Why are so many younger men trying to date women 30s and up?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:38yo divorced mom and I have noticed the same thing!! It’s crazy!! The 25yos are so into me. It’s very much not mutual LOL. I’m not even up for dating at the moment but if I were I’d be looking for a man similar to me, ie late 30s to late 40s who already did the marriage and kids thing and not looking to create another family. But I’m fighting off the 25yos with a damn stick!! (My job and hobbies are all tech related so I meet a ton of them)

It also may be down to the way millennials are aging. For a while people were saying that "people are just looking younger now" but then Gen Z came along. There has been a lot of discourse about Gen Z looking older, and now it's starting to look more and more like millennials were some weird anomaly generation that looks quite a bit younger than their actual ages. (Who knows why?) A lot of the men just probably think you're hot and look good and arent even aware of your age, arent trying to date older but you look good (you might even look younger than women their age, if Tiktok is any indication!)

The only place I really see a lot of Gen Z women is church, and my impression is that they just don’t seem to care a ton about their looks. They are not worrying that much about their hair, makeup, flattering clothes, nails, none of it. A higher proportion of them also appear to be overweight. Even my husband has noticed it, which means it’s REALLY noticeable. The millennial women are all putting in a much bigger effort and I don’t know if we look younger, but if you make an effort to look your best, you tend to look attractive.

I dont think it's that... (I actually like how Gen Z dresses and the way theyre presenting themselves). It's specifically about the way each generation is aging, particularly in the face. There's a ton of discussion about it online, even Vogue of all places covered it https://www.vogue.com/article/why-do-millennials-seem-younger-than-they-are https://www.indy100.com/tiktok/tiktok-gen-z-ageing-millennials

[Anonymous]

I think there have always been men who are drawn to older women, but they felt it was taboo or embarrassing. Now it’s more out in the open and more accepted, which makes it more noticeable and also more common.

I’ve dated some younger men in the past several years (as much as 15 years younger) and none of them has gone on to date younger. They just seem to prefer older women.

[Anonymous]

Older women tend to have bigger boobs.

[Anonymous]

Man here. People are way overthinking. It's not about money, it's about availability.

A woman in her 20s is getting absolutely bombarded on online dating site, by men aged 20-50. Your average male in his 20s has little chance of someone that age writing back unless he's the top of the top. She has too many choices.

So instead men move up in age range, and women are getting fewer (but still plenty) of messages. Higher chance she'll write back. And indeed she may be more open to get down to business as she's busy and time is limited, but that's a secondary bonus.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Man here. People are way overthinking. It's not about money, it's about availability.

A woman in her 20s is getting absolutely bombarded on online dating site, by men aged 20-50. Your average male in his 20s has little chance of someone that age writing back unless he's the top of the top. She has too many choices.

So instead men move up in age range, and women are getting fewer (but still plenty) of messages. Higher chance she'll write back. And indeed she may be more open to get down to business as she's busy and time is limited, but that's a secondary bonus.

I'm also sure they know that women in their 30s that are willing to sleep with them most likely have zero interest in dating them, and that's a plus for guys who aren't looking for anything serious. Much less complicated than someone younger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think there have always been men who are drawn to older women, but they felt it was taboo or embarrassing. Now it’s more out in the open and more accepted, which makes it more noticeable and also more common.

I’ve dated some younger men in the past several years (as much as 15 years younger) and none of them has gone on to date younger. They just seem to prefer older women.

100%. Now it's a bit of a badge of honor. "Dude, you got a MILF?" Reminds me of the rapper Yung Gravy, who has openly spoken about how he loves to date older women (he dated Addison Rae's mom). He's tall (6'6), blonde, blue eyed, handsome, and famous mainly with Gen Z, but he deliberately goes after older women. Harry Styles is another one who has almost exclusively dated older women despite being able to land whatever young woman he wanted. I think for a certain type of young guy it's also seen as more of a challenge? Because older women are a bit more demanding and know what they want, so if you're 25 and can keep a 35 year old interested, you must be doing something right...

[Anonymous]

After I got divorced at 42 I almost always dated older women usually 45-55. They were empty nesters, generally financially stable and not interested in marriage. I think they enjoyed having a younger companion for a bunch of reasons. Now at 60 that’s still the ideal range for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Easy, low stakes sex.

Women in their mid to late 30s - especially a busy divorced mom - just want to have a nice date + have sex in their rare spare time. That woman has been sexually active for 15-20 years of her life and thus has seen & done it all.

Women in their mid to late 30s, even if they want to have a child, don’t want to get impregnated by a man in his 20s. So she’s keen to see the relationship as short term in nature and not putting any serious significance upon the relationship. That’s great for a guy in his 20s who wants to have fun and still get laid.

So yes, they are respectful gentlemen because their mama’s trained them well. But they are clued-in enough know that a woman in her late 30s likely wants something that is low stakes and casual and these men are happy to oblige. Their peer women expect serious relationships after sex and are very marriage and “next step” focused.

Yes, I think this is all true. None of my divorced mom friends are interested in getting remarried or merging households, they don’t want more kids, and they just generally don’t have time or energy for the exhausting task of going on a ton of dates trying to meet a good candidate for a serious relationship. But that doesn’t mean they don’t have physical needs! And as previously mentioned, men in their 20s are full of energy and ready to meet those needs pretty much any time. Seems like a win-win

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Low hanging fruit.

+1. Especially if the woman is never married and has no children.

And older women generally have good jobs (AKA more money), a home of their own, food in the house, are more sexually confident etc etc etc compared to early 20s women. They are basically male sugar babies, providing the BF experience.

Definitely not the same as a sugar baby/sugar daddy. The number of women in their 30s who are willing to bankroll 20 something men is pretty low. That dynamic pretty much flows in one direction only...

You are nuts. Women flush with cash are very much willing to bankroll the hot men they are sleeping with, it just doesn’t look like “funding a lifestyle”. But they will buy gifts, pay for concerts and trips, and permit many other forms of mooching and top it off with the cherry of easy sex at the end of the night. How could a 22 year old man possibly afford to take a 35 year old woman on a date at the level she is accustom to?

Him not taking her on a fancy date ≠ her bankrolling him. Very few women are going to give allowances to men no what his age, and most women in America still expect men to pay for dates and other things. But there are broke/cheap men in every age group.

I'm a woman and when in exclusive relationship I do alternate paying for dates, even if a man is making same or more than myself and older than me. This is just what a decent person would do. Don't see it as "bankrolling". If approach is alternating/splitting paying, I would rather be with a younger man

[Anonymous]

I have a few divorced friends in their late 30s who have FWB relationships with younger men. They don’t have the time or motivation to seek out a LTR but they like to have fun and sex. These are definitely no strings attached relationships and if both parties are getting what they want they both win. Being under a nice hard body sounds pretty attractive!

[Anonymous]

No strings attached. It’s that simple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a phenomenon I've noticed myself as I'm in my mid-late 30s and my friends have as well. I recently got back into dating after a LTR ended and my inbox is flooded with requests from men in their early 20s especially (sometimes mid-late 20s as well). They are overwhelmingly the ones who pursue me and theyre very aggressive. I thought maybe they were just into sex but I agreed to go on dates with two separate ones and both times they took me out to nice restaurants, were very gentlemanly, paid the bill, etc, and seemed very relationship oriented.

I guess I'm wondering... what's going on? Is it just me and my friend group? Have men in their 20s always wanted older women or is this a new phenomenon? Every time I get a message request on the dating app I think to myself "I bet he's 22" and voila! He is. Why is this happening?

They’ve all heard about dirty 30.
Enjoy it while it lasts

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A lot of guys are into older women, and always have been. The MILF category, which has become shorthand for "women above 30", fluctuates in popularity from #2 in the world to $6. Plenty of guys are attracted to women in their 30s, 40s, and even 50s. There's a reason "The Graduate" was a huge hit back in the 60s.

Popularity in what?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of guys are into older women, and always have been. The MILF category, which has become shorthand for "women above 30", fluctuates in popularity from #2 in the world to $6. Plenty of guys are attracted to women in their 30s, 40s, and even 50s. There's a reason "The Graduate" was a huge hit back in the 60s.

Popularity in what?

I think he is talking about pornography. The “MILF” category is popular in pornography. When I catch DH’s porn it is always MILFs or “mature.”

[Anonymous]

Went on OLD at 40. Got lots of requests from the young men so raised my minimum from 30 to 32... 29 year olds were asking if I'd make an exception! I hooked up with one 32 year old and asked how high he went. He said he didn't remember exactly, but raised it because "what if there's someone amazing?" He was just looking for a casual relationship. For a casual relationship, men don't care as long as the woman looks good. And a good looking 40 year old is much better than an average 20-something who is "too needy" (one of his complaints about someone he'd matched with, we were comparing experiences as OLD first-timers).