I don’t think I’m a lesbian...

[Anonymous]

OP here with an update... we basically continued texting for a while and eventually I sort of playfully suggested we make out. She didn’t respond for like 5 days! Eventually responded that we should keep things professional. I felt mortified and confused! I told her I understood and will respect her boundaries. We stopped texting for about 6 weeks or so. We ran into each other one day and I felt so uncomfortable! We casually said hi and made small talk. I’m slowly trying to get her off my mind. I’m sad and confused... oh well....

[Anonymous]

What's your type, OP? Maybe we can text and I can take your mind off her? I'm in the same boat. I bet there are multiple women on this thread who'd be happy to make out with you.

[Anonymous]

OMG OP, I'm mortified for you, that's rough, but admire your bravery. As another late in life not fully straight lady, hope you find a new crush to take your kind off!

[Anonymous]

Ok stumbled upon this thread bc it’s the same exact situation for me to a tee and I’m trying to figure out if I can or should be brave enough to admit it to my crush. I’m so confused and overwhelmed

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi OP I just went through this last year and it really threw me for a loop. I realized I liked women and I spent a ton of time What Does This Mean etc etc.

It took me a while to come to my own conclusion which is—if I dated now I’d date men and women. I am not prone to crushes but they could happen with men and women.

Now in regards to my actual life, does it matter? Do I want to be with anyone except my specific husband? No. So the rest of it, the bi/lesbian part can sort of integrate with out being that relevant. I compare it to this—if I dated, I’d have a list of things that attracted me. One of them could be gender. One could be a shared love of sailing. Neither really matter bc I don’t want to date, I checked in with myself and perfect life as it is.

That all said, being 39 and realizing I’m queer/bi whatever threw me for a major loop. But you can feel that way and not be one of those late in life lesbians her blow up her life and marries a woman… unless that’s your thing! But there’s also a really fair choice of being out late and ALSO looks around and actually likes their life with a guy and so it’s fine and you just carry-on and have more self knowledge. That story is not as fun to tell, but I think very relevant.

OP here… To the new poster that says she’s in the same boat. See the post above in quotes… I think in the end I’ve decided I am happy and content with my life as is… There are moments when I feel sad because of a feeling of “what if..” and a longing for wanting to experience something with her (my crush)… but it’s pointless… I don’t want to blow up my family and life. It’s hard to come to this conclusion… and it’s taking me time…

If I dated again, I’d definitely be bi (or maybe just prefer women)… just FYI- I did meet another woman recently and we flirted for a while and it fizzled out (nothing more than drinks)… but it wasn’t fun and made me realize dating just sucks!! I thought of my crush the whole time!!

I’m actually okay with where I’m at at this point in my life…

Just something to think about! I know it’s hard… I’m still sort of dealing with it all…

[Anonymous]

It sounds like you were willing to cheat on your husband, with both your crush and this new woman you had drinks with (if it had worked out). That’s not fair to your husband (or did I miss where he said it was okay?). Infidelity is infidelity, even with a same-sex partner.

I guess I’m not understanding the cheerleading on this thread. You might feel more connected to your husband if you shared your feelings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like you were willing to cheat on your husband, with both your crush and this new woman you had drinks with (if it had worked out). That’s not fair to your husband (or did I miss where he said it was okay?). Infidelity is infidelity, even with a same-sex partner.

I guess I’m not understanding the cheerleading on this thread. You might feel more connected to your husband if you shared your feelings.

100% agree. Having been in your husband’s shoes, I agree your behavior is inappropriate and disrespectful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like you were willing to cheat on your husband, with both your crush and this new woman you had drinks with (if it had worked out). That’s not fair to your husband (or did I miss where he said it was okay?). Infidelity is infidelity, even with a same-sex partner.

I guess I’m not understanding the cheerleading on this thread. You might feel more connected to your husband if you shared your feelings.

100% agree. Having been in your husband’s shoes, I agree your behavior is inappropriate and disrespectful.

Same here. I was deeply offended when another "cis" woman waited until I was not around then told my DW she had feeling for her and wanted to hook up. DW brushed it off as no big deal because shes not bi, I said I didn't care it was still inappropriate for someone to do that to a married person regardless of their sex

[Anonymous]

You're probably not. I'm sure it is just a matter of girls being interested in other girls breast sizes. Younger women being more busty than their older friends and girlfriend's. Some girls growing boobs at earlier ages than others. That's everyone's interested. That's human nature.