I get so paranoid about not getting Christmas party invites

[Anonymous]

So you got invited to parties but not the parties you wanted to be invited to? Not for nothing, but maybe they could sense your desperation. That's always a turn-off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sigh.

For the umpteenth time, it is HOLIDAY PARTY !!!!!

If OP attends a private religious school, then they may well be Christmas parties.

[Anonymous]

I used to think I liked holiday parties or invites but the. Realized I don’t like small talking. We usually attend DH’s work party and I’m so relieved we aren’t this year because it’s me standing around talking to other people I don’t know well and don’t find interesting or funny. I end up drinking to loosen up and then feel self conscious about appearing tipsy so the whole thing is uncomfortable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sigh.

For the umpteenth time, it is HOLIDAY PARTY !!!!!

If OP attends a private religious school, then they may well be Christmas parties.

If the host says its a Christmas party, then it is. Regardless of the religion of any particular invitee. I'm a Christian who was invited to (and attended) a Diwali party. I assure you I was not offended in the least, in fact I was honored.

[Anonymous]

I think if you host things - you'll be more likely to get invites too. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We’ve never been invited to any sort of adult holiday party in the decade that we’ve lived in our current town. I used to live in NYC so I assumed that the culture where I live now is just different and more kid-centric.

Until this year: we are invited to a party this weekend and based on the run-up to it and the RSVPs I’m realizing that there is an entire adult party social scene that we’ve never been a part of that’s been happening all along. I feel silly and embarrassed! I think we’ve been seen as the kind of people that others are happy to accept daytime/family socializing invites from but we’ve never made the adult socializing/a-list cut.

This is confusing to me. Do you host adult only parties? If you don't, then that's why you're missing the invites! "Everyone" is not doing things behind your back. They are just living their lives. But if you have never attempted to socialize without you children in tow, OF COURSE people think you don't want to do that. I see friends with our entire family, I see friends alone, I see them with just my DH etc. But the vast majority of our friends don't have live in help with their young children, so adult socializing looks different. As our kids get older, we do it more and more.

[Anonymous]

We have been invited to two big parties. We will be throwing one party in January to reciprocate. I am already tired thinking about it, but, the one way to get invited is to host and reciprocate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sigh.

For the umpteenth time, it is HOLIDAY PARTY !!!!!

We received an invite to a Hannukah Party.

This Goy is not offended.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We’ve never been invited to any sort of adult holiday party in the decade that we’ve lived in our current town. I used to live in NYC so I assumed that the culture where I live now is just different and more kid-centric.

Until this year: we are invited to a party this weekend and based on the run-up to it and the RSVPs I’m realizing that there is an entire adult party social scene that we’ve never been a part of that’s been happening all along. I feel silly and embarrassed! I think we’ve been seen as the kind of people that others are happy to accept daytime/family socializing invites from but we’ve never made the adult socializing/a-list cut.

This is confusing to me. Do you host adult only parties? If you don't, then that's why you're missing the invites! "Everyone" is not doing things behind your back. They are just living their lives. But if you have never attempted to socialize without you children in tow, OF COURSE people think you don't want to do that. I see friends with our entire family, I see friends alone, I see them with just my DH etc. But the vast majority of our friends don't have live in help with their young children, so adult socializing looks different. As our kids get older, we do it more and more.

We’ve never hosted adult-only parties. Our house doesn’t have a separate quiet space where our child could go during a party and we are the only ones in our group who do not have one of the following: au pair, grandparents living at home, local family nearby, or large house for entertaining so kids can be stashed away. When we socialize with just adults, we get a babysitter at home for our child and we go out to drinks, treat friends to dinner at a restaurant or treat them to a hockey game or arts tickets. I think that the 1:1 socializing we have been able to do might have excluded us from bigger group stuff.

If that’s what the problem has been, it’s pretty shabby to say we’ll accept invitations from you but will only offer invitations if you reciprocate in exactly the same way.

[Anonymous]

I have a friend who hosts one every year in early December and it’s fun but that’s it besides work parties. For work / industry holiday parties I’ve been invited to 4 and will attend 2. One of them l actually enjoy as I’ve been in my industry for a long time and like to catch up with many who attend.

I was invited to a cookie exchange years ago but have lost touch with that group. I would probably go to one if invited!

[Anonymous]

I have never gotten invited to a non relative Christmas party …

[Anonymous]

I'm so relieved when I *don't* get an invite to a Christmas party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have never gotten invited to a non relative Christmas party …

Me neither. I didn't know people had them.

[Anonymous]

Sorry OP. The snotty women here in the DMV like excluding people and making sure you know about it. They don’t care if the kids suffer

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sigh.

For the umpteenth time, it is HOLIDAY PARTY !!!!!

But what if it's not a holiday party?

We throw one. We call it a Christmas party. We serve Eggnog, Glühwein and other Christmas drinks. We have Christmas cookies for the kids. And when the kids were little, there were Christmas gifts under a Christmas tree.

We do all those things because its a Christmas party during the Christmas season.