How do you get your tween to DO something?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You give him the rec department flyer and tell him he has to choose something.

And if he doesn't?

[Anonymous]

I hope you realize that lots of kids don't do activities and have good childhoods. And those same kids grow up to be productive, responsible adults.

[Anonymous]

You're not answering the question of what else he is doing. If it's screens and video games and a phone, restrict that stuff heavily.

Some kids if given the choice to lay around on screens will never do anything else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're not answering the question of what else he is doing. If it's screens and video games and a phone, restrict that stuff heavily.

Some kids if given the choice to lay around on screens will never do anything else.

Yes, sorry, it's screens.

He's always been a straight-A student so we've let him get away with more than should, but with high school approaching, we know that's not sustainable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're not answering the question of what else he is doing. If it's screens and video games and a phone, restrict that stuff heavily.

Some kids if given the choice to lay around on screens will never do anything else.

Yes, sorry, it's screens.

He's always been a straight-A student so we've let him get away with more than should, but with high school approaching, we know that's not sustainable.

You need to smoke him out and it's not going to be fun for you. At all.

Take the screen time away really heavily during the week and less so on the weekends. He needs to find a way to fill his time and you give him options or he's certainly able to find his own options.

[Anonymous]

I told my DS that he HAS to go to the informational meeting, and if he doesn’t like it he doesn’t have to go. The same could be for sports, sign up to observe or do a trial and make it mandatory.

[Anonymous]

For those of you who mandate, how do you force them to go?

[Anonymous]

That's tough.
I have seen teens standing there with their arms crossed at sports practice and they are only getting in the way of those who do want to try the sport. Those obviously do not want to be there but the parent signed up.
And those are usually parents dropping off but not even staying to see if their child is doing anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That's tough.
I have seen teens standing there with their arms crossed at sports practice and they are only getting in the way of those who do want to try the sport. Those obviously do not want to be there but the parent signed up.
And those are usually parents dropping off but not even staying to see if their child is doing anything.

What good would a parent staying do? Most teams don't allow parental involvement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're not answering the question of what else he is doing. If it's screens and video games and a phone, restrict that stuff heavily.

Some kids if given the choice to lay around on screens will never do anything else.

Yes, sorry, it's screens.

He's always been a straight-A student so we've let him get away with more than should, but with high school approaching, we know that's not sustainable.

Yes, it is screens. I would say either pick an after school activity or no screens/phone/games until after 6 pm or perhaps not at all during weekend days except for homework.

[Anonymous]

I try very hard to implement a two hour a day screen limit. After that, I guess the kid can fill their time however they want.

[Anonymous]

Either you pick or I pick for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're not answering the question of what else he is doing. If it's screens and video games and a phone, restrict that stuff heavily.

Some kids if given the choice to lay around on screens will never do anything else.

Yes, sorry, it's screens.

He's always been a straight-A student so we've let him get away with more than should, but with high school approaching, we know that's not sustainable.

I would probably set a screen time limit or something like X amount of time at extra curriculars / studying and X amount of time on screen.

[Anonymous]

If your kid literally refuses to get in the car to go, then it seems like there may be a bigger problem than the activities. When my kid resists (he has ADHD and some of the grumpiness that comes with it), we push and eventually does it. And we're working on the way he deals with his grumpiness.

[Anonymous]

I would encourage involvement as a way to be with kids his own age. The only alternative is for you to sign up and attend activities with him. I don’t think he really wants to do a multiple mile walk every weekend, or volunteer at the food bank with HIS MOTHER tagging along.

I would be limiting the screens and gaming too. Believe me, I am sympathetic to the kids whose social activities were blown up during the pandemic. He needs a push.