If you didn’t sleep train, what age did wake ups stop?
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Anonymous
+1 messsssed up |
Anonymous
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I’m not the PP with the child who was resistant to sleep training but my experience with my oldest was similar. We also attempted sleep training and hired a consultant because we were desperate and it was terrible but saw some improvement. Until the next developmental milestone. The thing about some kids is they have to be trained over and over and you have to be willing to do it. We were inconsistent but did always have DC1 in the crib- never once let them into our bed. Around 2.5 things clicked and that child has generally slept through the night but has consistently had a hard time falling asleep and had lower sleep needs until they were diagnosed with ADHD and put on clonidine (which also helps with sleep).
My second child was totally different. Never fought sleep the same way and we did a much more gradual and nicer approach to sleep training *because we could *. It was a very different experience. This kid does still occasionally wake up during the night at 5 but at a level I can live with and usually related to illness or something. Both kids are really low sleep needs though. That’s just how they are. |
Anonymous
That’s a good age to do it! I sleep trained both my kids at 9 months with great success. Only a few hard nights and they both sleep 11 solid hours at 1.5 and 3.5 years. |
Anonymous
| My older son, 2. My now 3.5 year old… still waiting! Every kid is different. |
Anonymous
| The most tiger moms I know (from India and Korea) never did CIO. That should tell you something. Most of the world’s parents wouldn’t even consider this practice but somehow it’s become acceptable here |
Anonymous
And you need to learn empathy. Are you a narcissist? |
Anonymous
+1, we are one if the few cultures that does this to babies and young children |
Anonymous
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All three kids stopped routinely waking up in the night right before their second birthdays.
They still wake up when sick or due to nightmares, but those are exceptions to the rule. |
Anonymous
| My first was waking up overnight, or sleeping with us, until she was 6. We had our third kid and I couldn’t deal with all there anymore; I will admit it was a very very tough transition. Second and third kids were doing pretty well at 4. Looking back I wish I had sleep trained, our choice worked fine when we had one kid but become unsustainable with 2 and then 3, but there’s nothing I can do about it now. |
Anonymous
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You can say that sleep training demonstrates that kids can’t rely on you to come when they are distressed.
You can say that not sleep training is reinforcing their kids’ fear by going to them every time they wake up as if a problem needs to be solved and they are correct to cry. There is no empirical evidence saying that sleep training is better or worse for kids. We are all fine, and can put down the pitchforks now. |
Anonymous
We are also one of few cultures that doesn’t condone spanking. This is not a good argument - if we made all cultural decisions by looking at what was most common, we would have no progressive change. |
Anonymous
+1000 So PP I suppose you're down with all Indian and South Korean child rearing techniques? Including corporal punishment? You know, since you think it's so superior? |
Anonymous
This isn’t an either/or situation. I didn’t sleep train my kids and they were sleeping through the night by 6/7 months, which worked fine by me. Never had sleep problems since then and they are in middle school now. Look, the main reason parents sleep train is because of parental sleep deprivation. And it’s a valid one- people cannot function without enough sleep. Otherwise, it’s hard to argue that holding and comforting a crying baby is the wrong thing to do. My kids were both raised in other countries - one in Asia and one in Europe. “Sleep training” doesn’t exist in most countries. Babies are held and comforted and then they sleep on their own. So it’s worth flipping this concept on its head and examine why many americans are convinced sleep training is the only way to go. Maternity and paternity leave are much more generous in other countries. The Uk gives 6 months paid and 6 months unpaid. Most of the moms I knew took the full 12 months. Japan gives 12 months paid PATERNITY leave. Also, in Asia, paid help is very inexpensive. Americans use CIO and sleep training because new moms and dads have less buffer for sleep deprivation because maternity and paternity leave is short/nonexistent, and nighttime help is expensive. I didn’t sleep train because I had no need to. I had leave, my husband had leave, I had access to cheap nighttime help if I wanted it, I enjoyed nursing my babies at night, I slept 8 hours a day because my husband was home, and there was inexpensive daytime help. But if I had been in the us with 3 months leave? Yeah, I would have been forced to sleep train. |