How do you handle paying in large family situations?

[Anonymous]

DH and I earn the most in both sides of our families. I have relatives visiting from overseas. This will be a large group (10-15 people). There are 2 families who are UMC/UC and 2 families who struggle.

How do you handle planning and paying in large family groups?

I will likely just pay for everything once they get here. I can’t think of a way to ask the two richer aunts to help pay. This is my side of the family so I don’t think Dh will necessarily like for me shell out tens of thousands treating my extended family for everything.

[Anonymous]

What types of things are you paying for? That might help us better answer.

[Anonymous]

Remember that they are spending thousands of dollars to travel to see you.

[Anonymous]

My sister and I do well and our brother does not. One of us will pick up the check when we are out. After we get back my sister and I will discuss the total amount spent and we split it in half. One of us just sends the other money if needed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Remember that they are spending thousands of dollars to travel to see you.

Exactly. When we fly my family of 4 to Japan, and need to pay for expensive hotels, etc, we are always treated by my aunt to one formal dinner. She's not as well-off as we are, but it's a point of pride for her to thank us for coming all this way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Remember that they are spending thousands of dollars to travel to see you.

Exactly. We live in Africa and have family/friends in North America, South America, Europe, and Asia. We cover lots of expenses when people visit is because we know they are spending a lot to come.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I earn the most in both sides of our families. I have relatives visiting from overseas. This will be a large group (10-15 people). There are 2 families who are UMC/UC and 2 families who struggle.

How do you handle planning and paying in large family groups?

I will likely just pay for everything once they get here. I can’t think of a way to ask the two richer aunts to help pay. This is my side of the family so I don’t think Dh will necessarily like for me shell out tens of thousands treating my extended family for everything.

What are you doing that will cost tens of thousands?

[Anonymous]

It really depends. Generally when family visits us (from across the country- they usually stay at a hotel) we tend to pick up dinners- either dinners out, or we cook at home. Usually nothing fancy. Other meals are more variable. However, our relatives do not visit 10-15 at a time!

Are any of them staying with you, OP?

[Anonymous]

We need more info. Are any of them staying with you, or all at hotels? Are they coming specifically to visit you- not for another reason? What types of things do you plan to do?

[Anonymous]

TENS of thousands??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:TENS of thousands??

Yes- explain OP. I could easily see hosting costing thousands…but tens of thousands?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:TENS of thousands??

Yes- explain OP. I could easily see hosting costing thousands…but tens of thousands?

I think I am just used to high standards of travel. Our family of five usually spends 10-20k per week. Since there will be 15-20 of us moving together, I just assumed it would be tens of thousands for three weeks.

Relatives will be staying at my parents’ house, my house and also hotels that I will likely be booking.

[Anonymous]

My parents and I live in different states. They will visit them, come visit us and we will also be traveling altogether as a group to other destinations.

[Anonymous]

Is this a cultural thing?
I could see us taking turns paying for a restaurant meal, and of course I pay for anything hosted at my house, but this just wouldn't happen to us. No one would expect me to pay out that much money, ever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:TENS of thousands??

Yes- explain OP. I could easily see hosting costing thousands…but tens of thousands?

I think I am just used to high standards of travel. Our family of five usually spends 10-20k per week. Since there will be 15-20 of us moving together, I just assumed it would be tens of thousands for three weeks.

Relatives will be staying at my parents’ house, my house and also hotels that I will likely be booking.

If this is the life you have become accustomed to I'd say just go ahead and pay for everything and don't give it a second thought.