for free meals without any interest in dating. It sends a signal that you are one of those women

No they don't.

I have a colleague who met her husband on Tinder and went on a dinner date with him because she just wanted a free meal (grad student at the time). She ended up liking him.

Totally common. Just like pretty young women who go to bars with the intention of not paying for a single drink.

Nobody is forcing these guys to buy drinks or dinner for pretty women.

But now you’re admitting that it does happen.

Tell the rest of the loons in this thread who insist “women don’t have time to go on dates just for a free meal!”

They say we are lying, but it’s absolutely the truth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think it's rude, but I did most of my dating in my 20s when it was understood we were all trying to stretch a dollar. I still remember a date with one guy who asked for his to be boxed up and asked if he could have mine too. I thought it was a little presumptuous but I didn't really have a "full" lunch/meal left so I gave it to him. He gave the bag to a homeless guy on our walk back to the subway and I was really impressed.

Was the chemistry just missing? I would have been strongly inclined to marry that person, myself.

Although I should add that the very jaded part of me suspects it could have been a 'move' intended to get him laid.

He just didn't want you to get fat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Threads like this make me so glad I’m married and can just be myself. Today I ate a leftover chicken nugget off my kids plate - was that rude? Probably, but it was abandoned and no one cared.

One assumes that you’re not trying to get in your kid’s pants.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is very rude to order an entire entree and not/hardly eat it with the intention of taking it home if you are not offering to pay. You are using that person for a free meal and it is rude and inconsiderate.

Taking home the remaining portion after eating an entire meal (too much food, large portions) is fine in my opinion.

But it's the same amount of food whether you eat a little or a lot of it at dinner.

[Anonymous]

This is fine to do, but you have to invite your date to join you for leftovers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women go on OLD sites for free meals without any interest in dating. It sends a signal that you are one of those women

No they don't.

I have a colleague who met her husband on Tinder and went on a dinner date with him because she just wanted a free meal (grad student at the time). She ended up liking him.

Totally common. Just like pretty young women who go to bars with the intention of not paying for a single drink.

Nobody is forcing these guys to buy drinks or dinner for pretty women.

But now you’re admitting that it does happen.

Tell the rest of the loons in this thread who insist “women don’t have time to go on dates just for a free meal!”

They say we are lying, but it’s absolutely the truth.

+1

I was the poster PP was responding to. The presumption that there isn’t a big population of women who have their hand out for a freebie is naive. It’s like assuming there aren’t a lot of pickpockets in a tourist trap. Many people try to get something extra through sleight of hand/sneakiness or trading on their beauty or whatever. I’m not interested in saying whether any of these folks have moral faults or it’s totally acceptable because everyone knows what they are getting or whatever.

It’s just ludicrous to suggest that it doesn’t happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women go on OLD sites for free meals without any interest in dating. It sends a signal that you are one of those women

No they don't.

DP here: yes, there are some women who do this on OLD. It's more common in NYC and LA, but I imagine there are probably some here in DC too.

No matter how much you want to deny it - and it may certainly not happen in your friend group - there are a non-zero number of women on OLD in major cities who dinner-date a few days per week. And men are more likely to encounter these women because of these women have a high frequency of meeting men for dinner.

For men in NYC, women on OLD will frequently ask that the man send the woman an Uber or Lyft to pick them up and bring them home. I've literally read the messages myself; it's absurd.

No this is just some BS that incels make up.

Woman here. It definitely happens. Women post about it on social media allllll the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women go on OLD sites for free meals without any interest in dating. It sends a signal that you are one of those women

I think this is urban myth. No one wants to sit through a crappy date just for "free meals."

[Anonymous]

I would find it awkward at best if I were on a date and someone had leftover food and asked for a doggy bag. I doubt I'd go out with them again. It's not appropriate given the context -- if you were in a nice restaurant with clients and you had a bit of food left, would you ask for a doggy bag? No. The only people here who would say that they would do so have never been in a nice restaurant with clients. It's a similar thing. If you are with your sibling, fine. Spouse, fine. Even bff, fine. But an early date? No. Business clients? No.

There are rules, people. And if you tell me "I don't care about things like that," I'll know your social skills are far below par. So, I guess you don't really have to care about that because you would be on dates with people at your level -- like 6 and below? -- who aren't in any position to be annoyed or not about doggy bags.