As a woman what have you learned about men?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men want someone attractive (subjectively to them, however that looks), kind, can hold a conversation beyond reality tv, has a degree, doesn’t insult them and likes sex a lot.

Really it’s that simple. Be nice. Be more easy going. Don’t nag and harangue too much. And just bone.

I’m probably getting divorced soon, so don’t listen to me, but as a man, that’s my advice.

I believe the above. But the question was what have you learned about men, not how to get or keep one.

If you want my honest opinion, men are more emotionally consistent than women. For example, I don’t just wake up and spit out rude comments, because something internally is bothering me, but instead of saying it in a straightforward way, women will express anger through passive aggressive gestures and harsh words. It’s catty. It’s insane.

Men are more quick to move forward and not hold long term grudges. We don’t bring things up from 10 years ago in argument. We let the past go more easily.

Women are better at forming consensus and can just sort of listen and agree with each other. Whereas men, try to drive home a point in their conversations. It’s more of a jokeying for the upper hand when we communicate.

Women make better CEOs most probably. They are more meticulous. However, they can be rude to their female counterparts and subordinates at work because women have a natural competitiveness with each other.

Men cannot stand their character being disrespected.

We’d rather reach a concrete resolution to an issue rather than hold a listening session. We don’t need to vent as much. We simply are not inately programmed with a need to verbalize our emotions as much.

We express connection and love through sex. What else is the most base form of expressing love? It’s sex. Also, it feels good. Why not do it all the time? We basically jerk off all the time anyway.

Men don’t need to dates or you take us out to dinner. Who fking cares? We live with you. We see you everyday. Why not just bang as a gift or treat? We enjoy plays and movies, but we aren’t butt hurt if you don’t set up a time every week to do some activity. Especially once we are married. I mean do you know how much a fking nanny costs? School? Sports for the kids? Why don’t we just watch a Netflix movie and then bang and go to bed at 10pm???? It’s that simple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men want someone attractive (subjectively to them, however that looks), kind, can hold a conversation beyond reality tv, has a degree, doesn’t insult them and likes sex a lot.

Really it’s that simple. Be nice. Be more easy going. Don’t nag and harangue too much. And just bone.

I’m probably getting divorced soon, so don’t listen to me, but as a man, that’s my advice.

I believe the above. But the question was what have you learned about men, not how to get or keep one.

Realizing that 98% of what men care about when choosing a spouse/ romantic partner is looks is something that I wish I would have learned earlier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They have contempt for pretty much all women.

No, but I think they fear women and that's why they need to control/dominate women - to be safe. It's almost a universal man thing.

This makes sense as kids are mistly managed by women, moms, grandmoms, nannies, babysitters and 99% teachers at daycare, preschool and schools are women as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men want someone attractive (subjectively to them, however that looks), kind, can hold a conversation beyond reality tv, has a degree, doesn’t insult them and likes sex a lot.

Really it’s that simple. Be nice. Be more easy going. Don’t nag and harangue too much. And just bone.

I’m probably getting divorced soon, so don’t listen to me, but as a man, that’s my advice.

You don't say?

What is wrong with what he said?

Read between the lines, - be nice, easy going, don't nag or harangue me - hahaha, just shut up about what you need and bone me. Seems confused about divorce.

Actually, he was pretty explicit. You don't need to read between the lines at all.

What do you want in a man? Someone who isn't nice, who nags and complains all the time and never wants to have sex with you. There is nothing wrong with what he said.

If his wife was angry, complaining and nagging him, he needs to take note, understand the problems and do what he needs to do, not just wish for a non complaining wife. Listen to your wife! or get divorced.

[Anonymous]

I think the first thing is to know your own self worth. Without that foundation (self respect, confidence), a young woman can be easily swayed by the flattering attention of men who are not so great as long term partners.

The men from your family and early life will cast a long shadow. I knew that my dad was even tempered and kind, a good dad to us and a good man overall. I also knew that I should not marry someone like him b/c he was a thoughtless husband who could/would not do chores.

I read romance novels in my teenage and early adult years and had this idealized vision of what a man should be. That ideal really led me astray. Talk to your daughter about what she thinks is attractive and why.

What I've learned since my 20s is that there are plenty of good men, many who will not appear to be conventionally good looking at first but will become irresistibly attractive once you get to know them. They are emotionally secure, intelligent, hard working, have a good sense of humor, believe in gender equality, and fun. A lot of my colleagues and all my friends are like this. They're good husbands who cook, clean, and wrangle the kids. They're good company and good human.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men want someone attractive (subjectively to them, however that looks), kind, can hold a conversation beyond reality tv, has a degree, doesn’t insult them and likes sex a lot.

Really it’s that simple. Be nice. Be more easy going. Don’t nag and harangue too much. And just bone.

I’m probably getting divorced soon, so don’t listen to me, but as a man, that’s my advice.

You don't say?

What is wrong with what he said?

Read between the lines, - be nice, easy going, don't nag or harangue me - hahaha, just shut up about what you need and bone me. Seems confused about divorce.

Actually, he was pretty explicit. You don't need to read between the lines at all.

What do you want in a man? Someone who isn't nice, who nags and complains all the time and never wants to have sex with you. There is nothing wrong with what he said.

If his wife was angry, complaining and nagging him, he needs to take note, understand the problems and do what he needs to do, not just wish for a non complaining wife. Listen to your wife! or get divorced.

I love how you just moved the goal posts. The question was "what have you learned about men." Not "what can a man do to make himself more desirable to his wife." Maybe start a new thread if you want to ask that question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men want someone attractive (subjectively to them, however that looks), kind, can hold a conversation beyond reality tv, has a degree, doesn’t insult them and likes sex a lot.

Really it’s that simple. Be nice. Be more easy going. Don’t nag and harangue too much. And just bone.

I’m probably getting divorced soon, so don’t listen to me, but as a man, that’s my advice.

I believe the above. But the question was what have you learned about men, not how to get or keep one.

Realizing that 98% of what men care about when choosing a spouse/ romantic partner is looks is something that I wish I would have learned earlier.

Its not a secret. Unfortunately, majority of men focus on looks and majority of women focus on money even though every study discovers that if you want a successful and long term marriage then you need to focus on compatibility, temperament and core character.

Compatibility doesn't only mean same values or same taste but also similar finances and looks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can meet a really great guy with no red flags and after you have children he could become the worst father/partner you could ever imagine.

“Red flags” and is a bull sh!t term invented to blame women for men’s failures.

If you marry be prepared for it to all fall apart. They might become sick, or mentally ill or just not be up for the task. That is not your fault. No there was no magic formula you should have know when picking or some underlying signs you should have Sussed out.

Be the best person you can be and hopefully you partner will be too but if they aren’t still be the best person you can be.

True.

They need a simple life and not a lot of stuff.

More stuff equals bigger mess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

If you want my honest opinion, men are more emotionally consistent than women. For example, I don’t just wake up and spit out rude comments, because something internally is bothering me, but instead of saying it in a straightforward way, women will express anger through passive aggressive gestures and harsh words. It’s catty. It’s insane.

Men cannot stand their character being disrespected.

Yeah, men yelling or punching or throwing things to express their anger is so much better than the passive aggressiveness from women. Obviously people prefer being yelled at or punched over a snide comment any day. /sarcasm And how do men react when their character gets disrespected?

Anonymous wrote:
Whereas men, try to drive home a point in their conversations. It’s more of a jokeying for the upper hand when we communicate.

Women make better CEOs most probably. They are more meticulous. However, they can be rude to their female counterparts and subordinates at work because women have a natural competitiveness with each other.

You've contradicted yourself. It sounds like men are actually the competitive gender if they're jockeying for the upper hand in every conversation. Again, what do they do when their character gets disrespected?

[Anonymous]

They mainly focus on their external image, ego and accomplishments. Very few put any thought into actively helping their kids, spouse or home do well.
A pat on the head is not teaching them math or how to throw or building confidence in a new skill.

[Anonymous]

The most important thing to know about men is - the apple rarely falls far from the tree. Like father, like son- and exceptions to that are rare. When getting serious with a man, always take a very careful look at his dad (temperament, lifestyle and habits, personality traits, emotional IQ etc). He may seem very different from his dad at age 25, but that probably won’t be the case at 45.

Also- men who have bad relationships with their fathers are are almost always emotionally messed up.

So my advice to a daughter would be: look at the guy’s dad, and his relationship with his dad.

[Anonymous]

It won't matter to you if a man can cook or clean or not, if you yourself are capable to manage your household and have money to hire helpers to cook and clean.

What you need from a good partner is thoughtfulness to try to help when needed. Otherwise, your focus should be on more important traits like character, temperament, life philosophies, loyalty etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The most important thing to know about men is - the apple rarely falls far from the tree. Like father, like son- and exceptions to that are rare. When getting serious with a man, always take a very careful look at his dad (temperament, lifestyle and habits, personality traits, emotional IQ etc). He may seem very different from his dad at age 25, but that probably won’t be the case at 45.

Also- men who have bad relationships with their fathers are are almost always emotionally messed up.

So my advice to a daughter would be: look at the guy’s dad, and his relationship with his dad.

Same with a woman. Look at the mother. Is she narcissistic? Neurotic? Controlling?

Those behaviors trickles down. Women are inherently more neurotic than men, but please meet the parents.

[Anonymous]

Men are just as capable as women of managing complex schedules, taking an active role in their kids’ activities, planning parties, and entertaining guests. Men are capable of noticing when things need to be cleaned, repaired, or replaced. Men who use weaponized incompetence or sexist tropes to get out of maintaining a home and parenting are lazy jerks. There are plenty of men who are capable and willing equal partners, don’t settle for a slob. When you find a decent guy, treat him like a partner. Don’t nag and micromanage him like a child.

Men who react to negative emotions like failure or shame by lashing out and being defensive are dangerous. If a man gives you the silent treatment or screams at you because you were right about something or ask him to do something differently, walk away. If he punches walls or gets angry over things like his sports team losing, walk away. That is not an emotionally mature or stable person.

[Anonymous]

Imho women put too much emphasis on men's ability to earn, cook, clean and do chores.