Disliked By Most of the Mothers at DC's School

[Anonymous]

PP: Your post makes no sense at all! If a mother reaches out to you via phone what is the problem? I am sure any medium in which you choose to contact other mothers (phone, email, face to face) should have no bearing on whether that mom is mentally stable. Get a grip, PLEASE!!!!

[Anonymous]

Same here. I don't see what is wrong with a phone call. I think anyone who takes offense at an overture made with a phone call is overly sensitive and not someone with whom I would wish to be friends. I reaching out through a phone call would be a good way for me to to screen out people like the poster who said she wouldn't return such a call!

[Anonymous]

Yes, what is wrong with a phone call? Unless the message was annoying...phoning is a fine way to try to establish contact. It sure beats a tweet, facebook or linked in message. Email is ok for some people ... so maybe this person would have preferred that. Everyone is different.

[Anonymous]

No problem with a phone call, assuming the person actually connects and you have a conversation. The problem is with a tag-you're-it voicemail.

"I want to get to know you; please call me" is weird -- especially when the person leaving this sort of message is someone who sees you in person regularly.

If, for some reason, you can't start the conversation when you're both physically present (despite routine path crossing at school/home), then it's fine to call but wait until you get an answer and are talking to the person you want to get to know rather than a tape recorder.

[Anonymous]

Look, if you people have this much trouble arranging play dates its not the school that's holding your DD and DB back it's the obvious shallow nature of your genetic pool. Can anyone say neurotic?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look, if you people have this much trouble arranging play dates its not the school that's holding your DD and DB back it's the obvious shallow nature of your genetic pool. Can anyone say neurotic?

Actually, the only lack of depth in this thread is coming from the "I am so important and smarter than you" PP. Grow up, PP. The post began with a lack of connection with other moms-- NOT an absence of playdates in itself. Please go back to kindergarten and perhaps you can learn the fundamentals of reading.

[Anonymous]

Some of the posts are really mean. I feel badly for the OP...she's trying to be sincere and ask for advice about how maybe to make some friends. Why were people slammming her? I'm sure most people have had her experience.

[Anonymous]

PP, So do I. It feels as if she is being victimized twice.

[Anonymous]

Who cares about playdates? It really is silly given that the children are in school 5 days a week and socialize while there. Playdates for younger kids are merely a vehicle for a few mothers who need to be validated by others and their child as being worthy of playing together.

[Anonymous]

That is your view pp. Others like arranging play dates when their children are young to expose them to different sorts of kids. I never had/made the time to arrange them because my work schedule was crazy, but I certainly think they're a nice idea. After all, mothers can get lonely being moms and it's nice to meet/compare notes with others.

[Anonymous]

17:15, I think you are missing the mark. Playdates can help children make the transition from parallel to cooperative play. But if a child never has an opportunity to play alongside another child, how will he or she to play with another child? If that doesn't help you, then think about playdate interviews: are schools looking for kids who display an inclination to cooperate or ones who are knocking over other kids and refusing to share any toys?

[Anonymous]

I am certainly not against play dates per se, but my child goes out and plays with the kids in our neighborhood rather than attending pre-arranged "dates" with kids from his private school. He has friends at school and he has friends around his home ... I think it keeps him from living in too small and insular a world, plus it is much easier for me to manage, timewise.

[Anonymous]

As a mother of two HS kids I can say parents making the effort to get your kids together with school mates during non-school hours really matters. The parents who say “playing with neighborhood kids is enough”; “playing with relatives is enough”; “I’m too busy to accommodate this”; or think that reciprocal invitations aren’t necessary end up having kids who, over the years, are not included in their classmates plans (parties, shopping). Yes it’s an effort but it’s worth it. It amazes me the number of parents who are surprised that invitations aren’t coming for their MS or HS child after years of turning people away or not extending offers. I so glad I made the effort – I would be crushed if my DCs were excluded in their MS & HS years.

[Anonymous]

Doesn't really make sense given how classes expand over time. Most of the kids in HS weren't even at the LS, so it seems quite a stretch to claim that parents-who-didn't-do-playdates have left their MS/HS students friendless.

[Anonymous]

I have a high schooler and i don't see any relationship at all between younger playdates and my DC's current social situation. The friends she had when she was younger are not the friends she has now. And since at this point DC makes her own plans, why would it make any difference if I didn't extend offers when she was younger? Huh? But its nice that 9:30 is giving herself credit.