I get so paranoid about not getting Christmas party invites

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you pen diplomatically on such invites to “keep this between us” so that those you don’t invite in your social circle/community orbit find out? Ideas?

Use Evite and don’t hide the guest list.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think I've been invited to one as an adult (other than for work) and I didn't even realize it until this post. The holiday season is so busy already.

+1. I did not know it was a thing. oops

[Anonymous]

Some years we throw a party and every year we go to DH’s company party. Otherwise no parties.

[Anonymous]

Joining a school in middle/high school isn’t really the time that parents meet one another for socializing, is it? That usually happens in early elementary. We go to 2 parties In the neighborhood and a huge party for DHs company. That’s it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Joining a school in middle/high school isn’t really the time that parents meet one another for socializing, is it? That usually happens in early elementary. We go to 2 parties In the neighborhood and a huge party for DHs company. That’s it.

This. We go to one holiday party as a couple and then I go to a cookie exchange party, both hosted by friends I met when our boys were in kindergarten. I think most of the attendees are people I've known since our kids were in elementary school + the hosts' friends/neighbors from outside the kid-initiated relationships.

It's just a lot harder to meet more parents when the kids are older, unless they are in an activity that has a lot of parent engagement. I did become friendly with some more parents when DD was in high school because she did marching band and I joined the parent board for that, running a big fundraiser.

[Anonymous]

Two years of Covid pretty much killed many holiday parties and they haven’t been restarted to any great extent. We use to have an annual party but we haven’t revived it. Crowded indoor winter parties are not high on my list given that Covid is still around. We always travel at Christmas and I’d hate to cancel our trip because I got sick. I’m not Covid crazy but I do think about it. I was suppose to have lunch tomorrow with a good friend who just cancelled because she got Covid.

[Anonymous]

AFAIK our neighborhood doesn’t have Christmas parties. I think this is a rich person thing. Not a “2 working parents just trying to survive the end of the year” thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:AFAIK our neighborhood doesn’t have Christmas parties. I think this is a rich person thing. Not a “2 working parents just trying to survive the end of the year” thing.

+1 and I have been to some of the rich person holiday parties because my best friend from law school is a partner at an AmLaw 50 and his wife is an "entertainer" and I have another friend I met through work who is in this category as well. So every year we get invited to their holiday parties out in their rich person suburbs. We used to go but they were paaaaaaaainful so we started making excuses. Mostly just people showing off for each other plus some rich person networking. They are not fun and in both cases the parties are primarily thrown to engender goodwill among their colleagues, clients, and neighbors. Since we are none of those things but actual friends who like them even if we aren't awed by their landscaping and catering or designer clothes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think I've been invited to one as an adult (other than for work) and I didn't even realize it until this post. The holiday season is so busy already.

+1. I did not know it was a thing. oops

+1

I would rather be at home in my PJs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think I've been invited to one as an adult (other than for work) and I didn't even realize it until this post. The holiday season is so busy already.

+1. I did not know it was a thing. oops

+2. Who has time to go to holiday parties in addition to the school and work events that happen this time of year?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm generally a level-headed person but I get so bummed around Christmas by what I see as a lack of party invites.
We're invited to a few but none from our kids' schools which are pretty social communities. I just got a text from a friend that said "see you at so-and-so's party and/or another one this holiday season!" and I thought,
'huh, we're not invited to that party or any others." We're pretty new to the schools (joined in middle school 4 years ago and high school 2 years ago) and I do know a few families really well but clearly we're not in the epicenter
of things.

We do have a college friends event and some family things but I always assume that everyone is going to big friend bashes. It's like my kryptonite of "feel bad about myself" that only comes out at the holidays.
I realize that being invited to things is mostly about the luck-of-the-draw of having friends who happen to throw them. And our friends are not them and I'm not that person either. So here we are. I'll feel better about this in a few weeks.

See a therapist you need help.

Ridiculous and juvenile

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you pen diplomatically on such invites to “keep this between us” so that those you don’t invite in your social circle/community orbit find out? Ideas?

Use Evite and don’t hide the guest list.

+1 but also mention freely that if we inadvertently left anyone else please forward. Our parties are all big open house affairs with huge evite lists and I would welcome anyone to come that I left out by accident to just come. We have caterers and bartenders and truly feel that more is better.

For a close-knit dinner party (we get invited to a lot of those precisely because of our inclusive open houses), it is typically an EMAIL with just the explicit instructions and very obviously intimate. This is where we ask what to bring, etc. etc.

[Anonymous]

I have felt the same way, OP. Not at Christmas necessarily but around the 4th of July. It stings but I do think it's important to remember that many of these guest lists were established early on and hosts just don't think to add new people. I would try to set up something at your place or organize an outing with one or two other families, maybe game night, a light display and pizza or something.

[Anonymous]

OP, you sound like you are in HS. Did you have the same issues then?

[Anonymous]

When you get to a certain age, I’m 66, the idea of being on your feet for three hours at a holiday party becomes less inviting. I loved it at 36.