I don't understand people who do not love their family

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My grandmother neglected my mother, told her she did not love her, and that she wanted a boy and not her, and slapped her around any chance she got, then as soon as she was old enough, sent her to convent school to be educated (abused) by nuns. Then at 16, my mother was taken out of school, because her parents wanted to marry her off, but my mother left instead, to work without a diploma and try and fend for herself. Her parents never gave her a penny.

The funny thing is that when my grandmother lost all her money in her old age, she sued her own kids for money. Some tried to help. My mother did help for falls and other emergencies (I remember going with her). But she did her best to avoid seeing her mother, most of the time.

So what was it you were saying, OP?

Your mom is so fortunate to have a child clearly so devoted to her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree OP. As an immigrant, it’s shocking to me how many Americans seem to hate their families.

I am an immigrant. I don't hate my family, I am way past that. But I don't allow them near or my children. Grown ass people who are verbally and emotionally abusive, not to mention moochers. The best thing I ever did was move out when I graduated from HS and live across country.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree OP. As an immigrant, it’s shocking to me how many Americans seem to hate their families.

Well, at least it’s not culturally insisted upon that we Americans stay tied to family members that abused, raped, or neglected us all for the sake of “family honor.”

[Anonymous]

I love my family very much, but they are hard people to be around. Lots of emotional abuse and constant criticism.

Probably because my grandma didn't really want to have any kids, never told my mom or siblings she loved them, and would have had abortions if it had been legal. Just wait til about 20 years from now in certain states, there will be a whole lot more adult kids not wanting anything to do with their families.

[Anonymous]

I don’t understand what you don’t understand OP? I love my own children as much as my parents love me. I make the same sacrifices and expend the same effort for my kids that my parents did for me. My parents also did a good job of maintaining their own identities outside of being parents and did not put their lives, hopes, and dreams on hold. I am sure they made some choices that were a sacrifice to benefit me, but they did not unfairly hold that over my head or live vicariously through me, expecting me to realize their hopes and dreams for them.

Did you simultaneously dote on your parents and stay close while also attending to you own marriage and children? If you choose to be a mommy martyr and then feel lost and unfulfilled without your children, that’s on you. The purpose of raising children is to support them to be independent, successful adults. I love my kids and I love being a parent - but I am a woman and a wife first and I will be both of those things much longer than the 2 decades I am parenting on a daily basis.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your mother and father raise you with so much love and care, putting their own lives hopes and dreams on hold...

That's a nice fantasy. How do you feel about lying, cheating, abusive a holes? Remember that any psycho can reproduce, OP.

Lol. My dad spent his paycheck on beer and cigarettes not food for his kids. Such love and care.

[Anonymous]

I have a sister who, as executor of our parent’s will, has hidden assets and is keeping personal items that should have been distributed to the heirs. She has said mean-spirited and untrue things to me about my relationship with my parents and I have been told that she has made these statements to others.

I have no need to have a relationship with someone like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, are you a recent immigrant, from a South or East Asian culture?
Asking because you sound just like my parents who told us everyday how we should appreciate their sacrifices in raising us, buying our clothes and feeding us, ensuring we had a good education, changing our diapers.

But they did not love us as we were.
They neglected us emotionally.
Both were verbally abusive, criticizing constantly. Respect was not in their vocabulary.

I was mom’s helper from a young age. I have a vivid memory of being alone at home around age 7 or 8 scrubbing the floors on my hands and knees. I was cold in the house so I turned up the thermostat. Had no idea how high but it warmed up. My mom yelled at me when she returned home with my sibs, why was I wasting electricity?

My father molested me when I was 12 during a time when my mom had returned to home country for a 3 month vacation. She didn’t make arrangements for who to turn to if we needed a mom. I remember getting my period and not having access to any pads.

I was asked to work in my father’s business from age 13. He was horribly horribly verbally abusive. I fantasized about running away from home constantly. When I was 16, I attempted suicide.

None of my sibs are close. We weren’t loved but made to feel guilty for being a burden on our parents. My family is made up of friends who care about me in a way my parents and siblings do not. I have a DS, I was determined to break the cycle of abuse and have managed to raise a loving and respectful young man who’s now 19. I have several degrees, have been fairly successful professionally but being able to overcome what I experienced to be a much better parent than my parents were is my greatest accomplishment.

Op, does this give you any insight?

I am so sorry that happens to you. You, like every child, deserved so much better. It sounds like you have a lot of clarity about your childhood. Breaking a cycle of abuse like that is an amazing achievement.

This is the PP, thank you for your kind words.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your mother and father raise you with so much love and care, putting their own lives hopes and dreams on hold to stay up with you all night, wiping your poop, paying for your clothes, watching loving you just as you are. Your siblings are people you were automatic best friends, and companions in this wild ride through life. You grew up together!

And then people grow up and want to move away from their parents and aren't close to their siblings...How?

How can any one else in the world replace this kind of love??

U less you have walked in their shoes and experienced everything they have, respectfully, you should stfu.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your mother and father raise you with so much love and care, putting their own lives hopes and dreams on hold to stay up with you all night, wiping your poop, paying for your clothes, watching loving you just as you are. Your siblings are people you were automatic best friends, and companions in this wild ride through life. You grew up together!

And then people grow up and want to move away from their parents and aren't close to their siblings...How?

How can any one else in the world replace this kind of love??

Because everyone does not get that kind of love, dumb dumb.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your mother and father raise you with so much love and care, putting their own lives hopes and dreams on hold to stay up with you all night, wiping your poop, paying for your clothes, watching loving you just as you are. Your siblings are people you were automatic best friends, and companions in this wild ride through life. You grew up together!

And then people grow up and want to move away from their parents and aren't close to their siblings...How?

How can any one else in the world replace this kind of love??

You're a moron if you don't understand how some people didn't have the life you set out above. Do you literally have no concept of that? GTF out with your judgment and condescension.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your mother and father raise you with so much love and care, putting their own lives hopes and dreams on hold to stay up with you all night, wiping your poop, paying for your clothes, watching loving you just as you are. Your siblings are people you were automatic best friends, and companions in this wild ride through life. You grew up together!

And then people grow up and want to move away from their parents and aren't close to their siblings...How?

How can any one else in the world replace this kind of love??

My mother and father did not raise me with love or care. And never loved me just as I am. You live in a fantasy world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your mother and father raise you with so much love and care, putting their own lives hopes and dreams on hold to stay up with you all night, wiping your poop, paying for your clothes, watching loving you just as you are. Your siblings are people you were automatic best friends, and companions in this wild ride through life. You grew up together!

And then people grow up and want to move away from their parents and aren't close to their siblings...How?

How can any one else in the world replace this kind of love??

I don't understand parents who abuse their children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your mother and father raise you with so much love and care, putting their own lives hopes and dreams on hold to stay up with you all night, wiping your poop, paying for your clothes, watching loving you just as you are. Your siblings are people you were automatic best friends, and companions in this wild ride through life. You grew up together!

And then people grow up and want to move away from their parents and aren't close to their siblings...How?

How can any one else in the world replace this kind of love??

Bec what you described isn’t reality for many families

My mother’s family let’s see brother who ran supply of organized child porn. My mother bailed him out of jail with $10,000 however they begged us kids for money. That’s nothing I can go on and on

My mother and her criminal shits can stay far far away

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your mother and father raise you with so much love and care, putting their own lives hopes and dreams on hold to stay up with you all night, wiping your poop, paying for your clothes, watching loving you just as you are. Your siblings are people you were automatic best friends, and companions in this wild ride through life. You grew up together!

And then people grow up and want to move away from their parents and aren't close to their siblings...How?

How can any one else in the world replace this kind of love??

OP, surely you understand that the above does not describe all parents or all family experiences?