Men, how much attention do you put on a woman's job, house, or car when you date her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As far as food, laundry, house and car goes, she should be able to afford home cooked meals, house cleaners, laundry service and car detailing, doesn't have to cook and clean herself, just being able to manage is good enough. Being kind, fun, educated and employed is more important to have a balanced life.

Laundry service?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wondering. I have a clunker right now and I live with my mother to help her out after my narcissist dad left for a younger but less attractive woman. I've also just been laid off. I'd like a relationship but not even sure I'm dateable right now.

too busy trying to sneak a peek at your cleavage and how good a shape you are in in the legs and butts. priorities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I call BS on these responses from men.

No man with a decent life plan is fine being with a woman who is unemployed living at home with a crappy car in 2023. Those things don't just happen in a bubble, but reflect bigger things going on in the OP's life. There are men who are okay with, or may even prefer, lower income women (teachers, etc). But the idea being that they want a motivated, decently educated woman who has demonstrated some level of commitment to something (school, job), so that once kids come along, she'll stay home and shift that ethic to running the house.

DH had a college friend who got engaged to someone like OP describes. She had blond hair and fake breasts, a beater car, and lived with her parents without any sort of consistent job. All the men in DH's college circle were talking behind the guy's back wondering what the hell he was doing with such a dumpster fire. And these were guys who at the time (and 20 years later) were very cool with the idea of a sahm.

The guys responding on here that not having a job is fine are full of it, and are just used to being the "counterpoint" to dcum women who are very pro-education, pro-career. But I promise you they don't want to date an semi-permanently unemployed, career-less woman living at home with as much baggage as your OP indicates.

How stupid of you, then. You'll have to stretch those two neurons of yours to grasp the fact that there are many socio-economic levels in this area and that if OP is reasonably attractive, she will be able to date. Maybe not the men in YOUR rarified circle, but normal men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wondering. I have a clunker right now and I live with my mother to help her out after my narcissist dad left for a younger but less attractive woman. I've also just been laid off. I'd like a relationship but not even sure I'm dateable right now.

Zero. How hot are you, how fit are you, are you crazy...that is what is important to wealthy men.

Codependent mother and unable to hold down a job are both correlated with “crazy”

Op here. No where did I say I wasn't able to hold down a job. I was at my previous job for 5 yrs before many of us were laid off. I am actively seeking work in a similar field.

[Anonymous]

Man here. Need woman to at least have a job or a very good excuse. Otherwise it is weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a guy, I don’t put as much emphasis on those things. However, flip the script and ask a woman the same question about a guy. A guy with a shiatbox car, studio apartment, and non profit job or something blue collar will get him nowhere with women in this region.[/quot
Such guy usually comes with shitload of other problems. I'm dating a guy who works at an autobody shop. Recent immigrant and even he has been able to work himself up in 6 years.
I have never met an American born who works hard, but still has to drive a shitbox car, live in a studio, be it a blue collar job. The reason they are not hacking it, is that they are not working hard enough. That's a turn off.
I'm an immigrant and worked myself into riches with fairly minimum pay. I will never know why locals can't do that unless they have bad health.

Google “selective migration thesis.” People who immigrate tend to be motivated and hard working. Lazy people are unlikely to decide to haul all the way to another country and work at a sh*t job (or go thru the challenge of adapting to a foreign white culture environment).

I’m sure there are plenty of lazy people in your home country too. Those are the ones who aren’t immigrating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Man here. Need woman to at least have a job or a very good excuse. Otherwise it is weird.

What if she is independently wealthy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man here. Need woman to at least have a job or a very good excuse. Otherwise it is weird.

What if she is independently wealthy?

That is a very good excuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man here. Need woman to at least have a job or a very good excuse. Otherwise it is weird.

What if she is independently wealthy?

That is a very good excuse.

Yes it is but inherited wealth is different than wealth you actually earned. The latter means you have some intellect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man here. Need woman to at least have a job or a very good excuse. Otherwise it is weird.

What if she is independently wealthy?

That is a very good excuse.

Yes it is but inherited wealth is different than wealth you actually earned. The latter means you have some intellect.

But the former means she can be a SAHM and still self-support.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man here. Need woman to at least have a job or a very good excuse. Otherwise it is weird.

What if she is independently wealthy?

That is a very good excuse.

Yes it is but inherited wealth is different than wealth you actually earned. The latter means you have some intellect.

But the former means she can be a SAHM and still self-support.

So you'd be entirely dependent on her parents money? Inherited money doesn't last forever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I call BS on these responses from men.

No man with a decent life plan is fine being with a woman who is unemployed living at home with a crappy car in 2023. Those things don't just happen in a bubble, but reflect bigger things going on in the OP's life. There are men who are okay with, or may even prefer, lower income women (teachers, etc). But the idea being that they want a motivated, decently educated woman who has demonstrated some level of commitment to something (school, job), so that once kids come along, she'll stay home and shift that ethic to running the house.

DH had a college friend who got engaged to someone like OP describes. She had blond hair and fake breasts, a beater car, and lived with her parents without any sort of consistent job. All the men in DH's college circle were talking behind the guy's back wondering what the hell he was doing with such a dumpster fire. And these were guys who at the time (and 20 years later) were very cool with the idea of a sahm.

The guys responding on here that not having a job is fine are full of it, and are just used to being the "counterpoint" to dcum women who are very pro-education, pro-career. But I promise you they don't want to date an semi-permanently unemployed, career-less woman living at home with as much baggage as your OP indicates.

How stupid of you, then. You'll have to stretch those two neurons of yours to grasp the fact that there are many socio-economic levels in this area and that if OP is reasonably attractive, she will be able to date. Maybe not the men in YOUR rarified circle, but normal men.

Sure they’ll date a screwup but they won’t marry her.

[Anonymous]

I’m so glad I met my husband in college. I can’t imagine being judged on these things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man here. Need woman to at least have a job or a very good excuse. Otherwise it is weird.

What if she is independently wealthy?

That is a very good excuse.

Yes it is but inherited wealth is different than wealth you actually earned. The latter means you have some intellect.

But the former means she can be a SAHM and still self-support.

Good way to lose it all. Smart independently wealthy women still work for current expenses and save the independent wealth for retirement and their legacy/children/generational wealth. They also try to marry money so that their wealth is preserved not dissipated on a man who can’t support a SAHM for his own children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m so glad I met my husband in college. I can’t imagine being judged on these things.

Wow. You can’t imagine being judged on the things literally everyone and every woman particularly, judges on—home, job, car, income?