S/O "doggy bags" on early dates

[Anonymous]

Spinoff of the "upset my date" thread. Is it rude, odd, or inappropriate to take restaurant leftovers home with you after an early date? Say, the first 1-3 dates or so?

I don't think it's wrong, but it definitely sends the message that the date is over and you aren't going to ask or be up for an after-dinner walk by the water, drinks, etc.

Do you think people who leave their leftovers behind are wasteful or that people who pack up their leftovers are overly focused on the food rather than the date as a whole?

Not asking about what you do with your spouse, partner, or family - specifically asking in the context of early stages of dating.

[Anonymous]

I don't think it's rude, but I did most of my dating in my 20s when it was understood we were all trying to stretch a dollar. I still remember a date with one guy who asked for his to be boxed up and asked if he could have mine too. I thought it was a little presumptuous but I didn't really have a "full" lunch/meal left so I gave it to him. He gave the bag to a homeless guy on our walk back to the subway and I was really impressed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Spinoff of the "upset my date" thread. Is it rude, odd, or inappropriate to take restaurant leftovers home with you after an early date? Say, the first 1-3 dates or so?

I don't think it's wrong, but it definitely sends the message that the date is over and you aren't going to ask or be up for an after-dinner walk by the water, drinks, etc.

Do you think people who leave their leftovers behind are wasteful or that people who pack up their leftovers are overly focused on the food rather than the date as a whole?

Not asking about what you do with your spouse, partner, or family - specifically asking in the context of early stages of dating.

I dont think this is true. You can stash it in your car and head to the next place or go for a walk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Spinoff of the "upset my date" thread. Is it rude, odd, or inappropriate to take restaurant leftovers home with you after an early date? Say, the first 1-3 dates or so?

I don't think it's wrong, but it definitely sends the message that the date is over and you aren't going to ask or be up for an after-dinner walk by the water, drinks, etc.

Do you think people who leave their leftovers behind are wasteful or that people who pack up their leftovers are overly focused on the food rather than the date as a whole?

Not asking about what you do with your spouse, partner, or family - specifically asking in the context of early stages of dating.

It doesn't. People walk about with food everywhere in this country. Unless it's warm and you were planning on eating leftover raw fish sushi...

[Anonymous]

Women go on OLD sites for free meals without any interest in dating. It sends a signal that you are one of those women

[Anonymous]

I am a woman and this is from the perspective where the guy pays... if he asks for a to go bag for his food, I wouldn't care and it wouldn't impede going for a drink etc in my eyes. I would not take a to go bag for my food because I don't want to appear rude given that he paid. If he offered for me to take it home, I would.

All this is not a big deal imo.

[Anonymous]

It is very rude to order an entire entree and not/hardly eat it with the intention of taking it home if you are not offering to pay. You are using that person for a free meal and it is rude and inconsiderate.

Taking home the remaining portion after eating an entire meal (too much food, large portions) is fine in my opinion.

[Anonymous]

It's awkward on dates 1 to 3. That's the truth of it. You need to figure out what to do with the bag if you intend to go to another location after dinner. Or you need to awkwardly clutch your leftover curry while you try to enjoy a cocktail & flirt at the next bar. It also sorta sends out a vibe that you're splitting ways for the night ASAP.

If you barely touch the meal, the other person pays for it, and then you insist you want to take home the leftovers, you look like a cheapskate user. Also not a good look.

On dates 1-3, you should only order enough food to satiate your hunger (or lack thereof). This is especially true if the other person is paying the whole bill.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think it’s rude, odd or inappropriate. That said, as someone who grew up poor but now lives a life with really nice restaurants and wealthy people, no one takes them. I guess the undercurrent is you have plenty of food and money to not have to eat left overs. Just mentioning in case you’re trying to land a rich guy or a guy who comes from that world.

[Anonymous]

I don't think it's wrong to take a doggy bag, but I do think it's very odd to order a meal, eat two or three bites of it, insist that you liked it and then take the rest home.

[Anonymous]

guy here. if my first date takes leftover home, i'd love that. it says a lot of the person - all good in my book

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women go on OLD sites for free meals without any interest in dating. It sends a signal that you are one of those women

No they don't.

[Anonymous]

It's. It weird or rude.

Do get your anxiety under control so you can have a more pleasurable dating experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women go on OLD sites for free meals without any interest in dating. It sends a signal that you are one of those women

No they don't.

DP here: yes, there are some women who do this on OLD. It's more common in NYC and LA, but I imagine there are probably some here in DC too.

No matter how much you want to deny it - and it may certainly not happen in your friend group - there are a non-zero number of women on OLD in major cities who dinner-date a few days per week. And men are more likely to encounter these women because of these women have a high frequency of meeting men for dinner.

For men in NYC, women on OLD will frequently ask that the man send the woman an Uber or Lyft to pick them up and bring them home. I've literally read the messages myself; it's absurd.

[Anonymous]

Another perspective is that a lot of adults live with IBS and related gut conditions which cause uncomfortable symptoms after consuming a full meal, especially restaurant portions. They might feel it would be rude to leave a nearly full plate to go in the restaurant trash, but they don't want to consume the full meal or even a large helping of it because gut issues might prevent them from wanting to get frisky later in the evening. I'm sure there are many people on this board who can relate.