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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Hi OP I just went through this last year and it really threw me for a loop. I realized I liked women and I spent a ton of time What Does This Mean etc etc.

It took me a while to come to my own conclusion which is—if I dated now I’d date men and women. I am not prone to crushes but they could happen with men and women.

Now in regards to my actual life, does it matter? Do I want to be with anyone except my specific husband? No. So the rest of it, the bi/lesbian part can sort of integrate with out being that relevant. I compare it to this—if I dated, I’d have a list of things that attracted me. One of them could be gender. One could be a shared love of sailing. Neither really matter bc I don’t want to date, I checked in with myself and perfect life as it is.

That all said, being 39 and realizing I’m queer/bi whatever threw me for a major loop. But you can feel that way and not be one of those late in life lesbians her blow up her life and marries a woman… unless that’s your thing! But there’s also a really fair choice of being out late and ALSO looks around and actually likes their life with a guy and so it’s fine and you just carry-on and have more self knowledge. That story is not as fun to tell, but I think very relevant.[/quote]

OP here… To the new poster that says she’s in the same boat.  See the post above in quotes… I think in the end I’ve decided I am happy and content with my life as is… There are moments when I feel sad because of a feeling of “what if..” and a longing for wanting to experience something with her (my crush)… but it’s pointless… I don’t want to blow up my family and life.  It’s hard to come to this conclusion… and it’s taking me time…

If I dated again, I’d definitely be bi (or maybe just prefer women)… just FYI- I did meet another woman recently and we flirted for a while and it fizzled out (nothing more than drinks)… but it wasn’t fun and made me realize dating just sucks!! I thought of my crush the whole time!!

I’m actually okay with where I’m at at this point in my life…

Just something to think about! I know it’s hard… I’m still sort of dealing with it all…[/quote]

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