How do you handle paying in large family situations?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Remember that they are spending thousands of dollars to travel to see you.

Presumably that is their choice, though.

I'd be happy housing some of them and hosting some meals. But, no, I'm not paying "10's of thousands of dollars" for visiting relatives.

They also have a choice. They have 2-3 weeks off, what should they do? Stay home? Do local stuff? Go to the beach or the mountains? Visit whom?

Spend $1000 to go to the 3 hour away ski trip or spend $1000 and visit cousin Larla in America who likes to show off, throw her family’s money around, and rollout the $$$$ red carpet for us.

Hmmm. Which trip to pick…?….

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I paid all the costs for my brother, SIL and their two kids when they visited us. We went to Disney, all the DC and NYC touristy stuff, Niagara Falls, San Francisco and the surrounding area and Seattle. We stayed with family in some of these places and in normal accommodations in the rest, nothing fancy. It was a substantial amount of money but it was also a once in a lifetime trip for them, so I didn’t mind. I wouldn’t pay for aunts and cousins though.

So before you all went on this long multi weeks off of work trip of the east coast, Florida and PacWest there was a mutual understanding that it was a one-time thing?

Not an every other year thing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I paid all the costs for my brother, SIL and their two kids when they visited us. We went to Disney, all the DC and NYC touristy stuff, Niagara Falls, San Francisco and the surrounding area and Seattle. We stayed with family in some of these places and in normal accommodations in the rest, nothing fancy. It was a substantial amount of money but it was also a once in a lifetime trip for them, so I didn’t mind. I wouldn’t pay for aunts and cousins though.

OP here. I always pay for my mom, dad and brother. This is a once in a lifetime trip for my aunts and uncles. One cousin will be joining them. My parents would want to treat but so not have the means so it falls on me. We can afford to do it. I will just plan to pay for everything once they get here.

This simply does not sound fun or with it to me whatsoever. Being responsible for a bunch of people’s overseas expenses and time and lodging and health and shopping and eating and itinerary. And for longer than 4 days? No way, I’m out. Throwing money at it doesn’t cut it either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:TENS of thousands??

Yes- explain OP. I could easily see hosting costing thousands…but tens of thousands?

I think I am just used to high standards of travel. Our family of five usually spends 10-20k per week. Since there will be 15-20 of us moving together, I just assumed it would be tens of thousands for three weeks.

Relatives will be staying at my parents’ house, my house and also hotels that I will likely be booking.

If you have that kind of money, why this thread?

Ironically spoke with tons of money aren't flaunting it around nor doing stuff like this.

But maybe Op is a multimillionaire with 10s of millions if FU money. Then I don’t know why she is posting here at all. $10-20k if after tax income or interest income is a drop in the bucket. She nor her spouse won’t car a bit to plan and pay for a cool trip all around the States and DC area.

If fact her spouse might not even make most of the fun.
He might have to go back to work since millionaires (ie make many millions per year, not savings), who work usually aren’t dorking around with Aunt Millie or Aunt Shivani in Times Square or 5th Avenue high tea for very long. But it will bring a multi millionaire much joy to fund it!

Go for it Op! sounds like you got a ton of money, and given its already October have your five star vacation and Michelin restaurants already booked. You don’t need Dcums blessing! And presumably (since you don’t mention it in any of your posts or responses), your husband doesn’t care whatsoever!

[Anonymous]

Have you been to NYC recently?

Any thoughts on today’s cost of a cab, meal, ticket, marijuana, hotels, hotel taxes, sales tax, etc.?

There are lot better places to spend $1000 a day per party of 2.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Remember that they are spending thousands of dollars to travel to see you.

Presumably that is their choice, though.

I'd be happy housing some of them and hosting some meals. But, no, I'm not paying "10's of thousands of dollars" for visiting relatives.

They also have a choice. They have 2-3 weeks off, what should they do? Stay home? Do local stuff? Go to the beach or the mountains? Visit whom?

Spend $1000 to go to the 3 hour away ski trip or spend $1000 and visit cousin Larla in America who likes to show off, throw her family’s money around, and rollout the $$$$ red carpet for us.

Hmmm. Which trip to pick…?….

True that’s a no brainer for the guests.

I think OP is starting to pitch this to herself that they can pay $15000 for their five-person winter break. Or instead they can spend $15000 on the 15+ visiting relatives and their family of five.

I don’t know if that’s the way to look at it since I have no time nor that kind of money to do that for three weeks. And it sounds like a PITA planning and managing, on top of everything I already manage at work and nuclear family. But I’d gladly be a guest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I earn the most in both sides of our families. I have relatives visiting from overseas. This will be a large group (10-15 people). There are 2 families who are UMC/UC and 2 families who struggle.

How do you handle planning and paying in large family groups?

I will likely just pay for everything once they get here. I can’t think of a way to ask the two richer aunts to help pay. This is my side of the family so I don’t think Dh will necessarily like for me shell out tens of thousands treating my extended family for everything.

When and if we travel with or host people of varying income levels we meet in the middle of expenses and excursions.
It’s the worst traveling with extra big spenders or extra big cheapskates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you been to NYC recently?

Any thoughts on today’s cost of a cab, meal, ticket, marijuana, hotels, hotel taxes, sales tax, etc.?

There are lot better places to spend $1000 a day per party of 2.

In New York, you can probably get by on the fumes in the street

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Remember that they are spending thousands of dollars to travel to see you.

Presumably that is their choice, though.

I'd be happy housing some of them and hosting some meals. But, no, I'm not paying "10's of thousands of dollars" for visiting relatives.

They also have a choice. They have 2-3 weeks off, what should they do? Stay home? Do local stuff? Go to the beach or the mountains? Visit whom?

Spend $1000 to go to the 3 hour away ski trip or spend $1000 and visit cousin Larla in America who likes to show off, throw her family’s money around, and rollout the $$$$ red carpet for us.

Hmmm. Which trip to pick…?….

Right, that's what I said. And it is why would not do that. And I wouldn't be sorry about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I paid all the costs for my brother, SIL and their two kids when they visited us. We went to Disney, all the DC and NYC touristy stuff, Niagara Falls, San Francisco and the surrounding area and Seattle. We stayed with family in some of these places and in normal accommodations in the rest, nothing fancy. It was a substantial amount of money but it was also a once in a lifetime trip for them, so I didn’t mind. I wouldn’t pay for aunts and cousins though.

So before you all went on this long multi weeks off of work trip of the east coast, Florida and PacWest there was a mutual understanding that it was a one-time thing?

Not an every other year thing?

Of course. We’re not rich like the OP seems to be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:TENS of thousands??

Yes- explain OP. I could easily see hosting costing thousands…but tens of thousands?

I think I am just used to high standards of travel. Our family of five usually spends 10-20k per week. Since there will be 15-20 of us moving together, I just assumed it would be tens of thousands for three weeks.

Relatives will be staying at my parents’ house, my house and also hotels that I will likely be booking.

Where are they going on this 3 week trip to the USA? NYC? Treating all of them to a 3 night nice hotel stay plus outings plus food could exceed 20k. How wiill you get this huge group to whatever multiple destinations in the USA? Touring DC? Renting a small bus and driver?

The scope of their visit/vacation in the USA is is bigger than picking up 6 hotel bills for relatives at a 2-3 night destination wedding.
I assume you live locally as do your parents.

OP here. NYC was one of the places we will be going. We easily spend 5k+ for just our family for a weekend. A not nice hotel will cost 6-800 per night.

8 rooms at a fine midtown hotel-at NY City Center - walk to park, rock center etc giving them 2 nights king bed suite with view [get small living area/lounge] is over 36k. Add in meals, transportation in the city, tickets, shopping. That will be over 50k. So why are you posting since all these people expect great accomodations and understand you are paying?

Add in San Francisco, maybe Miami etc and I guess you're planning on 300k for their 2-3 week visit. Frankly if you're planning on shelling that out why not send them cash to reimburse them for flights.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Remember that they are spending thousands of dollars to travel to see you.

Presumably that is their choice, though.

I'd be happy housing some of them and hosting some meals. But, no, I'm not paying "10's of thousands of dollars" for visiting relatives.

They also have a choice. They have 2-3 weeks off, what should they do? Stay home? Do local stuff? Go to the beach or the mountains? Visit whom?

Spend $1000 to go to the 3 hour away ski trip or spend $1000 and visit cousin Larla in America who likes to show off, throw her family’s money around, and rollout the $$$$ red carpet for us.

Hmmm. Which trip to pick…?….

I’ll fly in to have tour guide Op host me, take me around, and pay for everything. Sounds great!

[Anonymous]

I’d love the husband and his family’s take on this boondoggle of hospitality.

[Anonymous]

We always pay for everything.

[Anonymous]

How do we handle paying in LARGE family situations? We circulate a budget and all pay our pro rata.

If we’re just taking a relative out for their bday or a quick visit we’ll pay. And vice versa. But those are small family get togethers.

When we stay with either set of grandparents with our family of four, we also cook a few meals, lay for dinners out and buy a round of groceries. My spouse eats a lot okus wakes up very early, my kids are t the most well rounded eaters so I make sure to have the veg and fruits and proteins they do eat in hand so it’s not all carbs and picking through food.