How do you get your tween to DO something?

[Anonymous]

I’d go for no screens. Just take it away. It’s not good for them anyway

[Anonymous]

I’m experiencing the same thing with my 7th grader who did a ton of activities when they were younger. We’ve hand better luck with low commitment activities like D&D at the game store or parkour that are reoccurring but you don’t need to sign up.

[Anonymous]

I tell my kids they have to do an activity but they can choose what it is.

[Anonymous]

Just sign him up for something you think he’d enjoy. Tell him he has to do it for one semester and if he doesn’t like it you’ll sign him up for something else the next semester. Eventually he’ll figure out he should pick his poison.

[Anonymous]

Agree with no activity = no screens that week.

Brainstorm a list of possibilities in these categories, realizing that there is some overlap.

Pick something for the body. Can be an organized sport or martial art, can be neighborhood walks with me, a regular day at the gym or community pool, pickup Frisbee or basketball, riding bikes with other kids, active Pokemon Go or geocaching. Need to follow up on the individual activities to make sure they're actually moving.

Pick something for community. Can be scouts, religious group, civic organizations, volunteering or job as dog walker, yard maintenance.

Pick something artistic or working with hands. Visual arts, dance, music, arts and crafts at home, carpentry, home or auto repair, glass blowing, theater,

Try at least two of the three every quarter, ideally one of each and ideally at least one that lasts year-round.

[Anonymous]

I think you can force him to try a class. If he doesn’t like it after that I don’t think you should force him to do all 12 weeks or whatever.
Limit screen use and tell him he needs to come up with something. Does your Church have outreach activities or do you only go an hour on Sundays? Our has a monthly food pantry, youth group, Sunday school etc. Can he do something there?

[Anonymous]

I’d be fine with skipping organized activities, but not if the alternative is hours of screen time every day. They can choose between activities or self-directed non-screen hobbies at home, or chores. But I would definitely implement limits on the video games.

We actually have the opposite problem, 13yo wants to do everything and is totally exhausted. We keep talking to him about narrowing things down, but he doesn’t want to give anything up. Grades are still good, so not pushing it too hard yet, but it’s painful to see him dragging so hard every morning. But kids have to learn how to balance their discretionary time. Overdoing anything - screens or anything else - isn’t healthy.

[Anonymous]

I feel you! I was in the exact situation with my DS until he got to high school. We tried everything and nothing stuck and he never found anything he enjoyed. Once he got to high school, he found a few things he liked, friends were part of it and it's been great seeing him enjoy an activity and not being "forced" to do it. So there is hope down the road.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you have an introvert. Does he have real world interests?

[Anonymous]

Does he do things with you or friends on the weekends? Baseball games? Football games? Movies? Museum? Festivals? If not I would start there this weekend go out as a family and do something. Go to the renaissance festival, college football game . Road trip and explore a town an hr away .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think that you limit the screens and insist on a family service activity somewhere. Also, some kind of exercise or outdoor thing weekly. I think you can go towards middle school with the rule that he must participate each quarter in some school activity. Just tell him now that is the expectation.

If he has reasonable grades and friends that he sees outside of school, he’s okay. If he’s only focused on screens, which you didn’t say, that’s another thing. He is also old enough to be doing regular chores and learning to cook and to repair things around the house. Those kinds of skills will increase self-esteem.

Sit him down and explain that he is becoming a young man and these outside experiences are part of growing up, and try to sound excited about it while being firm. Take him swimming or ice skating or on a hike, whether he wants to or not. He can bring a friend. It’s not so much about the classes as it is about getting out and trying things. You can also put some of the research on him for finding things to do within a budget. Lots of kids aren’t in organized activities, but are busy with other things.

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