If you didn’t sleep train, what age did wake ups stop?
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Anonymous
It seems like you think letting a 6 month old cry it out for an hr 3 nights works as a sleep training method for everyone and then their kid just sleeps solidly from then on? I’m here to tell you: it doesn’t. We did that. Didn’t work. Kid didn’t reliably STTN til age 3. No, we weren’t ok w kid (or parents) being chronically sleep deprived. But until you’ve had a kid who resists every sleep training method, don’t judge other parents who have been in that situation. You apparently got lucky w an easy baby who sleep trained in 3 nights at age 6 months. We had a baby like that too. We also had another baby for whom that didn’t work. So…STFU |
Anonymous
And what would you recommend? I know sleep deprivation is bad. My kid and I lived it for years. I tried everything to not have it happen and it still did. You can’t control everything in life. Just because I know sleep is important and I prioritized it and tried my best to sleep train and set us up for solid sleep doesn’t mean I can force my kid to sleep. We tried every method, we saw drs and specialists specifically about sleep issues. Nothing worked. Some posters here seem to think if you just follow some formula you’ll get a good sleeper and if you have a bad sleeper that’s a reflection on you as a parent. Not in my experience. |
Anonymous
She is neurotypical and a great kid. Smart, funny, creative, very sweet and kind, has lots of friends, does very well in school, is a great dancer and very coordinated and strong physically, very healthy. She is on the sensitive side and is a bit shy. Otherwise totally normal easy kid now at age 7. She is a lot easier behaviorally than her older brother who is my great sleeper since he was born kid! |
Anonymous
I don't know, there are plenty of threads on here about how people sleep trained, but then their kid "forgets" the sleep training because they are in a hotel, or the kid doesn't feel well, or Grandma is visiting, or whatever. If we're going to hold non-sleep trained kids to the standard of "100%, never needs parents" then we need to hold the "sleep trained" ones to that too. I can't answer the OP's question about one of my non-sleep-trained kids, because he was sleeping through the night by about 5 months, so he was excluded. The other one coslept. He stopped waking me up at night when he stopped nursing. When we moved into a place with two bedrooms, and he moved into his own room, I taught him to just come climb in bed with me if he woke in the night. So, he still didn't wake me up unless he was throwing up or something, but it was a few more years before he never came to us. And because he was used to sleeping in a room with other people, he didn't have trouble on trips, or when we had visitors, or if there wasn't a sound machine, or all the other reasons that people with sleep trained kids experience trouble. |
Anonymous
It's a skill that every parent on this thread has said their kid mastered. |
Anonymous
This thread doesn't apply to you. You did sleep train. OP is asking about people who didn't sleep train. Which you did. Hello. |
Anonymous
| Kid 1 - 11 months. Kid 2 - 2.5 years. |
Anonymous
My heart goes out to you. I’m the OP. Thank you for answering. Yes, this is our situation too. But I hate discussing the details with all the angry, cantankerous jerks with easy kids so I just shorten it to “no sleep training.” People with easy, good sleepers just don’t get it and I don’t bother arguing with them. |
Anonymous
It does apply to me because sleep training wasn’t successful, which is what PPs who are criticizing parents of kids who don’t sleep well are saying is a parenting failure. |
Anonymous
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This is what I take from this thread, and all the similar conversations on DCUM.
If you sleep train, and you end up with a kid who sleeps well, it's because you are an awesome parent. If you attempt to sleep train, and you end up with a kid who resist, and struggle, it's because you have a hard kid and you get credit for crying. If you don't sleep train, and do other things instead, and those things work, it's just that you had an easy kid and you get no credit. If you don't sleep train, and your kid doesn't sleep well it's obviously completely your fault. Do I have it right? |
Anonymous
| 6 months. It was either gonna be my baby or me. I was dying of exhaustion. I let him cry 1 night. He cried for 5 minutes and went to sleep. Slept through the night after that. Now, turns out he had adhd. So for many years the issue was getting him to wind down enough to go to bed. He’d be like a motorized engine at bedtime. Never laid down with him though |
Anonymous
No, they're talking about parents who refuse to sleep train and have their six year olds waking four nights a week. That is a parenting failure. People who have kids who don't respond to sleep training aren't the issue. I know because I am one. |
Anonymous
I hope I’m not headed there because my daughter cannot be sleep trained. Our ped said her daughter was the same, stubborn, didn’t ask for her (worked for her other two though!). |
Anonymous
| Love the posters defending sleep training as establishing a “life skill.” So self-serving. How about deep trust in their primary caregiver as a handy skill to have? Oh, and a body that isn’t flooded with cortisol from infancy….? I know I’d much rather enjoy those and be “taught to sleep” at age 2 |
Anonymous
lol. How many tin hats you have hiding back there? |