Charging people to attend a home holiday party

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've never heard of someone doing this. Absolutely ridiculous when, as the host, you can choose a time and party format that work for your budget. The only time our friend group has done cash contributions for a party was when we moved our usual annual restaurant dinner to someone's house due to covid concerns, and we all split the catering bill.

OP here. When we go out normally, we split the bill. The host invited us to her house for a holiday party but then requested $ to cover food and drinks.

We would just politely decline. These would not be people we want to do anything with that costs money. We are not cheap, but we expect our friends to also not be cheap. I don't care if you serve wheat thins and babybel cheese for appetizers, but don't charge me for it.

[Anonymous]

It’s okay if you’re 22, the cover is $15 and there’s a really good chance you’ll get laid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have heard of house parties and rent parties that had cover charges back in the day in urban neighborhoods. . Is it that type of thing?

I think this would be fine if it’s understood what it’s all about.

But if a friend invited me over and wanted to charge me?? No.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No way.

Have people bring a dish and byob.

Even that is ... not classy. If you're just providing the house then be very clear about that. I am not attending potlucks or paying to attend any parties.

What’s up with the antagonism towards potlucks or bringing a dish? This seems like a new very faux-bougie classist or antisocial millenial-coded thing.

+1

For family or close friends, asking people to bring a dish or dessert etc is perfectly fine. My Great Aunt/Uncle do things this way- they are elderly and enjoy hosting -happy to provide the space and main dish but appreciate help with the rest. They ask the rest of us to bring sides and dessert etc. It is fine. When we have close friends over for a casual meal they often offer to bring an app or dessert and I accept. Why not? Acquaintances are different, but for close friends and family it’s fine.

They aren’t really ‘hosting’ then… they just don’t want to deal with traveling to someone else’s home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No way.

Have people bring a dish and byob.

Even that is ... not classy. If you're just providing the house then be very clear about that. I am not attending potlucks or paying to attend any parties.

What’s up with the antagonism towards potlucks or bringing a dish? This seems like a new very faux-bougie classist or antisocial millenial-coded thing.

+1

For family or close friends, asking people to bring a dish or dessert etc is perfectly fine. My Great Aunt/Uncle do things this way- they are elderly and enjoy hosting -happy to provide the space and main dish but appreciate help with the rest. They ask the rest of us to bring sides and dessert etc. It is fine. When we have close friends over for a casual meal they often offer to bring an app or dessert and I accept. Why not? Acquaintances are different, but for close friends and family it’s fine.

They aren’t really ‘hosting’ then… they just don’t want to deal with traveling to someone else’s home.

But they are doing the all the other work of actual hosting—making room to sit and place dishes, greeting and facilitating guests, providing silverware and plates, cleaning up after everyone trashes their home, and so on.

[Anonymous]

Offer $53. See if they’ll negotiate. 😂

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No way.

Have people bring a dish and byob.

Even that is ... not classy. If you're just providing the house then be very clear about that. I am not attending potlucks or paying to attend any parties.

What’s up with the antagonism towards potlucks or bringing a dish? This seems like a new very faux-bougie classist or antisocial millenial-coded thing.

+1

For family or close friends, asking people to bring a dish or dessert etc is perfectly fine. My Great Aunt/Uncle do things this way- they are elderly and enjoy hosting -happy to provide the space and main dish but appreciate help with the rest. They ask the rest of us to bring sides and dessert etc. It is fine. When we have close friends over for a casual meal they often offer to bring an app or dessert and I accept. Why not? Acquaintances are different, but for close friends and family it’s fine.

They aren’t really ‘hosting’ then… they just don’t want to deal with traveling to someone else’s home.

You are saying that they aren't hosting if they don't provide every bit of food and drink? That's crazy. There is so much that goes into hosting people beyond that. Having the space, cleaning it, getting seating for people, cleaning up afterwards. What a ridiculous statement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No way.

Have people bring a dish and byob.

Even that is ... not classy. If you're just providing the house then be very clear about that. I am not attending potlucks or paying to attend any parties.

What’s up with the antagonism towards potlucks or bringing a dish? This seems like a new very faux-bougie classist or antisocial millenial-coded thing.

+1

For family or close friends, asking people to bring a dish or dessert etc is perfectly fine. My Great Aunt/Uncle do things this way- they are elderly and enjoy hosting -happy to provide the space and main dish but appreciate help with the rest. They ask the rest of us to bring sides and dessert etc. It is fine. When we have close friends over for a casual meal they often offer to bring an app or dessert and I accept. Why not? Acquaintances are different, but for close friends and family it’s fine.

They aren’t really ‘hosting’ then… they just don’t want to deal with traveling to someone else’s home.

But they are doing the all the other work of actual hosting—making room to sit and place dishes, greeting and facilitating guests, providing silverware and plates, cleaning up after everyone trashes their home, and so on.

LOL @ "making room for dishes" and "providing silverware" as hosting.

[Anonymous]

Every time I think people can’t get any tackier, I read something like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No way.

Have people bring a dish and byob.

Even that is ... not classy. If you're just providing the house then be very clear about that. I am not attending potlucks or paying to attend any parties.

What’s up with the antagonism towards potlucks or bringing a dish? This seems like a new very faux-bougie classist or antisocial millenial-coded thing.

+1

For family or close friends, asking people to bring a dish or dessert etc is perfectly fine. My Great Aunt/Uncle do things this way- they are elderly and enjoy hosting -happy to provide the space and main dish but appreciate help with the rest. They ask the rest of us to bring sides and dessert etc. It is fine. When we have close friends over for a casual meal they often offer to bring an app or dessert and I accept. Why not? Acquaintances are different, but for close friends and family it’s fine.

They aren’t really ‘hosting’ then… they just don’t want to deal with traveling to someone else’s home.

You are saying that they aren't hosting if they don't provide every bit of food and drink? That's crazy. There is so much that goes into hosting people beyond that. Having the space, cleaning it, getting seating for people, cleaning up afterwards. What a ridiculous statement.

Whats the clean up if everyone brings their own sh*t and takes their own sh*t home at the end of the night? Plates and forks? Is doing a load of dishes considered hosting these days? What low bars we have yikes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No way.

Have people bring a dish and byob.

Even that is ... not classy. If you're just providing the house then be very clear about that. I am not attending potlucks or paying to attend any parties.

What’s up with the antagonism towards potlucks or bringing a dish? This seems like a new very faux-bougie classist or antisocial millenial-coded thing.

+1

For family or close friends, asking people to bring a dish or dessert etc is perfectly fine. My Great Aunt/Uncle do things this way- they are elderly and enjoy hosting -happy to provide the space and main dish but appreciate help with the rest. They ask the rest of us to bring sides and dessert etc. It is fine. When we have close friends over for a casual meal they often offer to bring an app or dessert and I accept. Why not? Acquaintances are different, but for close friends and family it’s fine.

They aren’t really ‘hosting’ then… they just don’t want to deal with traveling to someone else’s home.

You are saying that they aren't hosting if they don't provide every bit of food and drink? That's crazy. There is so much that goes into hosting people beyond that. Having the space, cleaning it, getting seating for people, cleaning up afterwards. What a ridiculous statement.

Whats the clean up if everyone brings their own sh*t and takes their own sh*t home at the end of the night? Plates and forks? Is doing a load of dishes considered hosting these days? What low bars we have yikes.

^^^Tell us you’re a miserable person without telling us you’re a miserable person

[Anonymous]

Trollololol

[Anonymous]

Potlucks and chip-ins are fine for college kids and keggers.
Adults should learn how to actually host.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd way rather stay inside in my jammies.

I also don't do potlucks anymore. Host or dont, but dont ask me to fund the party at your house.[/quote

OMG. Our work holiday party is a potluck! I am not catering it, . The managers can buy a ham and some dip FFS. I am not going.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much are they charging? You know, so we can enjoy this thread more

$75 for food and drinks

Oh no! I can go to a mid restaurant for dinner and a glass of wine for that.