Reply to I get so paranoid about not getting Christmas party invites

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We’ve never been invited to any sort of adult holiday party in the decade that we’ve lived in our current town. I used to live in NYC so I assumed that the culture where I live now is just different and more kid-centric.

Until this year: we are invited to a party this weekend and based on the run-up to it and the RSVPs I’m realizing that there is an entire adult party social scene that we’ve never been a part of that’s been happening all along. I feel silly and embarrassed! I think we’ve been seen as the kind of people that others are happy to accept daytime/family socializing invites from but we’ve never made the adult socializing/a-list cut. [/quote]

This is confusing to me.  Do you host adult only parties?  If you don't, then that's why you're missing the invites!  "Everyone" is not doing things behind your back.  They are just living their lives.  But if you have never attempted to socialize without you children in tow, OF COURSE people think you don't want to do that.  I see friends with our entire family, I see friends alone, I see them with just my DH etc.  But the vast majority of our friends don't have live in help with their young children, so adult socializing looks different.  As our kids get older, we do it more and more.[/quote]

We’ve never hosted adult-only parties. Our house doesn’t have a separate quiet space where our child could go during a party and we are the only ones in our group who do not have one of the following: au pair, grandparents living at home, local family nearby, or large house for entertaining so kids can be stashed away. When we socialize with just adults, we get a babysitter at home for our child and we go out to drinks, treat friends to dinner at a restaurant or treat them to a hockey game or arts tickets. I think that the 1:1 socializing we have been able to do might have excluded us from bigger group stuff.

If that’s what the problem has been, it’s pretty shabby to say we’ll accept invitations from you but will only offer invitations if you reciprocate in exactly the same way. [/quote]

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