Warning shot

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Where was it ever written that adult children should count on significant inheritances and parents should conserve/preserve their assets for their kids to enjoy after their deaths?

This is the attitude of the eternal peasant who came from nothing and will leave nothing, even unto the nth generation.

You should not need written instructions to tell you that creating generational wealth is superior to pissing it all away in your own lifetime.

So so true. Many working folks who struggle might not, or not as much, if there had been even a small cushion of money to help with a first home purchase or to stave off medical debt.

But the reality for many is living like a peasant, spending nothing, being miserly, to pass a little along. Most people don’t have much of anything to bequeath after long term care. They aren’t living large going on luxury cruises.

Agree. But a lot of the discussion here is about how should children respond when parents are big spenders.

If the parents go on trips and cruises, then run out, they never had the type of money that was going to make a difference for the next generation. That's small potatoes if that's all they had and once divvied up is a little extra but not enough to provide much in the way of generational wealth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Where was it ever written that adult children should count on significant inheritances and parents should conserve/preserve their assets for their kids to enjoy after their deaths?

This is the attitude of the eternal peasant who came from nothing and will leave nothing, even unto the nth generation.

You should not need written instructions to tell you that creating generational wealth is superior to pissing it all away in your own lifetime.

So so true. Many working folks who struggle might not, or not as much, if there had been even a small cushion of money to help with a first home purchase or to stave off medical debt.

But the reality for many is living like a peasant, spending nothing, being miserly, to pass a little along. Most people don’t have much of anything to bequeath after long term care. They aren’t living large going on luxury cruises.

Agree. But a lot of the discussion here is about how should children respond when parents are big spenders.

If the parents go on trips and cruises, then run out, they never had the type of money that was going to make a difference for the next generation. That's small potatoes if that's all they had and once divvied up is a little extra but not enough to provide much in the way of generational wealth.

So, parents who went on trips and cruises and are now asking for children to pay for AL, CCRC, and nursing homes is cool?

I'm genuinely asking.

Also, I think even modest amounts of money can make a difference for folks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Where was it ever written that adult children should count on significant inheritances and parents should conserve/preserve their assets for their kids to enjoy after their deaths?

This is the attitude of the eternal peasant who came from nothing and will leave nothing, even unto the nth generation.

You should not need written instructions to tell you that creating generational wealth is superior to pissing it all away in your own lifetime.

So so true. Many working folks who struggle might not, or not as much, if there had been even a small cushion of money to help with a first home purchase or to stave off medical debt.

But the reality for many is living like a peasant, spending nothing, being miserly, to pass a little along. Most people don’t have much of anything to bequeath after long term care. They aren’t living large going on luxury cruises.

Agree. But a lot of the discussion here is about how should children respond when parents are big spenders.

If the parents go on trips and cruises, then run out, they never had the type of money that was going to make a difference for the next generation. That's small potatoes if that's all they had and once divvied up is a little extra but not enough to provide much in the way of generational wealth.

So, parents who went on trips and cruises and are now asking for children to pay for AL, CCRC, and nursing homes is cool?

I'm genuinely asking.

Also, I think even modest amounts of money can make a difference for folks.

If they shelled out hundreds of thousands to educate them and would like them to pay some back in this way, sure, why not? A lot of parents sacrificed and saved and finally want to enjoy their retirement? It's hard to begrudge them that. Maybe parents will have to start thinking long term and just let their kids take out massive loans so that they don't run out before end of life of their own money if asking the kids would be out of the question and they are not to enjoy anything later in life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Where was it ever written that adult children should count on significant inheritances and parents should conserve/preserve their assets for their kids to enjoy after their deaths?

This is the attitude of the eternal peasant who came from nothing and will leave nothing, even unto the nth generation.

You should not need written instructions to tell you that creating generational wealth is superior to pissing it all away in your own lifetime.

So so true. Many working folks who struggle might not, or not as much, if there had been even a small cushion of money to help with a first home purchase or to stave off medical debt.

But the reality for many is living like a peasant, spending nothing, being miserly, to pass a little along. Most people don’t have much of anything to bequeath after long term care. They aren’t living large going on luxury cruises.

Agree. But a lot of the discussion here is about how should children respond when parents are big spenders.

If the parents go on trips and cruises, then run out, they never had the type of money that was going to make a difference for the next generation. That's small potatoes if that's all they had and once divvied up is a little extra but not enough to provide much in the way of generational wealth.

So, parents who went on trips and cruises and are now asking for children to pay for AL, CCRC, and nursing homes is cool?

I'm genuinely asking.

Also, I think even modest amounts of money can make a difference for folks.

If they shelled out hundreds of thousands to educate them and would like them to pay some back in this way, sure, why not? A lot of parents sacrificed and saved and finally want to enjoy their retirement? It's hard to begrudge them that. Maybe parents will have to start thinking long term and just let their kids take out massive loans so that they don't run out before end of life of their own money if asking the kids would be out of the question and they are not to enjoy anything later in life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Where was it ever written that adult children should count on significant inheritances and parents should conserve/preserve their assets for their kids to enjoy after their deaths?

This is the attitude of the eternal peasant who came from nothing and will leave nothing, even unto the nth generation.

You should not need written instructions to tell you that creating generational wealth is superior to pissing it all away in your own lifetime.

So so true. Many working folks who struggle might not, or not as much, if there had been even a small cushion of money to help with a first home purchase or to stave off medical debt.

But the reality for many is living like a peasant, spending nothing, being miserly, to pass a little along. Most people don’t have much of anything to bequeath after long term care. They aren’t living large going on luxury cruises.

Agree. But a lot of the discussion here is about how should children respond when parents are big spenders.

If the parents go on trips and cruises, then run out, they never had the type of money that was going to make a difference for the next generation. That's small potatoes if that's all they had and once divvied up is a little extra but not enough to provide much in the way of generational wealth.

So, parents who went on trips and cruises and are now asking for children to pay for AL, CCRC, and nursing homes is cool?

I'm genuinely asking.

Also, I think even modest amounts of money can make a difference for folks.

If they shelled out hundreds of thousands to educate them and would like them to pay some back in this way, sure, why not? A lot of parents sacrificed and saved and finally want to enjoy their retirement? It's hard to begrudge them that. Maybe parents will have to start thinking long term and just let their kids take out massive loans so that they don't run out before end of life of their own money if asking the kids would be out of the question and they are not to enjoy anything later in life.

So folks with less money in their accounts and facing possibly more costly retirements should fund their parents' cruises and trips? So these adult children can then work till they die?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Where was it ever written that adult children should count on significant inheritances and parents should conserve/preserve their assets for their kids to enjoy after their deaths?

This is the attitude of the eternal peasant who came from nothing and will leave nothing, even unto the nth generation.

You should not need written instructions to tell you that creating generational wealth is superior to pissing it all away in your own lifetime.

So so true. Many working folks who struggle might not, or not as much, if there had been even a small cushion of money to help with a first home purchase or to stave off medical debt.

But the reality for many is living like a peasant, spending nothing, being miserly, to pass a little along. Most people don’t have much of anything to bequeath after long term care. They aren’t living large going on luxury cruises.

Agree. But a lot of the discussion here is about how should children respond when parents are big spenders.

If the parents go on trips and cruises, then run out, they never had the type of money that was going to make a difference for the next generation. That's small potatoes if that's all they had and once divvied up is a little extra but not enough to provide much in the way of generational wealth.

So, parents who went on trips and cruises and are now asking for children to pay for AL, CCRC, and nursing homes is cool?

I'm genuinely asking.

Also, I think even modest amounts of money can make a difference for folks.

If they shelled out hundreds of thousands to educate them and would like them to pay some back in this way, sure, why not? A lot of parents sacrificed and saved and finally want to enjoy their retirement? It's hard to begrudge them that. Maybe parents will have to start thinking long term and just let their kids take out massive loans so that they don't run out before end of life of their own money if asking the kids would be out of the question and they are not to enjoy anything later in life.

So folks with less money in their accounts and facing possibly more costly retirements should fund their parents' cruises and trips? So these adult children can then work till they die?

Think of how much worse you would be off if your parents didn't pay for your education. Or maybe how much better they would be if that hadn't made that investment in you. What goes around comes around. And it sounds like OPs parents can pay for their cruises and trips the great unknown is how long they will live for. I thought my parents were going to run into tough financial times ahead, as they are getting low on funds due to spending. But, hey, now my mom recently found out she has Stave 4 cancer and probably only 6 months to live. So, you never know how things will play out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Where was it ever written that adult children should count on significant inheritances and parents should conserve/preserve their assets for their kids to enjoy after their deaths?

This is the attitude of the eternal peasant who came from nothing and will leave nothing, even unto the nth generation.

You should not need written instructions to tell you that creating generational wealth is superior to pissing it all away in your own lifetime.

So so true. Many working folks who struggle might not, or not as much, if there had been even a small cushion of money to help with a first home purchase or to stave off medical debt.

But the reality for many is living like a peasant, spending nothing, being miserly, to pass a little along. Most people don’t have much of anything to bequeath after long term care. They aren’t living large going on luxury cruises.

Agree. But a lot of the discussion here is about how should children respond when parents are big spenders.

If the parents go on trips and cruises, then run out, they never had the type of money that was going to make a difference for the next generation. That's small potatoes if that's all they had and once divvied up is a little extra but not enough to provide much in the way of generational wealth.

So, parents who went on trips and cruises and are now asking for children to pay for AL, CCRC, and nursing homes is cool?

I'm genuinely asking.

Also, I think even modest amounts of money can make a difference for folks.

If they shelled out hundreds of thousands to educate them and would like them to pay some back in this way, sure, why not? A lot of parents sacrificed and saved and finally want to enjoy their retirement? It's hard to begrudge them that. Maybe parents will have to start thinking long term and just let their kids take out massive loans so that they don't run out before end of life of their own money if asking the kids would be out of the question and they are not to enjoy anything later in life.

So folks with less money in their accounts and facing possibly more costly retirements should fund their parents' cruises and trips? So these adult children can then work till they die?

Think of how much worse you would be off if your parents didn't pay for your education. Or maybe how much better they would be if that hadn't made that investment in you. What goes around comes around. And it sounds like OPs parents can pay for their cruises and trips the great unknown is how long they will live for. I thought my parents were going to run into tough financial times ahead, as they are getting low on funds due to spending. But, hey, now my mom recently found out she has Stave 4 cancer and probably only 6 months to live. So, you never know how things will play out.

FWIW, my ILs didn’t pay for my education. And they didn’t contribute towards our wedding because “that’s what the bride’s parents do”. We paid for our wedding as my parents had little money and it would not have been prudent to have them do so. My parents lived a modest life lest they be a burden. We helped out as possible. Our HHI then was nowhere near where it is now. Should our kids get less money because the older generation spent all of theirs and now want in on ours?

My heart goes out to your mom and your family.

[Anonymous]

I never expected an inheritance. That's a strange way to plan your own retirement.

No one should count on that. Be grateful if you get one, but do not assume.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's easy to get euthanized in my country, Canada. We qualify for almost everything including the early stages of Alzheimer's. The doctors will even warn you when you are getting close to slipping past competence.

I will never go to a care home or piss away a lifetime of savings and hand it to the elder-care-industry. Even if I had a stroke and couldn't communicate except through eye blinks I would choose it. They also don't keep us going on life support very long. They tend to pull the plug fairly soon. We have half the rate of dialysis as Americans do.

The American fake "life is sacred" is really about the dough-re-mi. Follow the money, it's always about that.

This is how it should be IMO. I work in healthcare and there is very little quality of life once someone is in the middle stages of Alzheimer's. I will go to Switzerland or end it myself if I have to. It has nothing to do with having an inheritance to pass on to my hypothetical maybe in the future children. It's about saving myself from a cruel fate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For all of you that think going to another country to get euthanized is easy, think again.

It isnt easy so it’s something I am thinking about now in my 50’s and will continue to do so in my 60’s and 70’s. I am 100% certain I don’t want to suffer and wither away for years with Alzheimer’s/dementia. It is so cruel to make a person endure losing the ability to walk, to become incontinent, to lose the ability to recognize loved ones, then lose the ability to eat and drink.

+ Also my MIL w dementia has lost the ability to talk as well and hasn’t said a coherent word in over a year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For all of you that think going to another country to get euthanized is easy, think again.

It isnt easy so it’s something I am thinking about now in my 50’s and will continue to do so in my 60’s and 70’s. I am 100% certain I don’t want to suffer and wither away for years with Alzheimer’s/dementia. It is so cruel to make a person endure losing the ability to walk, to become incontinent, to lose the ability to recognize loved ones, then lose the ability to eat and drink.

+ Also my MIL w dementia has lost the ability to talk as well and hasn’t said a coherent word in over a year.

Why isn't there a movement to allow compassionate death for people in this situation. It is torturous and not many people would ever wish this on a love one or want to endure it. There really needs to be options like no antibiotics, or other medicine, no giving meal replacement drinks like ensure, etc. that just prolongs the suffering.

[Anonymous]

Long term dementia care drained away my parents' carefully planned, modest retirement and now we are subsidizing their care. They never got the travel or snow bird stuff, just the medical bills. Mom still has her good moments, which is nice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Where was it ever written that adult children should count on significant inheritances and parents should conserve/preserve their assets for their kids to enjoy after their deaths?

This is the attitude of the eternal peasant who came from nothing and will leave nothing, even unto the nth generation.

You should not need written instructions to tell you that creating generational wealth is superior to pissing it all away in your own lifetime.

So so true. Many working folks who struggle might not, or not as much, if there had been even a small cushion of money to help with a first home purchase or to stave off medical debt.

But the reality for many is living like a peasant, spending nothing, being miserly, to pass a little along. Most people don’t have much of anything to bequeath after long term care. They aren’t living large going on luxury cruises.

Agree. But a lot of the discussion here is about how should children respond when parents are big spenders.

If the parents go on trips and cruises, then run out, they never had the type of money that was going to make a difference for the next generation. That's small potatoes if that's all they had and once divvied up is a little extra but not enough to provide much in the way of generational wealth.

So, parents who went on trips and cruises and are now asking for children to pay for AL, CCRC, and nursing homes is cool?

I'm genuinely asking.

Also, I think even modest amounts of money can make a difference for folks.

If they shelled out hundreds of thousands to educate them and would like them to pay some back in this way, sure, why not? A lot of parents sacrificed and saved and finally want to enjoy their retirement? It's hard to begrudge them that. Maybe parents will have to start thinking long term and just let their kids take out massive loans so that they don't run out before end of life of their own money if asking the kids would be out of the question and they are not to enjoy anything later in life.

So folks with less money in their accounts and facing possibly more costly retirements should fund their parents' cruises and trips? So these adult children can then work till they die?

Think of how much worse you would be off if your parents didn't pay for your education. Or maybe how much better they would be if that hadn't made that investment in you. What goes around comes around. And it sounds like OPs parents can pay for their cruises and trips the great unknown is how long they will live for. I thought my parents were going to run into tough financial times ahead, as they are getting low on funds due to spending. But, hey, now my mom recently found out she has Stave 4 cancer and probably only 6 months to live. So, you never know how things will play out.

I'm sorry about your mom's diagnosis.

Perhaps this isn't what you intended the line about what goes around comes around to mean, but IMO my parents paying for my undergrad education doesn't obligate me to pay it back to them for elderly/end of life care but obligates me to try to pay it forward to my kids. I'm doing everything I can to pay it forward to my kids, but I can't both pay it forward by supporting my kids and pay it back by supporting my parents. Parents owe it to their kids to do the best they can by them - this doesn't mean paying out the nose for travel sports, private schools, etc. but doing the best they can while also saving to support their own needs in old age.

We don't choose to have parents and didn't choose to be born but we do choose to have our own kids, so we have to do our best to support them until they're adults while also doing our best not to become burdens in our old age. Elderly people don't owe their kids an inheritance, but they should be fiscally prudent enough not to blow their money on cruises etc. if it will leave their adult kids (or society) in a financial jam later.

[Anonymous]

People had parents pay for their education? I worked and had loans!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The article is biased, IMO. Skewing against the horrid boomer generation.

Where was it ever written that adult children should count on significant inheritances and parents should conserve/preserve their assets for their kids to enjoy after their deaths?

Most Boomers did not inherit money from their parents, the Greatest Generation, who were Depresssion-era.

The money Boomers have they earned. Many of them (working blue collar jobs) also put their kids through college, which they themselves didn't have the benefit of.

Yet their adult kids begrudge them going on trips and enjoying what little time they have left? What a sad world we live in.

Is that true? The greatest generation and silent generation tended to earn a lot since the depression because they already had housing and got a lot of governmental assistance after the war. Most of the families I know received at least a house as part of inheritance. Often more.